Hmm... This actually didn't come out quite so well as I'd hoped, but oh well. It's not horrible, and it is amusing. First of three - the second will deal with Prowl meeting Miles for the first time, the second with Jazz and Prowl's reunification.

Title: On The Universal Pride Of Those Identified As Male (01/03)
Characters: Prowl, Miles, Others Mentioned
Pairings: JazzxProwl
Summary: Miles meets Prowl. A very upset Prowl. Who is proving that, indeed, some things are known to all societies.
Author's Note: The result of two bunnies crashing head-long into each other. One requested 2007-verse Femme!Prowl. The other had Miles first quote in it. I found this... just too amusing.
Disclaimer: snarks Trust me, if I owned Transformers, these situations would be much more common. But they aren't, so I don't.

"So, apparently giant alien robots exist and are fighting a war in our backyard. That's... weird. But what I don't get, Prowl, is why you don't want either side to know you're here."

"I am loyal to Optimus Prime and the Autobots, but I simply do not wish to be acknowledged yet." Prowl's voice was striving towards monotone, but there was still something there – frustration? annoyance? confusion?

"That doesn't answer my question." The human pointed out.

"The answer you seek is fairly complex, and would require that I explain a good portion of Cybertronian society."

"I'm sitting inside you. I've been sitting inside you for nearly five hours. I will be sitting inside you for, approximately, the next seventy-two hours. We have the time."

"Very well then. The first practice you need to know of in order to understand the circumstances that led to my current… predicament is called bonding. Bonding is the practice of binding two sparks together in such a way that they are only one spark, split across two bodies. Bonding is the ultimate act of 'love' on our planet, something that is permanent. It is… the most fulfilling act that is possible for a Transformer." The Charger paused, checking that his passenger followed thus far, and continued.

"But there is a huge risk that comes with bonding, though once bonded it doesn't seem so much a risk as a reassurance. Because the two spark's in question are no longer separate, they cannot survive without each other. When one member of a bonded pair dies, the other follows. Approximately four point five seven months ago, my bonded partner died on this planet."

"Oh." The child didn't say anything for a long few minutes, unsure as to whether speaking would be appropriate, but eventually deciding that this really was something he needed to understand completely, and if that meant prodding what might still be a fresh wound… Miles could only hope the other would forgive him, but he rather needed this knowledge. But he could still be tactful, if nothing else. "But you're still here."

"Yes. The death is not always instantaneous – sometimes it is, but for me it wasn't. Rather, I began to go through, to use a human term, total system failure. I would have not have survived had it not been for the fact that – and I know, trust me, I know, that this is completely illogical – Jazz came back to life."

"Okay, wait a minute. Jazz is your…" The blonde-haired boy sounded almost startled.

"Bondmate."

"Right. Jazz is your bondmate. He died. You were on the verge of death. And then he came back to life."

"That is correct. It's entirely possible that Jazz is no longer the same person though – or he might not have his memories. I don't know."

Briefly, Miles considered informing Prowl of the fact that his story sounded like the plot of a bad horror movie, but decided that that would be very far from appropriate. "All right. Okay, I… Right. So you don't want to find out what happened?"

"I would very much like to know what happened."

"Then why do you want to avoid the only people who can answer your question?!"

"Well… When I was crashing, a large amount of damage was done to my protoform. Our engineer, Wheeljack, did not have enough materials to rebuild me as I originally was. My current for is not as adept at fighting. It could be dangerous to encounter the Autobots at this point, so I've chosen to remain in hiding until such a time as Wheeljack can restore me."

"So… so you're embarrassed?"

"Of course not. That would be illogical."

"Sorry, Prowl. You're a pretty cool girl, but I somehow doubt everything you do is dictated by logic."

"Male."

"Male?"

"I should be identified as a 'male'."

"Sorry, you seemed like a girl…"

"…Wheeljack only had enough materials to rebuild me as a femme."

Miles wonder how, exactly, he had managed to hook up with the giant, alien robot who should be a male but was, apparently, currently female. Then he realized exactly what that meant.

"Dude, you mean this is all because of your masculine pride?"