I can hold my breath, I can bite my tongue.

He was going to kill him, well maybe not, in reality, Clint really didn't want to push the third time lucky rule. Phil had been dead once, nearly dead again after the Hulk incident. Knowing his luck if he killed him this time it might actually stick this time and Clint would kind of miss him, plus he was already in Fury's bad books and the paperwork would be a killer especially without Phil to actually fill it in for him (in exchange for a few sexual favours of course). He would not be responsible, he told himself if Phil complained about being bored and wanting to go back to work one more time though.

Too be fair neither of them were great at the forced time off and this might just be the first time they had spent weeks together without work. It was obviously something to bear in mind if they ever got to retire, first thing on the agenda would be to find Phil a hobby! He, of course, would still be stringing up his bow, until his dying day, even if the arrow didn't go much further than a dart board he would carry on till they wheeled him out! Clint would have to be careful about making sure to steer his boyfriend into the right hobbies, otherwise he feared a life of running around in costumes at sci-fi conventions. As much as the idea of Phil dressing up as Wonder Woman bizarrely appealed to him (only in the privacy of their own bedroom), being tugged along by Phil from one stall to the next looking in minute (he could even imagine him with one of those spooky eye things that jewellers screw in their eye to see hallmarks) at the condition of Captain America trading cards for hours on end, would be one step too far. No he would have to get him involved with something useful, like cooking, seeing as neither of them were anywhere near decent, and these last few weeks had certainly proved that! Maybe a dog to walk and feed and groom, though it might take more than one, Clint smiled to himself.

The words bellowed at him making him wince and count to ten and bellow back into the other room,

God damn it, Clint thought as he whipped up from his chair quickly and raced to the kitchen, it really didn't seem fair that Coulson could simply add the word 'hun' to his sentence and Clint was immediately a doodling mess and running after him like a puppy himself, it was irritating to the extreme that Clint loved the geek quite so much!

Phil was innocently standing hopelessly fiddling with the bottle of water in his hands. He looked up at Clint as he walked in, looking at him irritably,

Clint held out his hand, it wasn't as if he hadn't heard the very same thing over and over again for the last few days, no, for the last few bloody weeks he corrected himself.

Phil had been lucky, well the doctors all agreed he had been very fortunate, if a broken collarbone and fractured shoulder blade was classed as luck he wasn't keen on the idea of unlucky. But a hit that hard close to his heart, a heart that had already in medical opinion been ripped in two, and not in the emotional way, could have easily killed him. It had laid Phil up for exactly one day before he wanted to get up and start working again, the doctors had signed him off for four weeks, those four weeks had already be negotiated down from seven and they wouldn't budge any further even under the patent Agent Coulson stare.

Clint had of course offered his humble abode for Phil once he had managed to bust himself out of medical. The older man had been grateful, he really had nowhere else to go but the Bus, although the Bus would have given Phil the opportunity for a bit of sneaky paperwork.

They were three weeks into that period now and for all Clint's mumbling and cursing under his breath at the man he would be back to work within the week and the idea of not having him in his dingy flat was starting to worry his every moment.

There was a sharp rap at the door that could only be one person's knuckles, Melinda May. He opened the door and was bypassed by the whole of Coulson's team, with variety of greetings 'Clint' (May, of course) 'Barton' (Ward, sour bastard) to 'Morning Agent Barton' (the kooky twins) and Skye's 'Yo, guns looking hot this morning, muscle man, I so can see what the boss is thinking' as she poked a finger into his arm. She was an acquired taste that was for sure but Clint was definitely warming up to her, and Phil absolutely adored her, he was not going to pander to May's remark that she reminded her of Clint when he first got pulled in. But she was good for Phil; he was surrounded by serious people a whole lot, it's what his job demanded of course but with The Addam's family set up he had something that worked, and yes, Clint may have mentioned that analogy to Phil. Possible remarked that he always felt that Gomez was Bi, and Morticia was deadly, and the kooky twins made a fine, Pugsley and Wednesday. He wasn't quite sure where Skye fitted in, but he was in no doubt about Lurch. Phil had smiled sadly and wistfully and said that he and Fury had shared a cigar or two after a few missions. Clint hated that look of despondence that floated across his face at the mention of Fury. He had been thankful when Phil had quickly pulled himself together and smiled brightly as he'd said that he had always rather fancied a silk smoking jacket, Clint had no doubt that he wasn't joking. Next thing they knew Phil would be sporting a tash and wanting Clint to dress up like Anjelica Huston and although he looked mighty fine in black he really didn't have the height for that dress, plus painted nails really didn't work with a bow!

They made themselves comfortable surrounding Coulson, it was good to see but if Clint were to be honest it made him feel a little alone, a reminder that Phil would be off again soon. He disappeared into the kitchen to put coffee on for everybody. Away from the cheerful chatter of Phil's team, not the Avengers any more, not that Clint was exactly pro Avengers right now, which intensified the feeling of isolation. There had been some relief of course that they hadn't known about Phil actually being dead for the five days but they had still been heavily involved, he still found it unbelievable that they had stood by and watched Phil go through that alone and all the lies that had followed. He was a little pissed by the fact they had been completely silent, conspicuously absent since the blow up at Stark Tower as well. He was well aware that Phil felt disappointed that they hadn't made contact, Clint was sure Phil was a little nervous now that they thought less of him or God forbid they thought he might be some kind of unknown risk or threat.

Hell, Clint desperately wanted Nat here! They hadn't heard from her since this had all kicked off and as both of them were away from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s computers and communication networks right now, he had no idea where she was or what she was doing. Well, he had a fair idea of what she would likely be doing! She was the only one apart from the man at the centre of attention in the other room that could ground him and the idea of being here on his own without either was terrifying. He had been going religiously to his therapy sessions, maybe with a push and daily reminder from Phil. He had even talked to them, Phil had been invited to one or two and had sat in wonder at how open Clint had been, he was trying he really was. The therapist had banded things around like PTSD and separation anxiety, Clint had argued that one, they had the cheek to suggest that, and he quoted, 'an extreme worry that a major event will cause a separation from the attachment figure' was actually a unrealistic fear! Well HELLO, had they not heard of the Battle for New York? These were S.H.I.E.L.D therapist and they were spouting that crap! They had looked a little embarrassed when called up on it, and Clint had told them in no uncertain terms to put the damn text books away and talk to him! Phil had looked all wide eyed and as impressed as hell at his boyfriend, and that look had gone a long way to make him feel calmer than he had in years. He was going to need that calm as the days started to count down before he left again. He wasn't sure what was being reported back about his mental health but he had been given a return to duty notice starting at the same time that Phil would go back, he speculated it would involve a debriefing with Hill at least and possibly one with Fury, after he had witnessed his little flare up. Phil had thought it unlikely, as Fury had gone silent again on both of them. Clint was finding it frustrating as hell that Fury wouldn't talk to Phil; if he was still angry at the Avengers it had nothing on the big boss man. Coulson and Fury went back a long way and he knew that it had wounded his lover deeply that Fury was so obviously embroiled in the secret of his resurrection and hadn't been straight with him.

Clint wasn't surprisingly too worried about his own return to work, they could stick him with whatever label they desired, he was pretty sure that none of them affected his aim and he was more or less sure that was all S.H.I.E.L.D really cared about in the end.

The coffee was made and he packed it all onto a tray and headed back to the main room, where Fitz and Simmons were regaling some tale with uncontrollable giggles between them. Skye looked wondrously on, believing every syllable. Grant spent most of his time either watching Coulson or May. Clint narrowed his eyes as he watched Lurch a little more carefully, there was something a little worrying about the way he looked between his superiors. Clint had found it quite hilarious when Phil had told him that May and Ward were doing the dirty. He had asked seriously what the hell May was doing with him and Phil had quickly retorted that he thought it was because she could throw him round the bedroom without repercussions, which Barton, had of course laughed his head off at.

Now Clint could see the little jealous spark in his eye. He could even understand why it was there, if he hadn't been in and around the pair of them for years and was absolutely secure in his relationship with Phil their interaction could well be misinterpreted. Coulson and May were a bit of an enigma, Phil, would pour his affection out to her and she would ignore him most of the time, until she felt he really needed something back and then she could be the biggest mother hen out there! Those moments were made all the more stark by the fact that she did it for nobody else. You would be lucky if she handed you a Band-Aid if you were bleeding all over the carpet most of the time. She would beat the crap out of somebody who hurt you sure, but actual conversation, nah, that wasn't happening unless your name was Coulson. He had been grateful to her for it. Phil was essentially a very shy person, someone who would rather blend than stand at the front. It often meant that he got taken for granted and his needs came well down the line. May's presence meant he always had someone looking out for him. He needed it too, Clint had been somewhat concerned when May had told him that she had essentially gone back into the field because she couldn't stand by and watch Phil throwing himself into a more physically front line job than he had for a long time. As a handler he had of course been right out there fighting evil where ever he needed to be but that tended to involve a large team, well, it had when you got to the kind of high management level Phil had been. He was a fixer, more than a fighter before New York. He would never run from a fight though, never, but May had insinuated that he was more independent, not using his team as much as he would have in the past. Clint hoped it was more a matter of getting used to and trusting his new team than a blatant lack of self caution.

He shot Grant a writhing look and had the man flinching under the scrutiny, Phil would call it his Alpha male, 'that's my boyfriend you are looking at' look. He was rather mortified when he looked back round to find both May and Coulson staring at him and then glancing across to Ward. Melinda looked mildly cross but hell she always looked like that and Phil... Phil was actually smirking at him, and then had the gall to cock his eyebrows up in question. Clint just smiled and looked back amused. The Kooky twin just carried on squeaking out tall tales as Skye absorbed every word obvious to the silent conversation going on around them by the grownups.

They stayed actually long enough for Clint to feel happy to have Phil all to himself once again, even when he complained about how difficult it was to even do your pants up one handed, Clint had smiled evilly, not needing to count to ten and told him not to bother trying on his account. That had ended in as much as a rumpus as they could manage with Phil strapped up to high heaven, but they had both ended up more than satisfied.

Clint jumped up from the bed and flew round the room listening to his phone ringing to find out where he had thrown his pants in all the excitement. He frantically hunted through the pockets to find his device before the ringtone stopped.

he answered as he grabbed it, answering so quickly as to not notice the caller.

Stark squeaks,

he does sound a little panicky, Clint thought happily.

Stark shouted.

Phil was trying to rather ungainly heft himself off the bed and pull up his boxers. Clint couldn't help but smile and go over to the bed and help pull him up, He said holding out the phone.

Phil gulped, but took the phone,

There was a long pause and Phil looks down disappointedly, his hand clutching the phone hard.

He looked up suddenly eyes wide, as a soft voice breathes down the phone,

His voice caught and even Clint looked away.

Stark's voice barked. Clint winced as he heard the voice even from the few meters he was standing away from the phone.

Phil sent Clint an annoying look, obviously not happy at having Stark listening to his conversation.

Clint made a hand over motion for the phone, taking it from Phil's reluctant hand.

Stark muttered disgustedly.

Phil looked hopefully over at Clint.

she said blandly and Clint can hear the sound of a body scrambling to stay upright and her sharp stilettos walking away.

Stark said a little bitterly.

He replied as he turned to walk over to where he had left his shirt.

Stark said wittily and Clint couldn't help but smile.

Stark batted back and before Clint could reply, the line goes dead.

Clint couldn't help but feel bad for wasting time snarking at Stark when he turned back around to see Phil waiting nervously, his face openly questioning.

He asked hesitantly.

It had never been more evident to Clint looking at Phil now, what a huge toll this had put on the previously ultra confident man, he was a long way from the Phil Coulson of old, but he loved this one just as much. he replied and stepped in to wrap his arms around the still fragile man.

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