OSMOSIS JONES: THRAX'S DIARY
Note from the author: if you are about to read this, or you already read it and then came back to find this note, I want to say thank you for at least taking you're time in being somewhat interested in this monologue by opening up this up; also, please excuse my terrible grammar
*Each day does not count as the day after each other; it counts as each day Thrax's writes in his diary*
Day 1: Dear diary,
Or at least that what some people say. I got this awesome diary from body I'm in right now. I find that working by myself can be quite lonesome, so I took this diary to write down my thoughts. I technically stole this diary since a red blood cell running the store, freaked out when he realized that I was a virus, a badass deadly virus! As usual, I just killed him by blowing up the place in flames. I really got the hang of killing innocent cells that get in my way, especially white blood cells!
Day 2: Dear diary,
Hahaha (evil laugh), I finally killed the human body! It was an innocent girl who did not like washing her hands, which gave me easy entrance to her body. It took me forever since it was my first kill. I realized though, I couldn't do this by myself! I just needed stupid germs to follow along with my plans. It became easy as hell when you use people to for your own good! This body was still at a young age of development which created this mission to become a lot easier! Haha half of these immunity cells didn't even know what they were doing when they were trying to save the poor city. I'm glad I got out of there when I could! It was my first time getting sneezed out of the body because trust me, I did not want to go out the other way!
Day 3: Dear Diary,
I really enjoy killing people but I just hate the time it takes me to do so. The time needs to go faster so I decided that I will set a time in way where I can kill each human faster than the last human I killed! It took me about three weeks flat to kill this girl, but I will be faster the next time!
Day 4: Dear Diary,
Muhaha! I killed another city, aka human body, in a shorter period of time. This fella took me only 36 hours! Try that one Tuberculosis!
Day 5: Dear Diary,
I have entered another human body in which from the looks of it, this human will be a piece of cake to kill! I mean from the looks of the body entering through the mouth, I can already tell that this body is very unhealthy. His mouth is filthy! Well off to kill the City of Frank!
Day 6: Dear Dairy,
Man are germs stupid as hell! The leader of the stupid pact thought he could just kill me off the back but I killed in one slash! After that haha, his stupid followers looked scared as hell! Haha! It's good to be bad!
Day 7: Dear Dairy,
Yo during the process of giving, what's his name? Oh yea Frank. Anyway, while trying to blow up his nose with mucus, one of my germ slave found an immunity cell and a pill standing outside the nose building. I mean what the hell were they doing out there by themselves!? It looked like they were just talking. I decided to easily wipe them out, especially the immunity cell! I hate white blood cells!
Day 8: Dear Diary,
Hahaha! Apparently, my stuffy nose plan worked and caused the pill and that stupid, no good white blood cell to be on the front page of the paper. Haha! This will defiantly make the whole city think that they defeated a common cold. But let's just say that if the pill and the cell get in my way, they will burn!
Day 9: Dear Dairy,
Ha! I can't even explain what I feel right now! Should I be angry that the same white blood cell, who I found out is named Jones, and the same pill completely defeated my secret plan to destroy Frank! Hehe, this is the first time an immunity cell has finally figured out my whole plan but the best part is, the whole city doesn't believe him! Hahaha! This is just too funny! I can taste the victory of destroying this body with every little cells burning to death! It's too sad that I can't stay and watch them all die. I know I have to get out of the body fast before it completely burns. Well, now I can stick to the original plan with no problems; it's just too bad I have only two of my goons to help me with the plan. I could have gone a lot faster with the plan if it wasn't for that stupid white blood cell Jones!
*Note: If you saw the movie, you already know what happens after all of this*