Extremely long Authors Note: Please read it

Okay all, it has been quite awhile since I have updated on this, and if I'm being truly honest, this is the first time I have even spared it a glance in months. Why the sudden interest again? Well, actually I was going through some old notebooks and I found the original outline I had for it. After that I just had to go back and take a look. I really did want to finish this when I first started, and I really don't remember why I stopped, but after looking at what I had, I was shocked. I didn't even remember having as much as I did done. And what's more, I was utterly surprised when I finished reading it. I was like, did I really write this? No, I couldn't possibly have. But all joking aside, I felt it was time to finish what I started, and this will be the product. I hope you like it, and I hope you don't think I'm a total flake for bailing for so long. So yeah, read, enjoy, relax. Have a cookie! Ha ha it's good to be back

Summary- Jude finally makes her decision. But before she can move on and be with the one she loves, she has to tell the man she's leaving behind. Can she make him understand that it's for the best?

Disclaimer-Don't own anything.

Chapter 1:Making it better

'Breathe,' she told herself, 'In and out, in and out.'

She repeated this mantra over and over again . She was nervous and scared, but she was in love, so this had to be done.

'But how?' she thought, 'How can I crush one man to be with another? How can one consciously break someones heart like that, how can i break his heart like that.'

She didn't want to have to hurt him, but she couldn't keep stringing him along when her heart belonged to another. 'Breathe,' she would tell herself, 'just breathe.'

Over and over again.

She finally reached her destination, climbing out of her car. She starred desolately at the stair leading up towards the door; leading her towards more hurt. She took two steps at at time, silently praying this would go well.

Five steps...

Three...

One step.

Finally when there was no steps left she made her way over to the door, absently raising her hand to knock. As she was about to make contact with her fist, her movements stopped; fear taking over her every cell.

"I can't do this. I can't see him crushed like that, not after all that's happened." she whispered glumly.

'You have too Jude.' said the rational part of her brain. 'You don't love him. You could never make him happy, nor him you.'

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she raised her hand once again, this time successfully making contact with the door. Leaving a resounding echo ringing through her ears.

Then she waited.

Three seconds...

five...

ten seconds...

Then he was there, standing right in front of her, A joyous smile spreading across his face.

And then she was in his arms. Being wrapped in a warm embrace, while he breathed her in.

"Jude." he sighed, taking a ragged breath.

'Oh my dear God, how am I going to do this?' she questioned herself silently.

'You knew it wasn't going to be easy' spoke the logical part of her brain.

"C'mon in. It's freezing out here, eh?" he chuckled.

And then she was inside. And he shut the door.

'And it begins' she thought.

Jude continued through the entry way expertly, knowing every twist and turn to the house, and making her way towards the living room; It was the same as she remembered. As she inched her way in, memories bombarded her mind, filling every crevice to the brink. His familiar face suddenly came into her mind. Smiling, laughing, frowning, she found herself suddenly rethinking her choice.

'No, Jude', she scolded herself, 'There is no time for second guessing.'

Though she had told herself this, she couldn't help but think about it. The difference it would make to her life, if she were to chose differently. The things she would miss and/or gain by choosing the other. All these thoughts were nagging at the indecision she all of a sudden felt, drawing out the confusion she thought was long gone.

"Jude," his voice bringing her out of her stupor, "Are you alright?"

She stiffened as his voice flowed around her. For a moment she had forgotten were she was. How? She had know idea, since her thoughts were consumed with memories of him.

Taking in a calming breathe, she turned slowly to meet his gaze, only to find him not one foot away. She yelped, stumbling back a step, momentarily surprised by his close proximity. Her breath was haggard and coming out in short spurts, while her eyes had slipped closed. She tried her best to calm her overly frazzled nerves, and slowly reopened her eyes, finding him gazing at her with an amused expression glued to his face.

"A little jumpy there, are we?" he chuckled, a grin stretching upon his lips.

"Well jeez, you scared me half to death. Since when did you become so sneaky?" she replied smoothly, having regained her breath. "It's that stalker training coming in handy, isn't it?" she chided.

He apparently didn't find this to amusing, for the playful smile that once sat nicely on his lips, slipped into a forlorn grimace. She looked at him questioningly, awaiting his reply when realization dawned on her. Flashes of Hunter raced through her mind, and she immediately started to backtrack. Though, before she could continue, he waved a dismissing hand, before responding with a 'no problem'.

With the playful mood now gone, they resolved to sit down on the couch, facing one another silently. Never had it been so awkward between the two, and the silence was well on it's way to becoming painful. With all the courage she could muster, she began to speak, only to be cut off with a question that threw her back.

"Why did you come here, Jude? Not that I'm not happy that your here, but I thought for sure you would have picked him." he said, somewhat bitterly.

"I, uh, I came here because, I...I had to, uh, talk to you." she sputtered. Her nerves had just been kicked into overdrive, and her heart had started beating wildly in her chest.

"About what?" he pressed. When he received no answer in reply, he immediately knew what she had wanted to talk about. Shaking his head sadly, he stood from the couch, taking a few steps away from her. "You chose him, didn't you?" he asked slowly, his back to her.

Still he got no answer from her. Sighing, he turned around to face her again, his face now contorted into a steely expression. When his gaze locked onto her figure, he could see her faintly shaking. Though he could not see her face, he was sure that she was crying.

And as if she could feel his gaze, she looked up straight into his eyes. Her face was blotchy, and her nose was already turning an unpleasant red color. But worst of all, she had a steady stream of tears gliding down her cheeks. His resolve all but melted away and his face softened. He went to sit back next to her, all the while continuing to keep steady eye contact.

She had not expected that. Although his words were not angry, she could hear the traces of sadness and pain that she knew she tried so hard to squash. His feigning indifference caused her heart to ache. He never was good at hiding his emotions from her...when she wasn't being oblivious, that is. It was his eyes. His ever expressive eyes that told her everything she needed to know. And as she held his gaze, she could see everything he wanted to she from her. All his hurt, all his fear, all the angry words that she was sure that he wanted to say. They were in his eyes, slowly clouding them over like a fog that could not be swept away. Conspicuous in the most inconspicuous way.

They once again lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, and again all she wanted to do was run away. To hide from the unavoidable hurt that was slowly engulfing them both. When she saw he would make no move to innitiate the conversation, she quickly racked her brain for the words that would make everything better. At the moment though, her brain failed her and she couldn't have felt more stupid.

"I'm sorry," she said lamely, though her sincerity was not lost on him. Her voice was harsh and rough from the tears. She cleared her dry throat and tried again. "I'm so, so sorry."

It was as if he hadn't heard her at all, as he sat there unblinkingly, starring dully into the space in front of him. If it wasn't for the steady rise and fll of his chest, she would have mistaken him for a statue. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he turned his head to look at her. The fog that had once clouded over his eyes was gone, now replaced with a sad understanding. He realized quickly that he had known all along. He would not win.

The boy next door never does.