"Come on baby, come to bed. Weren't you and Leslie going to fire some old people tomorrow?"
She sat up straighter, adjusting herself before turning to face him "Help them get part-time jobs?" She answered flatly, shoving her phone in her pocket.
"Even cooler! Hey! How was brunch?"
"Goodnight."
"April wait. Is something wrong? Because you're doing the thing you do when something's wrong."
"It's fine. I'm tired. Goodnight." Without another word, she pushed past him, and went about her nightly routine. After everything was settled, April climbed into their bed. She slid her phone out of her pocket, clicking the lock button. Her face glowed momentarily, before she slammed the phone facedown on the nightstand. Making a mental note to change the screensaver in the morning, she pulled the covers up to her chin. It shouldn't bother her this much. She was old and lame and loved her job, so why did she care so much?
"Hey babe? I think Leslie just pulled up." Andy's voice echoed down the hall.
"I'm asleep!"
"Okay so should I just tell her that you just told me you were asleep?"
April grumbled aloud. Of course she's going to show up right after I get comfortable. Leslie was literally the last person she wanted to talk to right now. Never in her life did she imagine that she'd be compared to her. Let alone be told that she wasn't "as good as Ann". It was disgusting.
"Hi Leslie! Sorry, April just told me that she was asleep." She heard Andy relay.
"Oh? Well I brought over some chocolate and a pinwheel that I found in some of Chris' old things, and I thought 'you know, Andy Dwyer needs to have these!'"
"Cool Leslie! Thanks so much! April's in the bedroom in the back if you wanna talk to her."
"Andy!" April shouted, exasperated, from beneath the covers.
"Hi April!" The chipper-ness dripped off of her voice as she entered. "Are you busy?"
"I'm having sex with my husband, leave."
"April..."
"You've got the wrong house, Satan isn't here."
"I came to see you! I thought we could give galentines day another shot?"
"Okay so are Donna and Shauna and that weird girl going to show up at my house too? Oh did you invite the antichrist too?! Fun!"
"No, it's just you and me, if that's okay. I brought some stuff." April felt the weight of the bed shift, it was either a really large bag, or Leslie was getting into the bed with her.
With her, it could be either one.
"I've got a Norwegian death reggae CD, some alcohol, and chocolate in the shapes of different bones. I also brought some voodoo dolls that Tom told me you liked? If you'd come out from under the blankets you'd see that I've got a Larry one, a Donna one and a..." she paused. "An Ann one."
April pulled the blanket down slightly. "Leave the alcohol and the voodoo dolls."
"April. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that brunch today. It was cruel and mean and I never should compare you, or anyone else to Ann."
"Because Ann is so perfect and flawless and beautiful and wonderful and ethnic and perfect, right?" She was sitting up now, looking very pointedly at the wall. She wasn't just going to hand her forgiveness away over some cornhusk dolls and strong liquor.
"Yes. No, wait. That's not it. Ann isn't here anymore. I need to move on. You are such a bright, wonderful young woman with a strong future ahead of you that I couldn't bear to let-"
"Stop!" April groaned, cursing the smile that had graced her lips momentarily. Angry April.
"April, what I'm trying to say is that I am so proud of the young woman you've become. I should never ever compare you to someone else, because that would be doing you a disgrace. You are your own, highly unique, person. And I love you for who you are"
"Ew Leslie stop."
"April please just let me apologize and then I promise I'll leave and you can get drunk. Just please, let me tell you how sorry I am. You mean so much to me, and I never meant to hurt your feelings." Leslie held her hand out to April. "Come on Ludgate, I don't have weird hand AIDS."
"Leslie no." The dumb smile was fighting for it's appearance again.
"Give me your hand April or I will take back the voodoo dolls."
"Take the voodoo dolls I don't care. It's whatever Leslie. Ann sucks anyways. It would be more offensive if you had said I could replace her. "
"Babe!" Andy came crashing into the room. "Babe, Burly just got a new bike and he says that if he drives it fast enough we stop hearing sounds please babe can I go?"
"Andy it's like one in the morning. You want to leave me alone in the middle of the night?"
"I'll stay!" Leslie volunteered, all too quickly.
"See April! Leslie will stay. Isn't she the greatest" He kissed her forehead sloppily. "Love you! I'll see you tomorrow. Or later today. Today. This morning? Woah. Okay bye!" And before she could get another word in, her man-child of a husband was gone.
"Girls night!" Leslie exclaimed, holding her hand up for a high-five. "Lets watch a movie!"
"Okay. I want to watch Saw 3 with children's music and laughter playing in the background."
"Geesh. How about something like Enchanted or Mean Girls?"
"Do people die?"
"No"
"Do they lose limbs?"
"No, April-"
"Is it a post-war society where prostitutes rule the world with snakes for hands?"
"What?"
"They sound lame Leslie."
"Okay, lets watch American Idol re-runs!"
"Leslie!" It was too late, she had already left the room, with whatever the hell was inside the strangely large bag she had brought with her. Before long, she heard her television turn on, and the microwave running. "Leslie this is still my house!" April shouted from her bed, wrapping herself up in the blanket before making her way to Leslie.
"I know, I'm just popping some popcorn! What's better than American Idol and popcorn between besties?"
April plopped herself in the middle of the couch, staring at the television in front of her. This is the last thing she wanted to be doing right now. She was angry with Leslie, she didn't want to eat popcorn and watch American Idol at one in the morning. She wanted to be bitter and ooze with hatred by herself, and Leslie was making it very hard for that to happen.
"Alright!" Leslie wormed her way between the arm-rest and April. She thought by sitting in the dead center of the couch, Leslie would take the armchair and call it a night. But again, she never should be so sure of things like this with Leslie. "We've got popcorn, we've got beer, we've got chocolate, and American Idol. This is the perfect galentine's day, am I right?"
"Only if it ends in murder."
"April..."
"What Leslie? What you did was really lame, okay? We're all people too, I'm a person too. You can't just plop one of us into Ann's place. Especially not me. I refuse to take Ann's place. I would rather take my grandmother's place in hell."
"I know. I'm so sorry April, I can't say it enough. I don't want you to be mad at me. Partially because I'm afraid for my life when you're angry with me, but mostly because I treasure you as a person, as an individual, and as my friend. You're so smart and talented and wise and pretty and I just can't believe I did that to you."
"Say it."
"Say what?"
"Leslie."
She sighed heavily, "You are nothing like Ann, April. The two of you are completely different people. Both equally smart and beautiful and-"
"Leslie."
"Sorry, I'm just trying to relay to you that I care so much about you, and I miss Ann but she's not here and you are. Can I have another chance?"
"Have sex with Larry."
"We aren't having this conversation again."
"Don't ever compare me to the she-devil, don't throw stupid popularity brunches with pre-set questions and answers, and shave your head."
"Deal, deal, and no."
"Fine." a smile crept across her lips.
"See! I knew you'd forgive me." Leslie said happily, throwing her arms around April.
"Knope get your hands off of me!" She said through a grin. No matter what anyone said, she was kind of fond of the hyper-active blonde.
"Is it too early to bring out the string for friendship bracelets?"
"Leslie!"
"Alright just one selfie, one selfie isn't going to hurt, right?"
"I want fake blood."
"April." Leslie looked over to her, fishing her phone out of her pocket. "Okay, come here and look at the camera. You don't even have to smile." She held the phone up backwards, attempting to take a photo.
"Leslie you have a front facing camera, it's a smartphone."
"I've already taken it we're done!"
The night passed by with comfort. American Idol, popcorn and beer, just like galentine's day should have been earlier. She would never admit it to anyone, but April enjoyed Leslie's company. Her alarm rang way too early for her liking, but duty called. Rubbing her eyes awake, she found herself leaning up against Leslie, with her arm around her waist. in that moment, she was thankful that Andy had left for the night. She never would have heard the end of the 'April/Leslie cuddling' story. Quickly, she untangled herself from Leslie, standing and stretching. As she did, Leslie's phone began to ring. "Ugh Leslie!" She exclaimed, nudging her slightly. "Leslie your phone is ringing." Nothing. "Leslie?"
She picked up the phone, "Hello?"
"April? April, is Leslie there with you?"
"No Dork-a-sauraus I ate her for dinner last night"
"Okay but she is there?"
"Only her bones and some of her organs."
"Okay, thank you." Click. Bringing the phone away from her ear, she couldn't help but smile. That dumb selfie that Leslie took last night was the background on her phone.
"Good morning Mr. President." A lazy voice drawled
"Leslie we're going to be late for work, drive me?"
"Of course April! Anything you need at any time ever!" The rate at which Leslie woke up was alarming to her.
"Also your phone background is dumb." She informed her with a slight smile, tossing her the phone. She hated most everything, most of the time. But she guessed at this moment in time, she would have to add Leslie to the short list of things that she didn't hate after all.
