This is the third list, I still have one more to post, and I'm working on the 5th list as you read! XD
Hope ya laugh lots!
-Emmett'sMunkeyGurl

Disclaimer:I still don't own Twilight... but there may come a time when I do! !!!!

Things Emmett Cant Do

1. Hand out blood pouches from the hospital at Halloween

2. Go to a crowded room and randomally shout "YAOI!"

3. Tell random people to "just keep breathing"

4. Tell everybody that Edward is his bestest buddy!!

5. Declare that he's on Team Aro

6. Declare that the Vampire life just isn't for him anymore so he's going to be a beautiful fairy princess now.

7. Get everyone to vote Edward out of the coven

8. Change his name to Paul Fredrickson

9. Dye his hair Hot Pink (using Manic Panic)

10. Have a (very late) funeral for himself, sit in a coffin, and force everyone to say something nice about him

11. Hide under a little kids' bed, wait until they're asleep, then in the middle of the night jump out and say "Rawr! I'm a scary monster!"

12. Hide in Jasper's closet and do the same thing

13. Spend 3 hours baking a cake and throw a tantrum when know one will eat it

14. say "es muy, muy pequeno?" randomly during conversations

15. Say that no one appreciates him so he's going to join a different coven

16. create his own language which is the same as english except every word starts with the letter "K"

17. Write a FanFic where he and Bella end up together(my frieend made me put this one on! I fully support EmmettXBella Fanfic's! I wrote one and posted it!)

18. Become a ballerina

19. Say his real name is "Herbert the Penguin"

20. Invade Nevada with an army of muffins

21. Have a "Yo Mama" joke war with Carlisle

22. pretend to be a statue

23. run for President

24. Become a mime

25. Pretend he's a fighter pilot and run around the living room with sound effects ("Pew, pew! Bang! You'll never get ME ya Japs!"-Emmett)

26. Paint himself pink and act like a flamingo

27. Paint Alice's Porsche periwinkle

28. Paint the house bright yellow

29. Go into the woods dressed like Big Foot and purposely get seen by tourists

30. Explain to Edward and Bella the importance of Birth Control

31. Make a huge fort in the middle of the living room and refuse to let anyone touch it

32. Block the front door and make anyone who wants to get it give him the password

33. Become an L fangirl

34. get an army of cats and attempt to teach them how to sail a submarine

35. become a pirate and steal a historical pirate ship

36. Get a job as an AVON lady

37. join Team Jacob because "Jacob and Bella just belong together"

38. Tell Edward what happens in Breaking Dawn

39. Have a debate with a potato about the war in Iraq

40. follow Aro around 'cause they're "BFF's"

41. Try to get Rosalie jelous by kissing Jane

42. Teach a middle school health class

43. teach a middle school math class

44. teach a middle school gym class

45. Become a "Victoria's Secret" Model

46. Dress up like Santa and give kids "Edward Dolls"

47. Go anywhere near Santa on Christmas

48. Go anywhere near Jack Skellington on Halloween

49. Read YAOI

50. Direct YAOI

"Okay, now I'm absolutly positive that's all of them." Alice said putting the third list next to it's predessessors.
"You said that both of the other times" Rosalie pointed out (un)helpfully.
"What's YAOI?" I asked, trying to steer clear of a fight.
"Uh... Young Athelets On Ice, yeah let's go with that..." Alice replied looking away and snickering.
"AUGHHHHHHHHHHH! MY WEINIE IS BURNING! I REPEAT! MY WEINIE IS BURNING!!!!!!!" Emmett yelled as he ran down the stairs from the bathroom.
"MY EYES!!" I screamed covering my face with a pillow.
Rosalie sprinted after Emmett and Alice went back to the list.

51. Take a bath(or shower) in hot fudge

Under this Author's Note there is a signature, and under that signature there is a little green button that says "Review" PUSH IT!!

~Emmett'sMunkeyGurl~