SUMMARY: Naruto's having a sleepover! It's his first one so he's gotten all over-excited and invited EVERYONE! Nothing is out of the question. Crack fic.

AN: Kohona's ninja are quite OOC here, so I apologise in advance, but it's a sleepover so we get to see everyone's 'true colours', ne?

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto ... *weeps silently in corner*

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CHAPTER 1: EIGHT O'CLOCK SHARP!

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Knock knock knock ...

'Yeah, hold on a minute!'

It was nearing eight o'clock in the evening and Naruto was sat cross-legged on his bed in his apartment. He was doing up the buttons to his violent-orange coloured pyjamas imprinted with cute yellow ducks. The image was not yet perfect, however, without the addition of his hat. He placed the buck-toothed thing on his blonde head and grinned.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!

'Coming! I'm coming!'

He leapt from his bed and bounded for the door.

'Just a min—'

KNOCKKNOCKKNOCKBANG!

Naruto's front door was thrown open, the wood breaking clean from the hinges. It clattered in a cloud of dust to the floor.

'You should know better than to keep ninja waiting,' came Sasuke's voice.

'Sasuke?!' cried Naruto, waving at the dust to try and see through it. 'You just said the longest sentence you've said in like ... ever!'

'Hn!' Sasuke was growling like an impatient animal, and as he stepped into Naruto's room, his arms folded tightly over his pyjamad-chest, the blonde could see why.

'Why are you ...?' Naruto began.

Kiba, Akamaru, Choji and Shikamaru followed him in, carrying an array of sleeping bags, boxes of microwave popcorn, bags of chewy sweets, all dressed in their own unique pyjamas that seemed to suit their personalities as well as their day-clothes did. All hitai-ates were absent, and each of them looked surprisingly different in such a casual and off-hand manner – Choji's hair was a mass of sandy brown; Kiba's was not brushed at all; and Shikamaru's looked suspiciously as if someone had tried to yank out his hair-tie, only to be apprehended half-way through.

Sasuke's pyjamas were pink. His bangs hung in his face more than usual, as if he were trying to hide some kind of blush behind them. Yes, his pajamas were pink and the mischievous look on Naruto's face said it all. They were pink with little purple hearts on.

'Looks like a princess...' Naruto sniggered.

'What dobe?' Sasuke seethed. 'Stop staring at me!'

'Considering you just totally broke down my door, I want payment!'

'In your dreams!'

'I'll call it later – you owe me.'

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

'Uh, Naruto, what have you done?!'

Kiba had only just looked around at Naruto's room and noticed the odd way in which it was decorated.

There were multi-coloured streamers hanging from the ceilings and draped over everything from shelves to lights to chairs, and balloons drifted around aimlessly. The dust settled on everything.

'It doesn't look like he's done anything out of the ordinary ...' said Shikamaru, gazing lazily around too. '... this IS Naruto we're talking about.'

'So guys whaddya think?!' Naruto put his hands behind his head like he usually did when he was proud of something. 'It's my first time so I really wanted to impress you – I wanted to show you how much I was looking forward to doing it with you! And how much—'

Just then they all heard a deafening crash and turned to see what had happened.

Choji was on the floor, having tripped on a balloon, and knocked over the table and everything on it. In turn, the table knocked the chair which knocked the plant pot which knocked the shelf which sent bottles of sauce rolling all over the floor.

'I'M SORRY!' Choji shouted into the floor.

'Don't worry about it, Choji,' said Shikamaru, who sat down cross-legged next to his fallen friend. He patted Choji on the back. 'Hey, Kiba, why don't you make some popcorn? I'm starving!'

'Mmmhhh ... barbeque flavoured?'

Akamaru yapped happily at the idea. Kiba frowned. 'Alright Mother. And what would you like your popcorn to be – salty ... sweet ... or buttery?' Kiba asked, his voice high, silky and alluring.

Shikamaru threw at him a bottle of butterscotch-sauce, which Kiba just about managed to dodge, and the bottle went flying with perfect symmetry right through the front door (or gap) and over the apartment balcony.

'I'll get that later ...' he muttered, lying down as if to sleep.

Despite his protest Kiba went to make popcorn.

Naruto and Sasuke, on the other hand, were now occupied in a fully-blown argument about how washing machines do and do not dye blue pajamas pink.

'It was red underwear!' the Uchiha stressed.

'Not buying it!' said Naruto obstinately. He and Sasuke were nose to nose. 'Red underwear does not dye a whole load THAT BRIGHT! It's hurting my eyes!'

'It's not as though I had time to buy any more! I didn't even want to come to this stupid sleepover anyway!'

'Wait, you wear red underwear? Interesting.'

Suddenly three newcomers arrived in The Front Gap, barging into Naruto's apartment with Olympic enthusiasm – well, two of them were. Tenten and Ino had grins on their faces from ear to ear. Hinata, however, was being timid as per usual but entered looking irresistible in her pajamas. They weren't buttoned or sleeved like most of the others. Hers were checked shorts that looked as if they were some kind of boyfriend's boxers, and she had on a tight white vest top that exposed a little of her midriff.

'Sasuke-kun is going to be here~! Eeeeeeek!' Ino sang, her hands held at her heart.

In the ruckus that was their entrance, Naruto and Sasuke faltered, which more precisely means that Sasuke fell backwards and landed on his bottom, and Naruto stumbled forwards too in an overly-elaborate manner. The two boys, who still had each other locked in death-glares, were unable to avoid falling face-on-face. For the second time in their hopelessly traumatic childhoods their lips locked. Of course. Sasuke's and Naruto's eyes went wide in a kind of panicky way, and this was the view of which the three girls laid their eyes on on arrival.

Shikamaru, Kiba and Choji were otherwise occupied and utterly oblivious. With Akamaru on his shoulder, Kiba had started signing – badly. Choji and Shikamaru were lying down, chatting quietly. By the looks of things, especially from the point of view of anyone who happened to just have walked in, it looked as if Konoha's Yaio Fest had officially begun and Naruto and Sasuke were at the lead.

Ino was torn between rage at Naruto and a melting-like sensation at seeing one incredibly hot boy, in her opinion, and one not-so-bad boy doing things she daydreamed of. She then did the only thing she was capable of – she stared.

Tenten stared too, but for confused reasons – she didn't quite know what to make of anything, but her fangirl bells were ringing regardless. Hinata looked shell-shocked at the idea that Sasuke, of all people, was going to take her Naruto away.

Sasuke shoved Naruto off, and the blonde landed with a heavy thud on the floor beside Sasuke. The raven-haired boy coughed and wiped his mouth, while the blonde made a show of choking, clawing at his throat.

'The poison the poison!' Naruto rasped.

'You taste of ramen you disgusting freak!'

Ino shook her head. Tenten dropped her armload of things right in a clear place on the floor, and begun laying out her yellow sleeping bag, saying 'hi' to Shikamaru and Choji.

'Oi, Naruto, way to go,' said Ino. 'I like the decorations! You've remembered Hinata's birthday!'

Hinata stood behind her, blushing furiously. 'I-I-I-!'

'Huh?' Naruto's face was confusion.

Kiba kicked him discreetly in the back as he passed with a heaving bowl of hot popcorn.

'OW! Oh! Er. Happy Birthday!' Naruto exclaimed. 'I guess ...'

Ino went to join the others, laying out her own green sleeping bag.

'Th-Th-Th-Thank you – N-N-N-Naruto!' she gasped, then fell to the floor.

'Right, now that we're all here—'

'—But we're NOT all here,' said Kiba, 'what about Shino?'

'Who? Don't interrupt! As I was saying, now that we're all here I HAVE A GAME!' He said it with such deadly insanity that everyone in the room turned their head to look at him.

'And Naruto's officially gone crazy,' said Choji in-between a mouthful of popcorn.

'GAME! GAME! GAME!' Naruto declared, rummaging around the room for something. He reached the bed, on which Hinata was just awakening. Naruto looked under the bed, around the bed, beneath the headboard, and eventually was leaning right over the pale-eyed girl in a very personal way.

'Hinata ...' he breathed, a hand reaching to her side.

'Naruto...'

'FOUND IT! GAME! GAME!' Naruto withdrew from beneath Hinata a brilliantly decorated bottle that she had been lying on. He looked as if he had put all of his effort into making it. It looked like it had a kunai in (somehow) to weight it down, and was covered in colourful streamers and stickers.

'GAME!'

'What is that?' asked Sasuke.

'It looks like spin the bottle ...' Shikamaru said uncertainly.

Ino snorted.

'It's ...' Here, Naruto stood in the centre of the room with his hands on his hips, the ridiculous bottle in one. '... Truth or Dare.'

Everyone audibly gasped. Except Choji, who choked a little.

'What have I got myself into?' Tenten thought aloud.

'Here are the rules so listen up! Whoever the bottle points to at the end of a spin has to choose a 'Truth' or a 'Dare' and the person who spun the bottle gets to decide what truth or dare for them to do. Anything goes. Oh – and if you don't tell the truth or do the dare, you will have to suffer the consequences!'

By this time Hinata had got up and come to sit feebly in between Ino and Kiba, looking a little dazed. Kiba smirked dog-like behind her back. Kiba was next to Choji, who was next to Shikamaru, who Sasuke was standing somewhat by. They were almost in a circle.

Naruto sat down next to Tenten, and plonked the bottle on the floor in the middle of them. They all stared at it unspeaking.

Sasuke was about to sit down, but then changed his mind when he realised that the only open space was next to the blonde with the childish hat on, and so made his way to the other side of the room and intruded between Ino and Hinata. Ino – in a flattered blush-filled stupor, moved willingly to allow him space enough by nearly pushing Tenten over.

'The consequences are being locked in a cupboard for three minutes with the person who spun the bottle.'

Now they were in a reasonable circle, despite the pushing and squabbling and occasional passing of the popcorn – and Naruto spun the bottle.

'Hey!' Kiba barked. 'Who said you get to spin it first?'

'It's my sleepover!'

'But it's Hinata's birthday!'

'N-No I don't m-m-m-mind!'

The bottle was slowing down ...

'Where's Sakura?' Sasuke wondered aloud.

'You actually care?' Ino asked, amazed. "Inner Ino": What about ME?

'It's not like her to miss out,' drawled Shikamaru.

... It was passing snail-paced from Kiba to Hinata ...

And landed on Sasuke.

Sasuke groaned. Ino screeched and puckered. Everyone else looked on expectantly between Naruto and Sasuke.

'Truth or Dare?'

'Truth.'

The blonde was pulling a distorted expression that suggested he was thinking hard, and Sasuke looked ready to kill.

'Okay, I've got it!' said Naruto after a while.

'What is is dobe?' asked Sasuke through gritted teeth.

'Who do you like like?'

The room broke out in impressed noise-making. Kiba 'Ooooo!'ed and Ino gasped, fluttering her eyelashes.

'You have to give us a name,' continued Naruto, then he shut up, waiting.

Sasuke sat incredibly still and straight, and everyone could see that slight blush that had crept into his cheeks.

'You won't know them,' said Sasuke.

'Don't care,' countered Naruto. 'Name!'

'I-I-can't!' Sasuke burst out.

'It's just a name – come on, you can get anyone you want!'

'No!'

'Is that a refusal?' Tenten asked, excited.

'Sounds like it,' confirmed Choji.

Shikamaru stood up. 'I think that means you two need some quality time in a secret place ...'

Before either Naruto or Sasuke could do much to help it, they were pulled up – Kiba had Naruto by the arms from behind and Choji had Sasuke in a bear-hug that rendered them both unable to fight back. With much noise and aggression they were somehow shut in the cupboard.

The last precious hope Sasuke and Naruto saw was Shikamaru's face as he closed the door on them and, by the sounds of it, Choji then sat in front of it to make sure they couldn't get back out.

'Three minutes starts now!' he called over the loud banging that was Naruto trying to knock the door down. They could hear Choji chuckling.

Naruto, being Naruto, had a cupboard that barely had space for air let alone two people. Sasuke had been stuffed in first and Naruto afterwards.

'This wasn't supposed to happen!'

'Ow, there's something stabbing me in the spine,' Sasuke moaned.

'That's probably my broom,' said Naruto, his fists against the wood.

'Would you at least turn around so that you're ass is not in my...!' Sasuke cleared his throat.

Naruto burst out laughing. This only made matters worse for Sasuke, who tried to move but ended up dislodging some precariously balanced items that came crashing down onto them both. They then climbed on top of a load of random debris on the floor – it must have sounded like an earthquake outside because their ears were ringing.

'It was a simple question!' shouted Naruto, shoving Sasuke in the chest.

'You're so loud!' Sasuke shouted back, shoving Naruto. 'I hate you!'

'It was simple, you could have answered it and got it over with! Hell, even if you had said Sakura that would have been okay!'

'It's not Sakura. Just shut up dobe! Three minutes isn't that long. We'll wait it out.'

At that precise moment, a large black spider spun down on a string on web and stopped right in front of Naruto's face.

'Thank you,' the Uchiha said sarcastically.

'Uuuuhh ... S-S-Sasuke?' Naruto's voice cracked.

'What?' he snapped.

'There's a spider,' breathed Naruto. 'I-I-It's on m-my fa-fa-face ... '

Sasuke picked up a random item which he quickly realised was a damp mop. He started whacking the blonde over with it, and Naruto was trying to turn around so as the mop could get at his face. Moving, of course, caused more things to start crashing around them. The two boys began shouting at one another in a completely garbled form of conversation that made less sense to them than it did to those listening interestedly on the other side of the cupboard door.

The only things that they could make out were random snippets:

'—my cheek—that was all wet!—AAAH!'

'—HUGE!—HOLD STILL YOU DOBE!—'

'—QUICKER!! HARDER!! FASTER!!—'

'—HOLD STILL!—I'M CHOKING!—'

'UUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!'

'Times up,' said Shikamaru.

Choji rolled out of the way and the door burst open.

A tangle of orange and pink limbs fell out and lay on the floor, surrounded by nondescript items that Naruto probably didn't remember owning. The mop had incidentally been left behind and both boys appeared to be covered in a sheen of sweat, damp hair all over their faces, both panting intensely. Some of their buttons had been ripped off and Naruto's pyjama bottoms were somehow around his ankles, his ramen-patterned boxers revealed for the entire world to see.

'Well that wasn't so bad was it?' Shikamaru asked, his hands on his waist as he bent over them.

Naruto was choking from the spider he had swallowed. Sasuke had given up trying to do anything and was lying with his eyes closed, concentrating on breathing.

'Ooh, Sasuke-kun!' wailed Ino. 'Naruto get off of him!'

'Sasuke—Sasuke—' Naruto said, trying to stand up. Shikamaru held a hand down for him, which he took, and was lifted to his feet. Naruto prodded Sasuke in the side and the Uchiha slowly got up too. 'It's your turn now, you get to spin.'

Sasuke's eyes seemed to light up at the possibility.

Soon everyone was back where they had previously been and the bottle was yet again spinning – violently, madly, brutally – in the centre. Sasuke was on rampage and everyone was wary of his wrath.

The bottle passed everyone at least five times before it began to slow down. It passed Kiba ... Choji ... Shikamaru ... then slowed further at Naruto ...

The bottle passed Tenten ... Ino ... Sasuke himself ... Hinata ... Choji ... and then it stopped.

It wasn't pointing at anyone – it was pointing to the gap in-between Choji and Shikamaru, completely clean of them both – pointing straight at Naruto's busted front door. A gale of wind burst through and they all stared, suddenly and strangely expectant.

'Sorry we are late!' came a voice. 'We were caught up in our Youthful Tendencies!'

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AN: Yaaaayy! First chapter done! Whew, this one's long! I have a plan – I want there to be 13 chapters, one for each hour, but whatever, I'll see what happens. If you have any ideas for dares then I'd be more than happy to hear them!