AN: This is a total crack!fic, so don't take it seriously. I don't know if this has been brought up before, but if it has, sorry.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.
Idiot Proof
It was one of those days at the office. The ones where all the information seemed to taunt the Kira Investigation Team and floated away while nothing spontaneous ever happened to give a trail. Ryuk himself was busy lounging on one of the couches, swallowing several apples in mere minutes, all the while looking thoroughly pleased.
It was so amusing to see these humans frustrated over something so ridiculous. It was just a game to him anyways.
The Death Note was splayed out on the coffee table in front of him, filled with several names of people who had died. Obviously. Matsuda studied them in which his version of studying was gazing at the pages with a glazed over look. He could pick it up and observe it from every angle, and he still wouldn't be able to come to a conclusion.
Picking up the Death Note along with an apple, Matsuda strolled over to where Light and Aizawa were sitting, staring at the computer screens with such intensity, one would think they were suffering a severe case of diarrhea. Matsuda noticed Light scrawling down a few notes on some death dates of criminals. He paused in chewing his apple, looking down at the Death Note's open page.
That's odd…
Swallowing, "Hey Light, the handwriting in here looks exactly like yours…it even has the funny loop on the y!"
Light paused, dropped his pencil, and leaned back in his seat with an eerily calm expression.
"I will fucking kill you, Matsuda."