Disclaimer: FLCL and all related characters and materials are property of Kazuya Tsurumaki and Gainax.
Bruise
By: Nanaki BH
I don't know what it is about some people sometimes. They think they're so important; like their existence is so important that if they didn't exist, then the world would implode and all life would cease. Why is that? I know I'm not that important. Heck, if I weren't around, I bet that somebody else would just come pick up my job from where I left off. But then again, that's why I don't plan on disappearing. Nobody could ever possibly do my job quite as well as I do it. And who would really want my job anyway?
I don't even get paid. They tell me I'm going to get my share of the wealth when I finish up my work here with the Nandaba kid but I don't know how much I really believe them or anything they say, for that matter.
But that's not really where I intended to be going with this. Mamimi. That girl he hangs out with all the time… I've been keeping an eye on her lately. She seems to have an interesting sort of fascination with my Naota. Who does she think she is, right? My understanding of it is that she thinks of him as his brother, trying to replace the absence of Tasuku with Naota. She even calls him Ta-kun. I want just stand up to her sometime and tell her what Naota's been meaning to say: "He isn't Tasuku! He isn't his brother! That guy left and guess what – the world didn't fall apart!"
She just doesn't want to feel left behind.
I could tell as I stood there, looking over the side of the bridge at her. She knelt at the river and would occasionally dip her fingers into the water, watching as it curved around them and refused to stay in one place. Even from up so high, I could still see her expression; bored, sad, or maybe even disappointed. Seeing her like that changed my opinion a little bit. It was pathetic.
Taking one hell of a wild chance, I leapt over the rail guarding the bridge and fell as gracefully as I could on the ground below. It wasn't as gracefully as I'd hoped, but at least I didn't break anything. My fall was enough to startle her, though. She turned around and looked at me with a pair of unusually innocent doe-eyes. I wouldn't have thought that look possible for a girl like her. She wasn't expecting me, it seemed but she didn't look all that threatened either. Her expression softened and all but returned to what it had previously been.
I pushed myself up and stood, crossing my arms over my chest. "Sorry," I said with a shrug, "I'm not one to sit and watch if you know what I mean."
Her eyes narrowed. "So you're nosy."
I didn't like somebody forcing their snap-judgments on me but I kept myself from saying anything in response. Instead, I sat down next to her, pulling my goggles down to hang around my neck. I didn't say anything. I just folded my arms over my bent knees and looked out at the river, glowing orange in the waning sunlight. I took the first few fingers of my right glove between my teeth and tugged it off so I could copy her own move; running my fingers through the water, watching it pass them by and continue its natural way through the stream.
Doing that, I realized how comforting it felt and I began to think that she wasn't just reflecting on it; she was trying to admit the truth. Maybe, I thought, she wasn't as self-centered as I had thought. "He left you, you know."
Her eyes never left my face but I refused to look at her. I wasn't going to comfort her. That was for her to do, not me. After a moment, though, she finally looked away, back out to the river sweeping passed. "I know," she said sadly. I glanced at her from the corner of my eyes, watching her slowly start to relax.
"He found somebody new, you know." I didn't mean to be insensitive, but after seeing that letter Naota had received… Tasuku just looked so happy with his new American girlfriend. There didn't seem to be room enough for Sameji in that four by six photograph.
"I know." The way she said it sounded like a rock falling into an empty bucket. That was the only way I could describe it at the time. It was like a painful smack in the dead quiet around us. Of course, it wasn't really that quiet, what with the cars and all, but it sure felt quiet then. I began to wonder what was wrong with me. Why was I suddenly sympathizing with her?
I hung my head, drawing my fingers back from the water. They felt cold.
And I admitted to myself that I was wrong about her. And I realized that was why Naota still put up with her. That was why he tried not to get too annoyed with her. He could have left her on the side of the road a long time ago but he kept her on board because… he felt sorry. He didn't want to hurt her any more than she already was and if it meant letting her pretend that he was his brother, then I suppose… That was what he did. It wouldn't be long before his kindness would come back to bite him, though.
"He said you look like Ta-kun," she muttered, breaking our mutual silence.
My ears perked up and I looked at her, confused. Sameji meant Naota, I realized. With the way she flung around the name "Ta-kun" all the time, it was easy to get confused.
So I looked like him, did I? What was that supposed to mean? Naota didn't? Ah, well, I wouldn't have known anyway. I never did look at that whole photograph from America so I had no real way of knowing whether or not Naota actually resembled his brother.
But how could a girl…?
Duh. She didn't mean my looks. She meant my attitude. I felt a little flattered. Almost as soon as I had entered Mabase, I'd started hearing Tasuku's name everywhere. People around the town loved him and idolized him like a war hero. He was like the epitome of adult achievement to them. That was me? I was like him? How? Why? I didn't think of myself like that.
So why would she even tell me that?
I watched, almost in slow motion, as she pulled out a cigarette and her lighter and as she flicked back the lid to give it a light. Instinctively, I batted it out of her hands before it was lit and grabbed both her wrists, forcing her to the ground and claiming her lips with my own. I didn't know what I was doing but since I'd done it so fast, I must've done it for some reason. But as my lips caressed her own soft, full lips, I decided I would figure out what my reason was later.
"I'm not him," I told her after we parted.
She just looked up at me, eyes hazy. "I know," she said. "And I'm glad."
Author's Notes: Profound. I was dying for some shoujo-ai so I wrote some. This pairing feels kind of hard to find now anyway.
