Dear Hermione,
How do you tell your best friend you're in love with her?
I asked Bill once. He told me I should just let my feelings speak. But it's difficult to do that when it could mean losing one of the best friends you'll ever have.
As I'm writing this letter, you're probably getting into white robes. It's just my horrible timing, isn't it – confessing my feelings to you on your wedding day?
Maybe you're right. Maybe I do have the emotional range of a teaspoon, doing this to you today.
It's all my fault – I know that. I shouldn't have pushed you away. Shouldn't have made you cry. I don't know when I fell in love with you, but I do know when I noticed. It was right before the Yule Ball in Fourth Year. Stupid, isn't it? The way I treated you – both before and during the Ball – was because I was in love with you.
But I was a child pulling on the pigtails of the girl he liked – still likes. Surely you must have noticed that.
And you loved me then. I'm sure of that at least, if nothing else.
But I pushed you too far away from me, didn't I?
Lavender was a mistake, such a bloody mistake. If I could turn back time, I'd stop myself from dating her. I'd tell you I was jealous of Krum; was jealous of the fact that Krum got to kiss you before I did.
But maybe – maybe that wasn't where it all went wrong.
I wish I'd never left you and Harry alone. I was such a jealous ass, worried that you loved him. I never told you what the piece of Voldemort in Slytherin's locket showed me the night I killed it, did I? It was you and Harry – together.
That was my mistake – letting my temper take over. I couldn't see it then, but I think that's when you fell out of love with me. Who could love a coward, after all?
When you kissed me during the Battle, I thought maybe – but that was just the heat of the moment, wasn't it? And when you told me it was a mistake –
Maybe I should have told you I loved you then instead of agreeing with you. Maybe it would have made a difference. But I doubt that. I'd already pushed you too far away, hadn't I?
Once upon a time, just after I started Hogwarts, Mum gave me a piece of advice. She told me not to take anyone for granted. She told me that just because someone came running back to me every time I pushed them away didn't mean that would always be the case. She warned me that one day, they wouldn't.
I never understood what she meant until today. I got used to you always forgiving me, didn't I? I never thought there would come a day when I wouldn't get my way. But now it's here. You're going to walk down the aisle, and it won't be me waiting for you. It'll be Snape.
You're not coming back to me, are you?
You'll hate me for doing this to you. I know you will. But I hope you'll understand why I can't watch you marry someone else.
By the time you read this letter, I'll be gone. Fred and George have been thinking of opening a Wheezes branch in France, and I've volunteered to run it.
I hope you'll forgive me for not being there on your wedding day. I have no doubt that you'll be a beautiful bride.
I hope – I hope you'll be happy Hermione. That's all I want for you. That's all I've ever wanted for you.
Goodbye, Hermione.
I'll always love you.
Yours always,
Ron.
For:
The If You Dare Challenge, Prompt 95. Lonesome
Harry Potter Spells Competition, Silencio
HP Potions Competition, Erumpent Potion
Florence and the Machine Challenge, Rabbit Heart
Gemstone Competition, Diamond
Philosopher's Stone Competition, The Letters From No One
Colours Competition, Turquoise (negative)
Greenhouse Competition, Iris