Sweet dreams
He tossed and turned again,this was the third night in a row,he couldn't get to sleep,he was beginning to look like the walking old women on the square wouldn't fancy him now,looking as he is,he laughed quietly to himself,enjoying his thoughts,the only other time he allowed himself to laugh and have fun was when he was working with Christian-no-he has to stop that train of thought dead on its but he couldn't stop feeling,could he?Sure you can erase memories,reject thoughts,but you cant turn off your was Christians image burned onto my eyelids in the first place that woke him up.
Suddenly Syed is angered,he is so fed up with having to be in control of how he acts,check himself all the time in front of Amira,his mother....ya well not in my sleep,so he just lets go......just for a minute......
The images flash by so quickly he can hardly get a grip on them and feels like he's unconsciously the pace slows like a roll of film,and he recognises the welcome familiar face,as thay go by one by one.
Christian and himself tussling in the kitchen,how his muscle-clad body was over him arresting his arms to the a moment,the struggle left him because he didn't want to fight Christian anymore,he found himself wanting to pull Christian on top of him instead.
Turns left...
Somehow,Christian is even more appealing when he's hurt and vulnerable,the quiver of his soft lip,the tears filling his clear blue eyes,he's not his towering brimful of confidence person 's hunched over as if in..... defeat,defeat of what,of losing..........me,I 's declared himself so many times but
Turns right....
The sweet scent of Christian's cologne when he breezes past you,I almost buckled at the knees once,oh allah,Ive got to stop this,like a schoolboy in love,oh those were good years in Pakistan,the memory so clear of when I first met was a beauty even then,flushed red cheeks,short blonde hair,warm,inviting eyes,soft small lips,blocky shoulders,thick tight thighs.......oh no,not again....
Throws off the blanket,angry welling up again,or hostile is it,'passive agressive' as Christ-no this has got to stop......
And what about the cruel things he has done,taunting him,teasing him,tempting him....all the nasty words that have been said,the fighting, the shouting,so thats love is it,well according to Christian it stubborn,egotistical,kind-hearted,warm,friendly.....
'Alright that's enough sleep for tonight,I think'