Everyone said he was bad for her. That when he was around, her light wasn't. But she never felt anything leave her; she never noticed anything different about herself. They were just jealous. Finn, he was just jealous. Finn had once held her in the palm of hand and now, now he had no grip on her at all.
Kurt, what a laugh. Why would he not be jealous? She was with Noah Puckerman and hung out with the entire football team on a regular basis. What hormonal teenage gay boy wouldn't be jealous?
Mercedes. When did she mind her own business anyways? She was always going on about, "Girl, please. You need to open your eyes." but Rachel's eyes weren't closed. (Plus, Mercede's "Girl please's" had lost their meaning with as much as she repeated the phrase.)
Wait and see, you'll believe when he's here next to me
That's what I told them
You were my way of trying to prove in the power of transforming
-
Quinn had the baby, but she went away with it. Her parents had shipped her off to some boarding school that had a program for teen mothers. They didn't want her here anymore; she put shame to their religion.
When he found out, he stopped doing everything. He stopped going to school, he stopped cleaning pools, and he stopped his weekly fight club visits. The only thing he kept up with was the drinking.
She was the one who fixed him. She was the one who had come over to make sure he was okay. Rachel Berry. Not even his best friend Finn. He was hurting, but so was Puck. (What happened to bros over hoes?)
-
It started somewhere between too much time on his hands and nothing to do with it and Rachel being insanely good looking and oddly willing. (It didn't help his case how good she smelled. Like raspberries, but better.)
This time it'll be different
Cause I just knew you'd come through like a flower that needs a little nutrition
-
But he was Noah Puckerman and he was a disappointment to everyone. It didn't change just because she got him to come back to school, back to glee, back to life. She didn't change him; she had just sewn his parts back together for a while.
She was just as useless at sewing as she was at not talking. He fell apart at the seams.
But caring ain't enough, no matter what you do
It's tearing my heart up
-
When they kissed she saw gold stars, bright lights, Broadway. When they kissed, she saw all things good in the world, and he didn't see a damn thing.
Rachel was blind to this, so she continued on. (The light from the fireworks had made her eyes incapable of proper use, she'll think later.)
You're outta line, colorblind to the light
-
"Noah, I can't quarrel with you anymore. I can't keep disputing over useless things. I'm so drained of hearing you say bad things about yourself; they aren't true. None of them are correct. I can't do this anymore. I love you, but I don't feel like that's enough for you. Ever."
Her voice was low and breaking with every word (her voice never broke) and he was just staring right past it. He was everything he said he was; her believing anything different didn't change a damn thing. He was cold and hard, like a statue in winter.
"If you don't say anything Noah, I'm going to go to lie down and rest for my solo at glee club tomorrow."
He didn't say anything.
"Noah. Please."
Nothing.
"Alright, look. I love you, I do. But this isn't right. We're young, I'm young; I can't continue with this. I have dreams, ambitions, hopes for myself. But you, you don't seem to have anything. You don't share my future and you don't wish too. Can you deny that?"
He wanted to say yes, he could deny that, but he didn't. She was in near hysterics and nothing he could say would stop her, because none of it would be true.
-
"I'm going up to sleep. I want you to think about what I've said and once you're finished, if you've decided that I'm wrong, that you do truly want me, then stay. But if not, please leave. Understand though, if you go, you can't come back."
She was regrouping herself in the kitchen, stopping her tears so she could leave with dignity.
"Goodnight, Rach."
There's so many things I should've said to you
I let you off easy cause I already knew
Somebody as stubborn as yourself won't change
Even if that means suffering
-
He packed his bags and when he was sure she was asleep lightly kissed her cheek. (What he had meant to say before was "Goodbye, Rach" but goodnight had come out instead because damn those puppy eyes. To hell with not giving false hope, let her enjoy thinking that maybe he'll be there in the morning brewing her favorite protein shake.)
-
When she didn't come to find him, it hurt. But all was fair in love and war. He had played the game and the scorecard had come out as even as possible. An eye for an eye.
She bruised his ego, he broke her heart.
I couldn't save you and I didn't want to
Cause I won't embrace you to fabricate you
-
She grew tired of repeating all of the patterns she had loved to relive before. (Yesterday, she had cried at just the sight of a gold star.) Things were different now, they were different now.
Actually, they weren't anything now.
(He had left her three weeks ago. She wasn't naive enough to believe he would come back, regardless she had hoped he would. The hope grew into expectations and expectations became disappointments.)
She fell asleep in the same position thinking about him at the same time, every night. This was a pattern she would have to continue with, she was too exhausted to break it.
You're a piece of the past and I can't keep
elaborating on us
But I would kill to forget what it is about that
I need so much
-
He sees her with Finn all the time now. She meets him after football practice, hangs out at bowling allies with him (really, what?), they're always getting milkshakes together and sharing them (disgusting.).
Puck had left her and Finn had been there to pick up the pieces. He couldn't be jealous or spiteful towards someone that he had given away.
(Yet here he was.)
I'll wait for the one who won't make me sigh and say
I couldn't save you