Disclaimer: Hey, guess what? Much to my own surprise, they aren't mine!
Author's Notes: Yes, yes, I'm back. This story just kinda came to me. I dunno what I'm gonna do with it though. It's AU and we're gonna say that Carter was never an asshole, so he didn't ever go to Africa. Oh, and Doc Magoo's never burnt down because who wants to go to a place called Ike's when you can have Doc Magoo's? And I'm thinking that if there are gonna be any spoilers, it'll be anything up until season nine. We may even include season nine. I dunno. I can't really gauge these things. No ten though, I promise. Enjoy and please review!
********** Happier Times Lie Ahead- Ch.1- How Long? **********
How long can someone go on thinking about a single person? How long until you just curl up and die because that's all you feel like doing? When does 'you'll get over her' actually start?
I ask myself these things a lot lately. I keep wondering if it is, in fact, possible to die of heartbreak. But then I conclude that if it were possible, I would have been dead for a long time now.
Because it seems that no matter what I do, I can't stop thinking about her. I've tried everything. I've pulled shift, after shift, after shift, just trying to keep my mind busy. I've tried sleeping constantly, but she just haunts my dreams. I've even tried dating other women, but I never feel an attraction towards them. Or at least nothing even slightly comparable to Abby.
And the worst part about it is, I still see her everyday.
About four months after we broke up, I had finally gotten the courage to look for a job outside of Chicago. I found one, had everything packed up, and was ready to go. But at the last minute, after I had said goodbye to everyone, including her, I picked up on the fact that I may never see her again. And I believed that I would much rather live with stolen glances than no glances at all.
Now I'm beginning to regret not going. Don't get me wrong. I love Abby with all my heart. But that's what the problem is. Seeing her day after day and knowing I'm not with her to comfort her or make her pain go away, or love her is what's killing me inside.
And now it's been a whole year since I ended it with her. Now that I actually take the time to look back on it, I don't really see the reason I gave up on 'us.'
We had had a fight. We were always fighting. But this time, I didn't hold back my temper. I just let it loose. She wouldn't talk to me. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't tell me. She told me that she didn't like to talk about things and that I should know and respect that. I told her that she can't always hold everything in, and if she did, she'd eventually explode. I told her I was sick of it. I was tired of her not talking to me, pushing me away and reeling me back in, just to push me away again. She said she was sorry. I told her that if she were really sorry, she wouldn't do it any more. Then I proceeded to tell her that we should take a break.
That break was only supposed to last a few days, maybe a week. But then that week turned into two, and two into four, and before I knew it, it had been about three months.
She's been on my mind for a really long time now. Unfortunately, though, I don't have anyone to go to. I can't talk to anybody about it. That's because I used to tell her everything.
She smiles a lot more now. And she seems happy now, more so than when we were together. She seems to have her life under control. Maybe I'm the one who brought her down. Maybe I was hurting her when I was only trying to help.
I steal another glance at her. She's at admit, laughing about something with Susan and Chuni. I love her smile. I love everything about her. I love her.
"Hey, doc? You gonna finish this?" I look back to Maurice, my patient. He's pointing at his hand lac that is taking me about an hour or so to suture.
"Uh, yeah. Sorry."
A few minutes and three sutures later, my shift is over and I'm heading to the lounge to put my stethoscope and lab coat in my locker. I hear the door swing open behind me but I don't bother to see who's entered.
**********
Reviews are magical things.
Author's Notes: Yes, yes, I'm back. This story just kinda came to me. I dunno what I'm gonna do with it though. It's AU and we're gonna say that Carter was never an asshole, so he didn't ever go to Africa. Oh, and Doc Magoo's never burnt down because who wants to go to a place called Ike's when you can have Doc Magoo's? And I'm thinking that if there are gonna be any spoilers, it'll be anything up until season nine. We may even include season nine. I dunno. I can't really gauge these things. No ten though, I promise. Enjoy and please review!
********** Happier Times Lie Ahead- Ch.1- How Long? **********
How long can someone go on thinking about a single person? How long until you just curl up and die because that's all you feel like doing? When does 'you'll get over her' actually start?
I ask myself these things a lot lately. I keep wondering if it is, in fact, possible to die of heartbreak. But then I conclude that if it were possible, I would have been dead for a long time now.
Because it seems that no matter what I do, I can't stop thinking about her. I've tried everything. I've pulled shift, after shift, after shift, just trying to keep my mind busy. I've tried sleeping constantly, but she just haunts my dreams. I've even tried dating other women, but I never feel an attraction towards them. Or at least nothing even slightly comparable to Abby.
And the worst part about it is, I still see her everyday.
About four months after we broke up, I had finally gotten the courage to look for a job outside of Chicago. I found one, had everything packed up, and was ready to go. But at the last minute, after I had said goodbye to everyone, including her, I picked up on the fact that I may never see her again. And I believed that I would much rather live with stolen glances than no glances at all.
Now I'm beginning to regret not going. Don't get me wrong. I love Abby with all my heart. But that's what the problem is. Seeing her day after day and knowing I'm not with her to comfort her or make her pain go away, or love her is what's killing me inside.
And now it's been a whole year since I ended it with her. Now that I actually take the time to look back on it, I don't really see the reason I gave up on 'us.'
We had had a fight. We were always fighting. But this time, I didn't hold back my temper. I just let it loose. She wouldn't talk to me. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't tell me. She told me that she didn't like to talk about things and that I should know and respect that. I told her that she can't always hold everything in, and if she did, she'd eventually explode. I told her I was sick of it. I was tired of her not talking to me, pushing me away and reeling me back in, just to push me away again. She said she was sorry. I told her that if she were really sorry, she wouldn't do it any more. Then I proceeded to tell her that we should take a break.
That break was only supposed to last a few days, maybe a week. But then that week turned into two, and two into four, and before I knew it, it had been about three months.
She's been on my mind for a really long time now. Unfortunately, though, I don't have anyone to go to. I can't talk to anybody about it. That's because I used to tell her everything.
She smiles a lot more now. And she seems happy now, more so than when we were together. She seems to have her life under control. Maybe I'm the one who brought her down. Maybe I was hurting her when I was only trying to help.
I steal another glance at her. She's at admit, laughing about something with Susan and Chuni. I love her smile. I love everything about her. I love her.
"Hey, doc? You gonna finish this?" I look back to Maurice, my patient. He's pointing at his hand lac that is taking me about an hour or so to suture.
"Uh, yeah. Sorry."
A few minutes and three sutures later, my shift is over and I'm heading to the lounge to put my stethoscope and lab coat in my locker. I hear the door swing open behind me but I don't bother to see who's entered.
**********
Reviews are magical things.