Hello, Dear Readers. Do you remember when, back in late Febuary, I was sick for a little while? Well, during that time, I had a pretty bad fever, and was slightly delirious...And thus, this chapter was born. I was literally lying on my bed, half-asleep, and then the idea popped into my head. But, once I had written it, I couldn't really get it to fit in with the story (it takes place a few chapters after Shawn and 'Taker get "official"), so I didn't force it in. It was total filler, and I felt like I had enough in the story at that point.

Besides all that, it's very...weird. Just weird. Almost embarrassingly weird. All of my weirdness shines through, I think...well, some at least. 'Taker doesn't get spanked in this one, unfortunately. For that, you'll have to read Enough. (laughs) So, for all of you who care, this is a present of sorts for your patience, and a peek into my psyche. Please don't call the guys in the white coats...

The Undertaker knew that Shawn was up to something that next week, he just didn't know what. He had tried, for three days, with no success, to get the secret out of the Heartbreak Kid, and had only received smiles for his troubles. As a last attempt, he took Shawn out to dinner, and afterwards took him to the roof of the hotel to gaze at the stars. He figured that Shawn would like that, and after a few sweet, silent moment, he asked again.

"I'll tell you when the time is right," Shawn said with a grin. "I think…no, I'm certain you'll enjoy it. It's a pleasant surprise, I promise."

'Taker shook his head. "Shawn, I hate surprises… Usually they end up being pretty bad…"

"Well, this one's going to be different. It's like nothing you've ever gotten before." Shawn winked at him and took his hand. "For now, don't worry about it, and let's enjoy this beautiful night. I'll tell you tomorrow after the show."

The Undertaker nodded after a moment. "Fine," he said, making sure to roll his eyes. "But it better be good."

Shawn only laughed and looked up at the stars, none of which could even begin to rival those green eyes.

Although he didn't want to admit it, 'Taker was more than a little curious about what Shawn had planned. The day seemed to drag on and on; even his match seemed to take forever. When it was over, however, he quickly walked to the locker room to shower and change. To his surprise, Shawn met him there, a huge grin on his face.

"Ready for your surprise?" he asked, and Mark nodded. "Okay, close your eyes."

The Undertaker gave him a skeptical look, but did close his eyes, and wasn't surprised when he felt a light kiss on his lips. There was complete silence for about two minutes, and then footsteps.

"Okay, open your eyes!"

Mark did, and had to blink twice, because the first thing he saw was Shawn standing there, in a wide brimmed hat with a feather in it, a suit, and a fancy cane. Everything was purple, except for the black feather.

"What. The. Fuck…?" the Undertaker said, shaking his head and trying to make sense of things. "You look like a…a…"

"Pimp?" Shawn supplied with a smile.

"Yeah! But…why do you look like a pimp, Shawn?"

The Heartbreak Kid laughed and embraced him warmly. "Surprise! I'm your pimp!"

Mark stood there in stunned silence for a while. "Whoa, Shawn, what the hell are you talking about? Is this a game or something?"

Shawn took a step back and shook his head. "Nope. I'm going to be your pimp from now on." He spun the cane happily. "You see, when you told me Batista kissed you, I got an idea and talked to some of the WWE Superstars. And…it seems as though a lot of them would like to get to know you a bit better…" He winked at his tall, baffled boyfriend. "So, I thought, 'Hey, why not take advantage of this!' and I decided to be your pimp."

The Undertaker shook his head, not knowing what to say or think. "Shawn… You're seriously going to try and whore me out to other people? Why?" He felt a twinge of sadness, wondering why his lover would even think of something so… "And what in hell made you think I'd agree to this?!" he growled, becoming angry.

But Shawn's smile didn't diminish. "Don't think of it that way, Mark… Think of it as an experiment. I just want to see what would happen… I have to know how many people want my boyfriend, after all, and this is the easiest way." He gave another wink. "And we'll make some money from it too, among other things."

"Shawn, that's called prostitution." 'Taker rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. He exhaled slowly, reminding himself that Shawn sometimes needed things explained to him. "Baby, this ain't gonna work."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not sleeping with anyone that's not you!" He took Shawn by the shoulders. "Especially not for money! I've never been one to do that. I'll never do it."

Shawn's eyes grew misty. "Not even for me?" he asked in a low voice. Mark bit his lip and looked away.

"Shawn…please don't make me do this."

"So you would do it for me?"

The Undertaker kissed his lover's hand with sad eyes. "I'd do anything and everything for you, if you asked."

Shawn nodded and kissed him on the cheek. "Then do this for me. It won't be forever… And trust me, I have my reasons."

'Taker sighed brokenly. "Alright…fine. But, Shawn if a guy wants to…" A light blush crept across his face. "I wanted you to be my first… God, I sound like a damn teenager!"

The Heartbreak Kid's eyes widened. "You've never been with a guy before?" he asked, watching as his lover grew even more red. "Ever?"

"No… There have been a few women, but it wasn't love… You're the first person I've ever loved, and I'm certain you're the only one I ever will."

The words struck Shawn hard, and for a moment he felt terrible for asking Mark be a whore for him… But...

"I love you," he said softly, kissing him lightly on the lips. "Now, why don't you go shower, and I'll go make arrangements, okay?"

'Taker nodded and started to walk into the shower, waiting until he knew Shawn was out of the room to follow him.

The Undertaker followed Shawn all the way down the hall without him knowing, and watched as he went into a large conference room and close the door. Silently, he crept up to the door, kneeling so that he could lean his ear against it.

"Alight," he heard Shawn saying in a too-happy voice. "Who wants to be first?"

"I'll give you 500 for the night," a male voice said, one that Mark realized to be Dave Batista's. He felt a flash of anger, closely followed by sadness.

'I have no idea why Shawn would even want to do this… Maybe he has some kind of weird fetish…' He sighed, brushing his hair back and crouched lower.

"Alright," Shawn's voice continued. "Batista, two nights from now."

"Why not tonight?"

Shawn's laughter. "Because I get him first…and second."

Mark felt himself blushing with anger and embarrassment as he heard general laughter coming from the room.

'So that's what Shawn thinks of me,' he thought, balling his hands into fists. 'I'm nothing more than…' His thoughts were interrupted by another voice.

"I want him after the Animal," the voice demanded. "Or as soon as possible."

'Who the hell…?' 'Taker thought, shaking his head. He didn't know whether to be insulted or flattered that so many people, apparently, found him attractive.

"Alright… I'll put you down for…the night after?"

"Yes, and for three nights," the voice bargained. "2000."

"Sold!" Shawn's voice said happily. "But, Vis, why so long?"

'Vis? Who is…? Wait, Vis as in VISCERA?!' The Undertaker started gagging, glad that he hadn't eaten at all today. 'It was bad enough being in a match with that…and now I have to… Fuck no!'

He almost retched again, shuddering, holding his stomach as he pressed his ear against the door once more. He could hear many voices speaking at once--apparently still bargaining--and could, to his surprise, discern quite a few female voices in the mix.

"Wow," Shawn's voice rang out over the din. "Well over 10,000 so far! Anyone else?"

"I still think I should get a discount."

'Taker's green eyes widened. That was Glen's voice!

"Mother fucker!" he hissed as quietly as possible. "I'll kill him!"

"No discounts," Shawn replied sternly.

"But he's my brother… and I'm getting him after Vis! You know he and Henry are going to…" The Undertaker winced and pulled his ear away, not even wanting to hear the rest. He could imagine what would happen easily enough, and it was making him feel seriously ill.

'I can't do this,' he thought, shaking his head. 'Even for Shawn. I won't … How could he do this to me? Maybe one or two of 'em but there must be at least 10 people in there…' He stood up and began pacing, trying to reason with himself. 'Should I just tell Shawn no? Is this some kind of sick test of my love for him?! I'll never… But, it's probably too late to refuse, because all those guys will kill him if I just say no…' He took a deep breath. 'Okay…maybe I'll just choke them all out when I get to their rooms… Vince won't miss most of them anyway.'

The Undertaker nodded to himself, feeling a bit better, and pressed his ear against the door again. He heard Shawn's voice first.

"Alright, so now we're switching between him being bottom and top so that he can have at least a day to rest, okay?" he announced, with a murmur of agreement from the crowd. Mark wondered if it was even humanly possible to have so much sex.

'I won't be able to wrestle,' he reasoned, thinking he had found a way out. Surely Vince wouldn't let this happen if it was affecting his performance in the ring…

"And, to end the month, you have him for a week, Vince?" The Undertaker winced again at Shawn's words and felt his heart drop to his stomach.

"Will he be a top or bottom with you, Boss?" Shawn enquired.

"Definitely bottom. I can't wait to pound that tight ass right through the mattress!" There were loud cheers of agreement, and before he could stop himself, the Undertaker had kicked open the door, breaking the lock completely, green eyes blazing.

"NOW YOU ALL JUST WAIT ONE FUCKING MINUTE!" he yelled, feeling his anger explode. "I'll have every last one of you bastards know that--"

"Surprise!" everyone in the room yelled, and Mark blinked.

"…What?"

Shawn smiled impishly at him and pointed at the birthday cake on the table.

"Happy Birthday, Baby," HBK said with a laugh, embracing his lover.

Mark's jaw dropped to the floor. "But…you…I…"

"Told you it was a good surprise." He kissed him on the cheek. "And you might not want to kill us, 'cause I already got tickets to the Hughes vs. Gracie match, and rented out the nearest bar for everyone."

The Undertaker felt himself going red to his roots, the tips of his ears burning. He didn't know whether to feel relieved, embarrassed, happy…

"Shit," was all he was able to mutter as he buried his face in Shawn's hair. He glanced around the room, and saw that Viscera wasn't even there, thank God. "How did you plan all of this?"

Shawn chuckled, not wanting to give away his brilliance just yet. "And how did I know you would follow me?" he teased, brushing back a few stray strands of the larger man's black hair. His face became serious as their eyes met.

"I'd never do something like that to you," he whispered, stroking Mark's cheek . "Not even if they begged me for your body. You mean too much to me."

"Dammit, Shawn," he whispered, hugging the man tightly against himself again. "Are you trying to make me cry in front of everyone?"

"Of course not," HBK said innocently, taking a step back. "Now come and eat some cake. It's your birthday, after all, even if you yourself have forgotten."

'Taker nodded, and his eyes fell on Kane, who was grinning from ear to ear. He returned his little brother's smile before taking Shawn's hand.

As a matter of principle, though, he made sure to flip Kane off.

Batista stepped up to congratulate the couple, hugging the birthday man warmly.

"You sounded very convincing," the Undertaker said, shaking his head. Batista laughed.

"That's because I meant it," he said between chuckles, and was met immediately with a slap from 'Taker and a kick to the knee from Shawn.

Kane walked over to look down at the fallen Animal. "That's the spirit--keep trying. You might get lucky one day." He winked. "With enough diligence, I'm sure you can seduce my brother at least once."

Batista smiled up at the Big Red Machine. "You're an asshole… But thanks."

"It's my job," Glen said, striking a Hogan-esque pose. "Didn't you hear? I'm the fucking Cupid of the WWE!"

And that's what happens when several Muses strike at once when you're lying feverishly in bed. Review? I know it wasn't that great, but I swear, it was fun to write. (whispering) I'm so weird...