Fifty Shades of Seddie
A/N: Hello readers! I don't usually write author's notes, but when I do, you shall read them. This idea to collaborate Seddie with the plot from the pornographic novel that everyone's been buzzing about hasn't been done yet. I thought I would take it upon myself to write it! Just to clarify, this is a parody. It will have its moments of bad writing, but that's the whole point of a parody, right? I haven't read all of "Fifty Shades of Grey", but I have read parts of it, so I will be quoting those parts only. The rest I will write up from my own imagination. To anyone who's read it and likes the book, I apologize in advance. This is also the first M-rated fanfic I've ever written, so go easy on me, please. Enjoy!
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(Sam's POV)
The approximate time my inner goddess should've gotten up was an hour ago. If I could follow my urge just to snuggle back in between my bed sheets and relax into complete slumber, I would. I should have, but that wouldn't have created the wonderful plot-line coming up. When I sat up from my bed, my hair fell in front of my face in a tangled mess. I cursed at it loudly because I can. I brushed it aside and got ready for my day. I always yell at my hair in the morning. #YOLO. I heard some fierce coughing from down the hall. My inner goddess decided to go investigate.
"Who's dying?" I asked humorously. My roommate and best friend, Carly, came out of her room with a thermometer in her mouth. Her petite body was draped in a purple bathrobe.
"I am", she snapped. "And of course my body decides to shut down the day of my interview. Could you go for me?"
I sigh without giving it much thought. "I guess. I just hope he isn't a seductive, secretive guy who smirks a lot and is into BDSM. I also hope he doesn't present me with a contract for him to have complete control over me and fuck me until the cows come home. Oh well, that couldn't happen, right?"
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Wrong.
"Hello. My name Freddie Benson", he introduces himself sexily.
This motherfucker sitting across from me has probably been smirking since he was a fetus in his mother's uterus. My inner goddess freaks out as he invites me in with his cold gaze. My inner goddess finds him sexy, yet intimidating. My inner goddess sits her ass in a chair and completely fucks up the interview. At least that's what I thought.
"You didn't fuck up the interview", he says as if he could somehow read my mind. "In fact, here's my phone number. I know we just met. And this is crazy. But #YOLO. Laters, baby."
He leaves the motherfucking room. My inner goddess comes to the conclusion that I like-like this bitch and his fucking smirk. Fuck.
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A/N: Another author's note! Hello there! I know this was really short, but the rest will be longer IF I get reviews telling me to continue. I haven't even gotten to the 'down there' parts yet.