Happy Birthday Amy (XxrandomxX), this is dedicated to you…
Disclaimer: Own, I do not.
Summary: Roxanne/Scorpius - she may have his heart but you have the body and the mind and that's all that really matters.
maybe she knows it
Roxanne/Scorpius
These aren't the old days but they aren't too different from them either. There's still this prejudice that sickens you and all of this lovehate that seems to be so popular at the moment it makes to want to throw up. Everything is messed up, with exception of the simpler things in life but then again, even those seem to be starting to fall to the stupid and idiotic ways of your generation.
There's these things that are acceptable, that are expected now. It's expected that you're going to attempt to steal your family's lovers and boyfriends and husbands for yourself because that's what you do and that's what families do. What else are families good for, after all, except for stabbing each other in the heart where it hurts to most. There's no stabbing in the back, because everything is out in the open and the gossip mill continually spins with the fuel that you and the others provide.
It was expected that you would try and steal him, that you would attempt to claim him as your own. But the people, your family, don't know that he was yours to start with and she may have his heart but you have the body and the mind and that's all that really matters. She's going stab you in the front and you're not going let her because you might (actually) sort of love him and you're not weak like that and know that they're probably actually better off together then you are with him.
They're the perfect couple, or at least everyone says they are. They're opposites that attract and you're just one of the same. You're both devious and incapable of letting people have their way. You love to hate and hate to love and really just want people to accept you for who you are and not who your family is (or was). You want your own name and your own ways and people to actually show a little respect now and then.
"I hate it," he says, "that I like you so much."
"I love it," you reply, "that you hate that you like me so much."
"We're as confusing as each other," he sighs. "Maybe that's what makes us so great together."
"But," you intervene, "you don't love me and I don't think that I can tell you that I love you so there's really no point for us to be together."
"You're trying to break this off," he points out, brushing a strand of black hair from you face. "You know this is going to end badly and you're trying to protect yourself."
That is the matter at hand and then there's also her. You'll come out on the wrong end, after all, when he decides that she's The One and you were just another fling. He'll be off living his happily ever after and you'll be left to find somebody else, somebody better.
(though there could never be anybody better then him)
"I'll come out on the wrong end when your chose her and everything will come crashing down on top of me and they'll be nobody to pick up the pieces."
"So it's the end then?"
"Yes," you breathe, though you regret as much as you possibly can.
You may not have crashed and burned when it came to him but she sure as hell did. On the inside you're crying out in joy and on the outside you're trying to regain your composure because it's far too early, and not to mention wrong, to be holding a celebratory party when your cousin is crying her heart out in her dorm room over her lost love.
(but then again you've also been into wrong)
Scorpius Malfoy is officially free of her clutches and you are free of everybody's. It seems perfect and right and maybe you were supposed to be together after all. You don't confront him before school break off because he's nowhere to be seen and everybody's keeping an eye out for him which makes it very impossible to jump him in a broom cupboard like you really, really want.
When summer holiday's roll round you hear that he's at the Leaky Cauldron and decide that he needs you company and love more then anything else in the world. Somebody beat you too it though and as you stand in the shadows as they come out of the pub you realise something. There are other girls out there that, girls that are like you and him, that he might want and there's other boys out there that might want you.
"There are other fish in the sea," Fred says when she comes home that night, looking forlorn and slightly depressed. "So whatever guy you're pining after isn't really worth it. You're probably too good for him anyway."
He's your brother and he's supposed to say that and you think that if he knew that it was Scorpius Malfoy that she wanted, who was currently with Lily Potter to get over Rose Weasley, then he'd probably be more vicious towards his advice.
Roxie,
Meet me at our spot.
Please.
SM
The letter comes a month later when you're (for once) hanging out with Lily. She knows that it's his owl and shrugs. "I only slept with him," she tells you, "because I thought that I loved him. I don't, really, and never can."
"He was just a fling then?"
"Nothing more," she replies honestly and for once you actually believe the words that have left Lily Luna Potter's mouth.
The spot in secluded and unknown and situated around Hogsmeade. You found it with him when you first went to Hogsmeade together and ever since (after buying Honeydukes) you'd just gone there to relax. You thought that once you ended to relationship that you'd never return to the spot and it would be forever lost and forever in the memories of you and not him.
He'd there already, dressed casually and standing with his hands in his pockets, leaning against the tree that you once carved your names into. You don't say anything because you know that he feels your presence and he'll say something eventually.
"I love you."
The words are shocking and heartfelt and your heart is beating so fast because you expected him to say anything but those three words. "You can't," you choke out because his heart has always belong to Rose and you had only owned to body and the mind for a short period of time.
"Don't tell me how I feel," he spits, turning around suddenly.
"I know you, Scorpius. You can only ever love Rose."
"No." It's all he says before he takes a step closer. You hold your ground because you're not afraid of anything, especially him. He takes another step and closes in on you. He goes to brush that strand of hair away and you dodge because he lost that right when he utter I love you. The words are dangerous and unacceptable because it's expected that he won't love her and unacceptable to love anyone but Rose.
"I -" you stutter before cursing yourself internally.
(Roxanne Weasley never stutters)
"Just give in," he coos, "it's always been you."
Maybe you knew it all along that he loved you and that she was just a thing and that he was really just giving you space to breath and think and live. But you never wanted space for any of those things and from the first moment you were together all you wanted was to breath and think and live him and nothing else. You still haven't said those words and you don't think you ever will. But you know that he loves you.
And you're sure that he knows that you love him too.