Notes: This was entirely inspired by a scene in Kare Kano, episode 17. It was quick and angst and I wanted to depict Hanamichi and Rukawa in the same circumstances. I think "Unison" suits this story better than "His and His Circumstances", ne? ^_^;;

Warnings: Shonen-ai/RuHana/Cotton candy fluff with a bout of angst.


Unison
By Dementia_12

I shuffled away from him instinctively, my whole face turning red as I felt him turn a concerned gaze on me.

It was harder and harder and I wanted to apologize as soon as I did it. We had come to this point together and that's how I wanted it to remain. Who would have ever thought Sakuragi Hanamichi would ever learn to feel this way about the dreaded kitsune? Yet, I did. I cared a great deal for Rukawa and he shared my feelings.

We liked each other and on most days, we were happy together.

But…

We hadn't gone past kissing and now I am feeling something more. I don't know how to express it to him and my feelings are building up, clogging my insides. I have to say it and get it out to him but as the days pass, I become more and more introverted.

I know my words would make him happy. I know he would see it as a gesture of my deep love for him and than we would kiss and kiss and lay together…

I can't believe I've come to feel this shy around him after all this time. When we took this step and made this transformation in our relationship, I never knew he would be the one instigating everything. Ever kiss, every embrace - Rukawa did it all. It never occurred to me to start something when we were together because I would become so entranced with looking at him. My heart would palpitate and soon all I was able to see and feel was Rukawa's gently smiling face and the beat of my heart.

Doki doki, doki doki…

"Hanamichi, are you alright?"

We had just had a date and the day had been wonderful. We stayed together all day, trading barbs and laughing. Just being close. It made me want him and I can't handle the feeling. He suspects something is wrong with me, commenting I was quieter than usual. It was on the tip of my tongue to blurt out everything than but I couldn't speak. This feeling is powerful - overwhelming me and I'm suffocating because I can't share it….

Rukawa…

He reached to touch my face and I couldn't help it. I saw his hand approaching and I flinched back. He looked at me, shocked and obviously hurt. I felt the blood leave my face as I gaped back at him. I didn't know what to say…so I ran away from him.

I could feel the tears building in my eyes as the distance that separated increased by the minute.

Rukawa's been lonesome all his life. He has never sought anyone out and had convinced himself that a solitary existence was ideal for him. He's never had anyone to love him, not even his parents, and he has never loved anyone before me. His awe for what we have, for me, shines in an unwavering glow in his eyes - like I was a gift he didn't expect or deserve. I mean a lot to him…

An image of his handsome visage passed before my eyes, shattering like glass.

I'm sorry, Rukawa.
I hurt you.
I'm sorry.

I stopped to catch my breath under a streetlight, my chest heaving with despair and fatigue. I didn't know how far I ran but I know I wouldn't be able to escape my actions.

I've damaged us, Rukawa.

I shook my head, causing tears to fling side to side. No. No! Ore wa Tensai! I'll apologize. I can do it. I can't cause Rukawa pain over this. I must do this. For Rukawa! For us!

I kept repeating these words in my head as I turned around. A small startled gasp broke free as I saw a familiar silhouette on the other side of the streetlight.

I couldn't see Rukawa's expression but he must have used some of his skills as a basketball player against me because he was suddenly in my space and pushing me harshly against the wall by the light.

I had no choice but to look at him, his grip bruising my shoulders as he stared at me. I hadn't seen him this angry since before we were together. Ire flickered in his normally cold blue eyes and his mouth was set grimly but when he spoke, all I could hear was need.

"I don't know why you've been pulling away from me! I don't care if you reject me! You don't know how long I waited for you to finally see me past that Akagi girl! I don't care if your feelings have changed!"

I was frozen by his words, by his tone, by the break in his voice…

"I don't care about any of it because I'm not letting you go!"

His eyes sparked with a mixture of determination and something disturbingly similar to fear before he enveloped me in his arms.

"Do'aho…", he said carefully, his voice soft and fragile. His bravado fading fast, Rukawa just closed his eyes and held on tight.

I hugged him back fiercely, overwhelmed by his affection for me. He was so brave. Burying my face in his neck, I whispered everything.

I'm sorry.
I was scared.
I want to make love with you.
I love you.

I need you, too.

We stayed like that for a long time before he whispered back, "I'm so happy." I pulled back and smiled at him, taking his hand and laying it on my chest so he could feel the rapid pounding of my heart.

Doki doki, doki doki…

"I feel the same, you know?"

"Huh?"

Rukawa took my hand and put it on his chest where I felt the quickening thrum of his heartbeat. We both blushed a bit and than smiled at each other.

"I'm glad.", I said quietly before moving to hug Rukawa.

"Ah. Me too.", Rukawa returned.


We shared a tender kiss under the moonlit sky, knowing that our hearts would always beat for each other in constant unison.

~Owari~