Disclaimer: I do not own Almost Human.
"So they're pleasure-bots." John said awkwardly. Dorian looked over at his partner, tactful as ever. He turned back to look at the road, they had just stopped at the dealer. Dorian trusted John's driving for the most part but this was more erratic than usual. "Do you have a...you know...?" John asked blushing furiously and watching the road although, by his driving, he could have fooled Dorian.
"A what John?" Dorian asked. He could be referring to any number of things, and, being John, it added a few more to the list.
"Down there." John asked nodding to his lap.
"A penis?" Dorian asked. John looked uncomfortable. "Yes. Would you like to see it?" Dorian asked as he began unzipping his pants.
"What-no-" John tried to stop him but Dorian was already out. John's eyes landed on it and widened.
"We were designed to be as human as possible." Dorian said as he re zipped his pants.
"That's not human. That's two humans." John said. Dorian smirked at his partner.
"What John? Are you afraid your girlfriend will get jealous?" Dorian teased.
"Detective Stahl's not my girlfriend." John said as his face went from blush to flush. Dorian nodded, still smirking.
"I ran a bio scan, and it looked like your testicles at full capacity." Dorian said looking carefully at John.
"You're scanning my balls?" John asked as his face returned to its awkward, uncomfortable, blush.
"I didn't enjoy it, I just..." Dorian lied. He did enjoy it. He enjoyed it a lot. Not that he would ever tell John that. Give him the satisfaction. No. Never.
"Oh, my God, this is unbelievable." John sighed. Dorian felt like he should be offended, hurt, feel bad, but he was working so hard on not laughing, he had nothing left to feel bad with.
"I can't help but notice you're backed up." Dorian finished. He did another scan, receiving the same results. He liked scanning John. It was...fun? Appeasing? Amusing? Pleasurable?
"What is the matter with you? Don't scan my testicles ever again." John said shifting and steeling a sideways glance at Dorian.
"Copy that." Dorian chuckled.
"So... We going to get you a sexbot?" John asked grinning and looking at the road as his driving finally began to even out, well at least for him. Dorian faltered.
"I don't think so." He said carefully.
"What? If they built it you should use it." John said laughing. This time it was Dorian who felt uncomfortable. "Are you a virgin?" John asked. Dorian fidgeted and John laughed. "You are." He said grinning.
"We're getting an update in the-" Dorian tried to change the subject.
"Don't change the subject." John interrupted.
"But it's about the case John." Dorian persisted.
"What kind of girls are you interested in?" John asked. Dorian decided the best course of action was to ignore him. Eyes glued to the road, he was intent on not encouraging John's prying any more. "Or guys? That's cool too." John added. Dorian kept looking at the road. "If you swing that way." John said. Still, nothing. "Or bots?" John pressed on. "Sex bots? Do they make guy sex bots?" John wondered aloud.
"Yes." Dorian answered his last question. John's face brightened at being acknowledged.
"Oooh." John cooed. "So guy sex bots. That's how you swing. You sic bastard." John laughed grinning at his partner.
"I never said that's the way I...swing. I just said they make male sex bots." Dorian corrected John who frowned. "Well John?" What do you want in a...mate?" Dorian asked. John thought for a moment.
"Someone smart." John said. "Smarter than me." He corrected.
"Well that shouldn't be too hard." Dorian said smirking as he made John an online dating page.
"Oh shut up." John sighed with a small smile.
"Someone like...Detective Stahl?" Dorian pressed smirking.
"What was that update?" John asked. "C'mon Dorian. Get your head in the case." He added with a stupid smile at his partner.
"Now it interests you?" Dorian asked rolling his eyes.