Hey, a few warnings:
I'm not the fantabuawesome Stephenie Meyer, sorry. I'm just borrowing the characters.
Um, yeah. EdwardxSeth is actually what you think it means. Don't read it if you don't like the pairing.
Oh, and, this is my first fic, so please be nice if you review.
"Edward.. I... I love Jacob." Bella's voice quivered and she bowed her head low, I could feel Jacob's usually frustrated engery spike the air as he shifted slightly, out of fear that I would snap. I was beyond that.
"I completely understand." I ground out smoothly, thanking the heavens that I could no longer cry while my words lied straight to her face. I could at least keep a decent composure while my dead heart was being, almost literally, ripped from my chest.
"Please." She sniffled, the tears starting now, "Please don't be understanding. It only makes it worse." She was crying, but I knew Bella didn't want my comforting; no matter how badly I wanted to give it to her.
How much I wanted to just scoop her into my arms and just let her know that everything was all right. That everything was okay. I would give her anything, anything she desired if she would just stay. I would find a way to lasso down the moon if she'd only ask.
"Come on, Bells, let's go home." Jacob wrapped his arm around her waist, leading Bella into his small, beat-up Rabbit. She molded into him, as she had once done for me. She felt completely at ease as he held her like that, and it was all I had not to start screaming wordlessly at her, pleading my emotions with animalistic cries.
"That's not safe!" I wanted to scream, to carry her though the forest in my own arms away from the La Push/Forks boundary line. But that was not my decision to make. It never was.
"Jacob." I said, keeping a perfect facade of calmness. I needed her to think I was okay with this. She needed to be happy, above all else. "Please, if you do anything useful with your life, keep her safe. Safe and happy." My voice cracked almost inaudibly at the end, and the mutt nodded once before climbing into the other side of the rusted car, and I watched the frame bob slightly with his weight. My hand automatically rose, and bella turned her head slightly as her body deteced the movement, still responding to every subtle movement I made. her reaction, alike so many other times, made me twitch a bit.
"Farewell, Bella." I said, raising the hand, my right hand, to give her a small wave. She stared out the window, a torn expression on my angel's face. If only I could hear her. Maybe then I could understand, maybe then I could trust this decision of hers.
Maybe I wouldn't be crying invisible tears over her. Her last whisper stuck into my ears like the final crying scream of a loved one. I would never forget that sound for the rest of my existance, however short I chose to make it.
"Goodbye."
I was curled up on my large, now blatantly unneeded, plush bed, tearlessly sobbing at the memory that refused to leave the back of my now-dark eyelids. I was forcing myself to waste away, to not allow myself any kind of sustinance. I didn't need it, I didn't deserve it. I couldn't make Bella happy. I had failed, and lost her. She was gone.
But I kept replaying the best memories in my mind, and she was never gone. I could almost see her there next to me, grinning and talking about nothing, but I would listen anyway, watching her lips move and that warm blush, the familiar blood rush that barely brought venom to my mouth as I awakenly dreamed of her.
"Edward." Alice lightly sat down on the edge of my gold comforter. Of course I noticed her walk up, but I chose not to pay attention. She was stepping too hard on my nerves lately. I let out a low warning growl and she 'tsked' at me. "Edward, let's play chess, let's go hunting, please?" She whined; I shook. She wanted to play. She wanted me to enjoy mself while I knew that Bella, my Bella was somewhere out with that.. That.. Dog. There was no way that I would ever be able to "enjoy" as her mind said it, ever again. Maybe I would enjoy death. That would be one thing I could enjoy.
"Just leave me alone, Alice." I breathed, "Leave me here." It was almost difficult to talk, my voice was trying to be raspy from crying, but it just couldn't. The human instincts that had been pulled to the surface were settling their way back down.
"You're being such a queen." Alice glared at me, and I rolled over, my dead expression making her sureness falter.
"You're being such a nusiance." I snarled, and she jumped slightly. I knew she missed Bella, too, but not as much as me. She could never grasp this feeling, this pain, and I would never want her to. Never, never would I wish this on my worst enemy.
"Edward!" Carlisle shouted up the stairs - it was probably the third or fourth time he'd called, my apathy had made me better at ignoring everything but my delusions - and I shot down the stairs at a high enough speed that it pulled the wallpaper off the walls with the suction force. I was becoming more like an animal every day, every second. And I was enjoying it.
"You have a visitor." My father stepped to the side to reveal a - for once - shy-looking Sam. I bit back a snarl as I noted the scent on his skin.
"Please forgive my intrusion." He began, his face in a perpetual frown. I cleared my mind for a moment, trying to focus on not killing the pack leader, who looked stressed enough already. "I just came by to ask Edward a question, it's about Seth." He tacked on the last part, trying to make his intrusion right. It didn't, and I doubted that it ever would.
"Well?" I hissed, hating the smell Sam was giving of. He smelled like a mixture of mutt and a slight sprinkling of freesia. If I had feeling in my stomach, I'm sure it would have rolled at the memory of Bella's scent. I bit my tongue.
"As you know." He started, "Seth's father died a little while back, and he's had no male guidance since then. Seth tried to turn to Jake..." I stiffened at the Jacob's name. The mutt's name had become a bane in this house since the insident, and Sam had just caught on. He looked me in the eye and continued.
"Well..Yeah. Seth adores you, Edward." Sam pleaded, and I looked around the arrogant pack leader to see Seth, who was sitting in Sam's truck, bobbing his head to the beat of the music in his headphones. I could hear it, loud and clear, and my mind wandered while I listend to it. With a small jolt I realised that I didn't know the band. Not that that mattered to me at all.
"Why would you want me?" I almost laughed at the absurdity of the proposition. "Aren't you afraid I'll slaughter him, turn Seth against you?" I was shouting now, and Esme cringed slightly in the next room. That was outrageous. I would kill him the moment he slipped up, and we all knew it. Did Sam really not care at all about Seth's well-being? What would even bring him to that conclusion? Was Seth suicidal?
"No." Sam answered calmly, looking into my no-doubt black eyes. "We just want him to have a friend, an older brother." He said this sadly, like he actually regretted it. "And I can't talk to him myself." And none of the other "brothers" wanted to take him on? What, were they all too busy now?
"You mean you don't want him in the way." I growled, and Sam shook his head, as if to say, 'It's not like that.' I had no idea why Sam would want me, of all people, to babysit Seth. He knew how I felt about their kind. "Fine. Bring him in." I said coldly. If not one else would take care of him the least I could do was put the child out of his misery. Life is a lonely place when no one wants you.
Sam turned around and bent to pick up a rock he had lodged in the laces of his shoes. He launched it out of the still-open doorway, hitting the direct center of Seth's window. The boy jumped and looked around swiftly, wide-eyed, and his mouth opened into a sigh of relief when he realised it was only Sam. He stepped out of the car warily, creeping gracefully up to the house. I snorted. He just had no idea, did he?
"Hey." He said in a nervous tone, his fingers bouncing at his sides. The studio-style headphones around his neck blasted something at full volume. I listened to it momentarily, and then ignored the background noise. I just glared sullenly at the kid while he fidgeted under my gaze. The rest of my family scattered throughout the house, giving us some space. I had no doubt now that they were all in on it. untrustable liars, all of them.
"Seth. Behave." Sam said as a commanding farewell, and my family was completely vanished as Sam walked out the door. I just stared at the boy that was now in my posession, for the most part. Great. I thought my thoughts sourly as Seth just glanced up at me, his long lashes shadowing his eyes. I gazed into the brown for a moment and my breath caught. I felt something inside me click, but I beat it back down. Whatever it was.
Hey, this was a rewrite. I think this is much better, but whatever. I'm rewriting this whole story, and yeah.
If anyone wants to give me a review, cool. They keep me going.
xoShelby