Of Simpler Times
Mass Effect Short story
This is an idea I got while reading an article titled '10 things you should know about the ME universe'. The one part was "move over Miranda/Jack, meet Gillian!"
So, I thought of this.
Keep in mind, I haven't read the newer stories with Kahlee Sanders, Gillian, and her father. Only the first two books with these characters. Keep in mind Shepard is Paragon and EARTH BORN here.
Gillian Grayson and Shepard (female) are a lot more like then they expect. And Shepard can't help to ignore that. A lot of choices are made, and this is one of them that will shape Shepard.
The universe is a dark place; people are compelled by grief, slaughter, slavery, pride, envy, sloth, vengeance, and terrible morals. Yet, it seems that these forces are a contribution to an equal amount of good. Without bad, we would not know good.
Shepard wasn't a hero, this she knew. No matter how many people she pleased, was it ever enough? She never wanted any of this to be her fault. The question still lingers in her mind; are heroes born, or are they made? Shepard could spend her whole life thinking of a desirable answer.
A young girl was present in her cabin, she sat opposed to her, she was much younger then Shepard thought. Such youth implies innocence in Shepard's mind, innocence that doesn't belong in a war. Yet she gained a sense of maturity from this young girl. A sort of understanding, Shepard thought, since she too was young and thrown into the terrible world by herself.
Gillian Grayson as she introduced. Shepard had known she has been through experiments, and knows of the reapers. And she still sat across from her, a sense of hardness growing into her young mind. Gillian was not guidable or seemed easily swayed; she gave off the idea that she's the type who can hold her own, no matter what you say. Unlike Shepard, who had seen the reapers from the start, Gillian was introduced to the Reapers in the final battles of the Galactic extinction carried out by the Reapers.
Gillian would never admit it, but she came to respect the Commander, for more than just her title as a hero. She had heard stories, and Shepard became her role model in a sense. Who didn't look up to the proud example of a leader who leaves nothing but good deeds where ever she goes? Shepard encouraged her, without ever knowing who Gillian was. Well, that is until now. Gillian had her idea of what Shepard was like, she idolized her in a way, and so it made Gillian anxious to be sitting right in front of the famous Shepard at this very moment.
"Gillian, you know if there's anything you want to talk about, I'm here to listen." Shepard looked at the girl, as she wanted it to sink in implying her seriousness. Shepard was trying to be as reasonable as possible; Gillian had seen a lot. And she didn't deserve everything she's been through. No one should have.
Gillian held back. "I know that, I just need time to work it out myself. That's what I've always done. I solve my problems."
Shepard watched patiently as Gillian opened up to her.
"I can do this myself. And I appreciate the thought but.." She trailed off. Her voice broke from calm to uneven. Gillian was upsetting herself, yet she refused to shed a single tear. She hadn't cried for a very long time.
Shepard felt sorry for Gillian. "I understand, if there's anything I can do to make it better. Let me know, okay?" Shepard spoke softly, she truly wanted to help. And now, she could.
There were things to do, there was so much, and so little time. The Reapers and Earth haunted Shepard's dreams and thoughts constantly, incredible amounts of 'what if's' shot through her mind daily. This only added to Shepards worries when she slept at night.
Encounters on a Cerberus facility lead Shepard to finding, and eventually allying herself with Gillian. At first it seemed a rescue, but Gillian quickly demonstrated her full capability of helping herself.
She brought Gillian back with her, refusing to leave a civilian with the shut down facility and it's dead. Now, she offered her a temporary place to eat, sleep, and be free for a little while until they could safely bring her to Grissom Academy.
"No, I said I don't want your help. I can handle it." Gillian said more sternly. What was upsetting her was unclear to Shepard; even since meeting Gillian she seemed a simple, easy going young lady who stayed cool, even in combat.
"Clearly something's upsetting you if you're acting this way" Shepard spoke softly. Gillian looked away, refusing to look the Commander in her eyes.
"You're just... not my mother. I don't feel comfortable speaking about my issues with you. It's nothing personal, but all my life my father abandoned me and left me to die while he got high on red sand." Gillian was getting angry now, after saying her father's name. A lot of disappointing memories came to mind. "I didn't need him then, and he taught me nothing but only I can take care of myself!"
Gillian waved her hands to gesture her frustration. "You have no what I've been through. I have lived like I'm nothing to some fucking terrorists who can't even think their own thoughts without it being corrupt. It kills me inside to be nothing in their eyes, they never even treated me like I was human!"
"And who are people anyway, to tell ME that you need 'experience' to take on the real world. I'm more powerful than any of those hypocrites, I know. I could have killed them all, blew up a station, and ran away to live however I please without anyone telling me otherwise!"
Shepard only sat and listened, there was no point in arguing with the girl.
"I could have had a normal life. And lived with my biological parents in the safety of a human colony, surrounded by normal things and friends. But I don't. I dont have ANY of that." Gillian held her head in shame at her emotional outburst. "But no, I'm different. Doesn't anyone ever wonder what I want? I want to be Gillian Sanders, a normal girl who attends school and works and comes home to her house and family. Is that to fucking much to ask?"
Gillian finished her outburst, and collected herself. Still not looking at the Commander.
"Is it ever enough to ask for a normal life?"
"Gillian, I understand what they did to you. And what they did was wrong, but that doesn't mean your wrong. You are not a mistake, and I promise you, I will do everything in my power to get you what you deserve. You cannot spend your whole life focusing on the bad, because you will blind yourself of everything that is good." Shepard elaborated.
Gillian stood for a moment, the pause was awkwardly silent. "I know." She found herself sitting back down quietly across from Shepard; a faint smile appeared on her soft face.
"I... I agree. I mean, of course I can't see the good, I'm just human. I want to be happy for once. Is that so selfish of me? I know I'll figure something out. But I'm just so lost at the same time."
"Well, you've got a lot of potential. Good potential. I'd hate to see it go unappreciated." Shepard smiled softly at Gillian, and Gillian continued to look away. Embarrassed by her anger she let out on the Commander. It wasn't Shepard's fault. It was Cerberus'.
"If it is okay with you," Shepard continued. "And when things calm down. I can visit you at the Academy. You know, for some personal time. Just you and me, as friends." Shepard chose her words wisely, and etched on to Gillian at what she was suggesting.
Gillian felt indecisive; she never had a father to begin with. She never considered anyone a friend out of her shame she felt when she thought of her father's actions to only abuse her. She despised the idea of having someone look after her. So she learned to grow without a proper parent, or any friend.
"You would want to visit me? Don't you have other things to do?"
"Of course. It would be my pleasure to be with you. But understand, I can't watch over you now. I cannot take you into battle-"
"I know." Gillian gave her a reassuring smile. "But, after that?"
"Yes, I'll even teach you a thing or two about biotics. You can learn the right way this time."
This was a new beginning for Gillian. The opportunity to fill in all the gaps, and actually feel something she never thought she could have. She told herself to trust no one, take no friends, and do only what benefits yourself. For years she accepted this with a struggle. Eventually, she forgot the pain and hid it. Now, it was all rushing back. Gillian felt trust for the first time in a long time.
"I really do appreciate this. I haven't been looking forward to anything lately."
"Then it's settled. We'll work through this, together."
Gillian's face felt.. different. She didn't feel the urge to put on a smile, it just simply happened. She felt awkward letting it show, because it was so alien.
People are capable of more than just hatred, but of being able to understand as well. Just because one doesn't seem to follow in other views, doesn't mean they are a monster. Every being, has different views and origins. It is what makes the world so unique and worth fighting for. Freedom and equality are some of the biggest obstacles sapient beings strive to make a reality. As long as there is one, there will always be a final battle to fight for what we love.