Absolute Chapter 1, a castle fanfic

Welcome to a new Castle fanfic! This episode is a continuation of the season 7 episode "Reckoning". I loved this episode, because it gave Castle the chance to experience a little of what Kate went through when he disappeared for two months. Of course, the two experiences were completely different in nature, but essentially, both were struggling to find the other the whole time, scared out of their minds.

On this note, I want to say that I will be continuing my other Castle fanfic and my NCIS fanfic. I am happy that I finally have more time to write now, after a few months of not having much time for anything other than school. I hope you enjoy this fanfic, and I will write more chapters. Later I may also include separate chapters that are exclusively Beckett and/or Castle's POV.

P.S. Song lyrics are from the song To Build A Home by The Cinematic Orchestra. Such a beautiful and captivating song.

P.P.S. As always, reviews and constructive criticism are welcome. You are also welcome to leave episode requests and/or changes to storylines, or story prompts from tumblr that you might like to read if I filled.

There is a house built out of stone

Wooden floors, walls and window sills

Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust

This is a place where I don't feel alone

This is a place where I feel at home

The team barged into the room to find Kate with her back turned and Kelly Nieman in a lifeless heap on the floor. "Beckett?" Castle inquired quietly, relieved to see Kate alive, as he slowly walked up behind her, careful not to startle her. He looked down at her left hand, noticing the scalpel she held. Kate slowly turned around and faced him, eyes blank. Rick lifted his hand, softly cupping her cheek, providing comfort and strength in one small, fragile touch. Kate's stiff demeanor melted away as she leaned into his hand before falling forward into his waiting arms. He was here, it was all over now. Castle held on tightly to her, feeding off the warmth her body emitted, willing himself to finally breathe now that she was safe and in his arms.

A few minutes later, Castle and Beckett sat in an ambulance clutching each other's' hands as an EMT asked Kate questions about the injuries she had sustained during her captivity. Beckett hesitated before answering, not really wanting to subject Rick to even more pain. 'I'll keep it simple,' Kate thought, carefully considering what she should say. "She had bound my hands beneath the table I was laying on and hit me a few times." As Kate recounted the events of the last several hours, Castle tensed up, clutching her hand harder in his own, tears forming in his eyes as Kate continued, "Other than that, it was mostly verbal abuse."

The paramedic nodded and smiled softly at her, understanding completely her reluctance to go into detail. Noticing a bruise on her neck, the paramedic tilted her head to the right, which gave her the perfect opportunity to look over at Castle. When she did, she noticed the tears streaming down his face.

"All good," the EMT said, as he gathered his supplies and shook her hand.

"Thank you," Kate said, giving the man a grateful smile before turning back towards Castle. "Rick?" Kate said softly, placing her free hand on his shoulder, "Castle?" She still got no response from him. "Babe, we have to get off, the ambulance is about to leave." Castle still said nothing, but jumped down from the ambulance and reached his hands up to help her down. Kate grabbed his hands in hers and jumped down, wincing from the pain in her joints. As the two of them walked towards a police car, Kate wrapped her arms around his waist, just wanting to be near him, to erase all the bad memories of today, of the last year.

And I built a home

for you

for me

Until it disappeared

from me

from you

And now it's time to leave and turn to dust

An hour or so later, Castle and Beckett left the precinct after giving their statements. When they reached Rick's car, they reluctantly parted hands and got in, ready to finally go home and rest. Castle started up the car and pulled out of the lot, still not saying a word directly to her. Kate reached over with her left hand and stroked up and down his arm, doing her best to comfort her hurting husband. "Babe?" she said quietly, wishing there was some way she could ease his pain. "Castle talk to me." Kate sighed desperately, "I need to know what you are thinking, what you're holding holding back and not saying. I just feel like you are avoiding me." Kate started to tear up, wishing he would say something, anything.

Castle looked over at Kate, noticing her tears. He sighed, "I'm not ignoring you Beckett. I want to get home before we talk about what we just went through. I don't want to start crying so hard that I have to pull over, okay?" He looked over at her again and smiled softly, grabbing her hand in his tightly, before bringing her hand to his lips, placing a tender kiss on a bruise that resided there.

Kate nodded silently in response to his request, then adjusted her sitting position so that she could rest her head on Castle's shoulder. When she did, Rick grunted softly in pain. "Sorry, Castle. I didn't mean to hurt you." Beckett quickly removed her head from his shoulder.

"No, it's okay. Stay. Everything sort of hurts at the moment. I didn't want you to move though. It was nice." Castle released her hand briefly, so that he could tug her close once again, before resuming their hand holding. They remained that way the entire car ride home.

Out in the garden where we planted the seeds

There is a tree as old as me

Branches were sown by the color of green

Ground had arose and passed it's knees

By the cracks of the skin, I climbed to the top

I climbed the tree to see the world

When the gusts came around to blow me down

I held on as tightly as you held onto me

When they arrived at their loft, Kate hesitated at the door. Castle noticed her sudden wariness to go inside. He gripped her hand tightly, knowing why she was nervous and said, "It's okay Beckett, Mother and Alexis are on a plane right now, and I've already left a message for them to go to the house in the Hamptons until tomorrow. They'll get it when they land." Kate looked up at Castle, who smiled reassuringly at her. She took a deep breath as Rick unlocked the front door and ushered her inside.

Looking around, Kate noticed that several things around the apartment were strewn across the floor. "Wha-, what happened here?" Kate inquired, looking over at Castle who was now fixing her a cup of coffee, preparing for the long night ahead.

Castle looked up from his task, "Oh, that. When we were trying to find you, Tyson called to bait me, and it looked like he was calling from in here-"

Kate sucked in a sharp breath, "Tyson was here? In our home?"

"No!" Castle quickly replied, "He made it look like he was. The mess happened when the police barged in here and searched the house for him." Rick looked up once again to see that Kate still looked terrified. He picked up her coffee and walked over to her, setting the coffee down on the table and gathering her into his arms. "Beckett, I promise you, he wasn't in here. Turns out he just routed his phone signal to make it look like he was here, but he was NOT here. Okay?" Kate nodded, burrowing her face into his collarbone. "Its okay, its okay," Castle whispered into her hair, slowly rocking her back and forth. They continued holding each other in the middle of the living room for another minute or two before Rick pulled away gently and handed Kate her coffee. "Why don't you go sit in bed and I'll be there in a minute, I promise." Rick gave her a lingering kiss on the lips before looking deep into her eyes. He brushed her hair away from her face and whispered, "I am so glad you are okay, Kate. So glad. I love you."

Beckett's smile lit up her face as she replied, "I love you too, Castle. Thank you for saving me." They kissed softly for a few seconds, then parted, Kate headed for the bedroom, and Rick for the kitchen to make his own cup of coffee.

As Kate settled into her side of the bed, she sat her coffee down on the nightstand table, and noticed an envelope with her name written on it in Castle's handwriting. Curious, Kate opened the envelope and pulled out the piece of paper that was held within. Unfolding the page, Kate settled into the pillows on the bed, tucking her body beneath the covers, and started to read.

Kate,

These past seven years have been the most beautiful, fulfilling, infuriating and terrifying years of my life, all because of you. You challenge me in every possible way. You make me better, not only as a writer or a father, but as a man. Everything that didn't make sense in my life, became clear when I met you. Seven years ago, you were 15 years deep into your mother's murder, and you had no intention of giving up or quitting. You strove to find her killer, not only for you or justice, but also your dad. You taught me the meaning of true love, of unconditional love.

I am often asked if I fell in love with you through my creation of Nikki Heat, but what people don't know, is that I created Nikki Heat because I fell in love with you. Everything you are is light. Good decisions, bad decisions, it doesn't matter. You carefully calculate every outcome, then chose the path that leads to the most healing and justice. You are the absolute definition of vulnerability and strength. I am honored that you chose to fall in love with me and forever grateful for the chance to love you (which I took without hesitation). And I am in awe of the courage it took for you to let me in, to take down your walls that you had spent years building up.

Right now I'm sitting in our bed, with a cup of coffee, wishing and hoping that we will find you, and that I can read this to you personally one day. The very thought of losing you, sickens me. I put you through hell earlier this year, and I can never apologize enough for that. You had to live without me for two months. You had to eat, sleep, work, laugh, and cry without me. I'm probably just imagining them, but I swear I can see tear stains on my pillow. I understand this is irrational, because tears don't stain, and truth be told they are probably my tears. Also we've washed these sheets since then... I think.

Even though the thought of you not returning kills me inside, if in any way we aren't reunited, and you read this without me, just know that I love you with every fiber in my being. And if I die saving you, know that I would do it all over again a million times. I will forever cherish our time together, whether the end is today, or in 70 years. I love you, Katherine Houghton Beckett. Always.

Rick

Beckett refolded the paper, tears streaming down her face. She clutched the page filled with Rick's tender words to her chest as the sobs started. Castle walked in just then to find Kate in a puddle of tears, holding his letter in her hands. Rick sat down on the bed and pulled Kate into a hug, then shifted over onto his back, with Beckett clinging to his chest, hands shaking. He held on to her tightly, stroking her hair and muttering things along the lines of "I'm sorry love," and "I never meant for you to read that alone." Kate only cried harder at these words, overwhelmed by her love for Castle and his immense love for her.