This is my own kind of the rules thingy so i'm really really really sorry if this and is the thousand one you've seen its just i wanted to make one soooo
injoy
(10)(Don't call Iornhide Old 'hidy)
(Not only he didn't like it, he almost blew my head off as well!)
(Ratchet still can't seem to get it through the old piece of scrap metal's processor that I need that)
(I'm sorry Optimus I just can't help but try to make him glitch)
(2) (Don't refer to the Autobot femme's as the misses)
(Never in the presence of Old 'hidy)
(He will glitch if you call his Chromia his misses, she is his femme, his spark mate)
(Not only that, but it's just so much fun to make the old 'bots blush)
(Their face turns purple!)
(3) (When helping Lennox with paperwork don't drink energy drinks, period)
(What can I say the day was boring and all the evilness that is Will Lennox was making me do work.
(Who likes to do work)
(Not me that is. Plus it wasn't even my fought that it spilled all over the desk)
(Lennox sure does need to learn that when I drink monsters I become just that and have no memory of what I did or where I am at)
(4) (When running away from Starscream don't call him the evil flying Dorito of doom)
(Even if it is true)
(I can't tell you how many times I had my aft saved by the 'bots because I slipped)
(Also calling decepticons names somehow makes you slip and then you have a high case of death by laser)
(5) (If it has high sugar ether hide if or hand it over to Ratchet)
(Or hide it)
(But seriously just hide it)
(If you don't Ratchet knows where you're at, how to get to you, your weaknesses and who you hang out with . . . RUN!)
(6) (No matter how much you want to hang out with Dawnsprinter you cannot go to a Decepticon base, period)
(Oh come on! I'm her Aunty for Primus sakes!)
(Plus Megatron wouldn't even think of hurting his dear little sister)
(Not only that but Optimus would have offlined him, or at least put him is stasis)
(7)(Don't listen to wheeljack, he knows science)
(I had come to the conclusion that I'm allergic to science)
(I never was good at it, and I always seemed to sneeze when I'm doing a assignment, plus I have a science project due next week ((it was assigned two weeks ago)) that counts half of my final grade)
(So to spare myself of the tortures work and learning I asked Wheeljack to tell me about the amazingness that was his current project ((and possibly steal some Ideas for my own project)) and off I went)
(That night I went to bed with a headache and a amazing idea for my science project)
(The next week I went to school with a hand made light up sword that looks like the one from no more heroes, let's just say I got an A on that project)
(And the sword makes an awesome night light)
(8)(What ever Hatchet says, DO IT)
(For reals man, I kid you not when I say he threw a wrench at Optimus)
(Even if it was quiet funny, he will do it ant it will hurt and no he won't give you a band aid)
(9)(Don't even ask Prowl won't help you with your homework)
(I just wanted to know if I set up the equation right, but apparently I was using him as a giant calculator)
(I just wanted help, but noooooo he just had to drag Optimus into it and now I have five 'bots breathing down my neck making sure the work gets done, AND WITH NO HELP)
(Da fuk)
(It's not fun having Prowl, Optimus, Ratchet, Sunny, and Jazzy behind you ready to blast you to Canada if you even take a bathroom brake)
(10)(Sunstreaker's is property of Lightning)
(He really is)
(One epic morning of some kind or form, I happened to come upon a black sharpie)
(With wide scary grin on my face I ventured to Sunny and Sides' shared room that yes of course with much persuasion also is my room as well)
(I just go up earlier for breakfast)
(When I entered our room I b-lined to Sunny and quickly wrote P.O.L., A.K.A Property of Lightning and I added something a little extra)
(Sunny was laughed at the rest of the day, and had no clue of what I did, well until old 'hidy told him)
(Sunny yelped and left quickly to wash the sharpie off)
(Turns out Optimus found me out and had me help sunny, was not fun)
(do you have any idea how hard it was to wash it off his face, that wonderful bushy mustache. . . sniff R.I.P)
(Plus Sunny wasn't happy, but he changed his attitude quickly when I told him I could easily have wrote it on sides' instead)
(11)(No bugging Prowl when he is working)
(Which is all the time)
(I swear he is a workaholic, no brakes ether, once he comes out of stasis he goes straight to his office and doesn't leave until two in the morning or when Optimus drags him out)
(On a Monday I had gotten bored and I finished my homework and chores when I had the most awesome idea to keep myself occupied)
(Being all ninja like, like Mirage only with out the invisibility powers that the amazingness that is Mirage has, I went for stealth)
(Sneaking in with out the 'bot knowing, him being engrossed in his paperwork kind of helps also, I snuck under his desk giggling like a mad woman)
(My male counter part, yes I have one and his name is Steven or Stevo((only I may call him this and that is only in privet)) also somehow gotten mixed up in my shenanigans)
(With spray paint cans in hand, we used prowl as our giant canvas, the 2nd in command didn't see what hit him, literally)
(After a week of repainting and fixing his original paint job, he had yet to figure out who painted his, and he will never know)
(For Stevo being the awesome guy he is turned the security camera to yesterday's footage and Prowl never saw us)
(12) (Don't encourage the lightning twins, we do strange stuff)
(We're not really twins just gender counterparts)
(Though since we think alike and have nearly the same DNA we could be twins, and twins that share a brain can be dangerous)
(Hence the Chevy twins, and the Limbo twins, though the Arcee triplets don't count, they don't get in trouble)
(In other words we prank and make perverted jokes, we argue none stop and we love each other like we really were family)
(Until Optimus and Prowl have us under covalence)
(Then it every man for them selves)
(13)(Chewing gum is fine; just throw it in the trash can when you are done)
(I can't tell you how many times me and Stevo had to scrap the floors as punishment)
(Prowl found out we were the one who painted him, and so here we are crapping floors, under table and chair, and even in the corners no one ever thought of anymore)
(The 'bots were complaining that gun was getting in their gears, which Ratchet and Jolt were not happy to clean)
(14)(When Sides' tells you a secret keep it)
(If you don't; he knows who you are, where you are, who you hang with and what you're wearing)
(15) (This is a list of websites banned on base)
-Fanfiction
-YouTube
-Deviantart
-Tumbler
-quiz it
-Bing
(Don't ask, just don't)
(Many headaches were given, and many of my tears were shed)
(16)(When visiting Megatron, don't get revenge on Sunny when he is being a pain in the aft by saying Soundwave is your new boyfriend)
(Oh come on! He was being a dick, what else am I supposed to do ignore him?)
(Nope I broke it off, and found me a new man. . . robot. . . person)
(Anyway Big bro has no problem with it, Soundwave is very dependable)
(I think Soundwave serious about it too)
(He attacked Sunstreaker when he came to pick me up and apologize ((forced to at leased)) shockingly)
(Big bro sent Soundwave to the brig for the first time ever, and I have to listen to Sunny complain about scratched pain the whole way back to base)
(17)(Steven is not to be called Thunder)
(We are called Lightning, not Thunder, just because he is the male counter part of me does not mean he has a different name, we have the same so we are forced to use our original Primus given name)
(We are the Lightning twins our names are Savanna and Steven, not Thunder and Lightning)
(Now that would be silly)
(18)(Don't make fun of Stevo's sexuality)
(He is Bi not gay, so if you see him with his boyfriend and even try to bully them, I swear to Primus and Unicron I will beat you down with ratchet's wrench)
(And it's not gross it's cute)
(Never knew Blackout had it in him)
(19)(Barricade will not help you get out of a ticket)
(One morning at Big bros place I had gotten bored, and Stevo wasn't awake, NO he was cuddled up inside Blackout ((that totally didn't sound right)))
(But luckily for me, my 'con boyfriend Soundwave was)
(So we went for a drive seeing that everyone else were still in recharge)
(In short Soundwave is a speed demon, and Barricade happen to be on patrol)
(I spent nearly two hours trying to talk him out of giving me a ticket)
(I just wonder what he's using the money on)
(20) (Don't tell Sunny that Soundwave is the better boyfriend)
(Not only is it true, but Sunny would get mega-jealous)
(Unlike Sunny Soundwave hadn't said anything insulting, he is a complete gentleman)
(Unlike some one I know who is to vain to care)
(21)(Don't act out in rage, just go to Optimus Prime)
(So Sunny's constant screaming ((mostly at me)) is starting to get on my nerves)
(So with the help of Stevo, Blackout ((they stay together as much as possible)), Sideswipe, Soundwave, Jazzy, and Jolt we came up with a plan)
(Mixing all of the 'bots and 'cons paint together we had made our very own color, it was very ugly color, it matched Sunny's attitude well if you as me)
(So when he went into recharge we went to work, it took forever to paint the giant car of sunshine ((pun intended)
(When he woke up he had an epic surprise)
(This time I didn't have to help wash him, I told Optimus three days in advance and he along with Megatron agreed he deserved it)
(Man I love my Big bros)
(22)(My room is off limits, that means you wheelie)
(I'm going to kill that mini 'bot even if I kill myself in the process)
(If he steals my samba plushe one more time. . .)
(23)(Savanna is not a whore)
(It had come to my attention that someone has been spreading rumors about me)
(Not the good one ether)
(Just because I have a boyfriend and a self proclaimed one does not mean I'm a whore)
(Sunny doesn't even like me, and the only thing that Soundwave and I have done so far is go out for a drive and you know what that got us)
(A freaking ticket, stupid Barricade)
(But we have a date next week)
(24) (Don't tell the 'bot anything personal)
(Like me and Soundwave's up coming date, which by the way is in two hours)
(Not only did Sunny flip, but Optimus flipped and he quickly commed Megatron, who had to explain out relationship to him)
(If it is even that)
(Were going steady I assure you)
(But I'm not so sure about Stevo and Blackout)
(25)(((This is connected with rule numbers 24 and 18)) Don't ask about Steven's sex life)
(Not only will you get a hole in your chest from Blackout, but Stevo will glare)
(And his glares can melt metal)
(They are that deadly)
(Just, just don't do it, for I had so suffer the price)
(26)(When Dawnsprinter and Knockout are having their couple time, don't tell Megatron)
(Not only will he raise hell ((he worries for his little girl)) but he will bring hell)
(Though I'm sure he wouldn't damage Knockout that much)
(Not only do they need him, but Dawnsprinter would be sad)
(27)(Don't make fun of Onixia Prime's age)
(Momma doesn't like to talk about it)
(Optimus gets offended if you talk in such a manner to his femme creator)
(Plus I think Sentinel and Momma have a thing going on)
(28) (Jetfire is not Santa Claus)
(We can't stress this enough)
(He may have the beard for it but the only 'gift' you'll be getting is a long lecture about the good ol' days)
(Wheelie)
(29)(No Decepticon or Autobot may harm the lightning twins)
(Not only will Optimus Prime will be after you but so will Megatron)
(They love their wittle brother and sister)
(And Onixia Prime would show no mercy if I have even a scratch on me)
(I feel so loved)
(30)(Deviantart is not to be used for black mail)
(Let's just say a few female solders got bored who apparently can draw as well posted some pictures)
(Before it was banned I happen to come across some of these pictures and saved them on a personal flash drive)
(So far my favorite is that not so innocent one of Megatron and Starscream)
(Shush don't tell him that I said that)
(31)(When it is completely necessary, spazz out and make someone else pick up your mess)
(Ok, this may not really be a rule but it is a good survival method to learn)
(It has been approved by Soundwave, but then again he approves anything I do)
(Man I love my mute 'con boyfriend)
(32)(Steven is not mute)
(He prefers not to talk)
(It's too much effort)
(Lazy aft)
(33)(Don't make fun of Savanna and Steven's sport)
(We like and play tennis, like bosses)
(once one of the solders made that mistake and he found yellow balls of doom flying towards him thirty miles per hour)
(He was in med bay for a week. . . in a coma)
(Oops)
(34)(If possible, skip more then walk)
(It has come to my attention that base is much happier when someone is in a good mood)
(And if you have a big influence like me and Stevo then then the base is in hyper drive of the substance that is Happiness that had turned to liquid when it turned into a solid object then liquefied out of the pureness of the kindness)
(In other words the atmosphere was to fluffy for my tastes and so I had to quarantine myself to the 'con base until further notice0
(I learned that day to much skip will lead to too much happiness)
(35) (When there is already suspicion of bondage don't try to pretend that that suspicion is right)
(I didn't know that Soundwave and I seemed that close)
(We haven't even hugged yep)
(But I guess it does seem like we are 'that' close with all that time we spend together)
(So when Soundwave caught wing of all the gossip he sent me a text ((yes that's how we talk)) I nearly fell off my bed that was in between Sunny's and sides' berths)
(The two nearly had a spark attack when they heard me screaming, Sunny then presided to glitch when I showed him the text from by beloved 'con boyfriend)
(I then proceeded to texted back with a plan)
(for that next week we were inseparable, well that is until Megatron needed him for some hacking)
(I think I made him blush I don't know I can't see his face)
(I hugged him goodbye)
(36)(When all else fails run crying to Iornhide)
(One morning when Blurr was talking extremely fast and unnatural I believe I heard a very distinctive insult to humans everywhere, even if me and Stevo aren't considered human with all that cybertronian energy in us((even if we can't use it, curse you Primus for making it so we can't defend ourselves)
(any way's being me I threw the worlds biggest hissy fit cause I can, unfortunately it grabbed the attention of my dear huggable brother Optimus Prime)
(And being a fare leader Blurr got a night in the brig for insulting their human friends and I was throw in the corner for cursing in multiple languages)
(I had no idea what I was saying most of the time)
(37)(If Optimus gives you a punishment, do it!)
(I can't tell you enough of all the time the Limbo twins tried to get out of trouble with their very bad acting)
(Good thing we Lightning twins are pros at getting out of shit)
(Once I broke one Soundwave's monitoring computer thingy ((this is before we started dating)) and man I tell you I never seen him that man)
(He told Megatron, and Megatron was madder then he was)
(They say they were monitoring a 'con who has been giving information to the 'bots)
(My bad, here's a tissue)
(though I didn't have bathroom duty thanks to my epic ninja skills in escaping to my other dearly beloved older brother Megatron)
(38)(Savanna and Steven are the only ones who are aloud onto Decepticon base)
(This is a newly instated rule, considering how many times we slipped under radar trying to get there)
(Apparently too much)
(39)(Savanna is not permitted to drink, eat, or even consume anything caffeine)
(I was once told that I can turn into a beast of happiness if I do)
(I think I mentally scared Jazz)
(40) The list of movies is not allowed to be watched on base)
-Paranormal Activity
-Underworld
-Harry Potter
-Mary Poppens
-Matrix
-contagion
-Alien vs. predator
-Wall-E
-Avatar
-any Disney movie known to man
-Alvin and the Chipmunk's
(41)(Do not quote Monty Python)
Me: [singing] Brave Sir Leo ran away...
Leo: *No!*
Me: [singing] bravely ran away away...
Leo: *I didn't!*
Me: [singing] When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Leo: *I never did!*
Me: [singing] Yes, brave Sir Leo turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.
Leo: *Oh, you liar!*
Me: [singing] Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Leo.
(Skillfully sung on a mission as Leo and I fled from an enraged annoying Starscream)
Epps: Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who
(Said when Will and the other soldiers were telling war stories)
Me: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
(When Galloway tried to make me do work, so I said this)
Me: Right, I'll do you for that!
Sam: You'll what?
Me: Come here!
Sam: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
Me: I'm invincible!
Sam: ...You're a loony.
(This had the 'bots thinking hard on our sanity what we clearly don't have)
Leo: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
Me: NI.
Leo, Sam, Will, Epps, Stevo : Shh...
Leo: We are now the Knights who say... "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm.
(This was during a meeting we were allowed to come too so we organized a plan to do this scene in front of the 'bot, And this was one of those where the 'cons joined to this part of the truce! So Megatron was questioning his sibling bond with me, don't worry he would never think of braking it)
Sam: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
Me: 'Tis but a scratch.
Sam A scratch? Your arm's off.
Me: No it isn't.
Sam: What's that, then?
Me: [after a pause] I've had worse.
Sam: You liar.
Me: Come on ya pansy.
(This was a continuation when me and Sam were sparing with wooden samurai swords that I oh so awesomely have stashed in my deep closet at the edge of my room)
(42)(Do not use Elita-1 as a way to get out of trouble)
(Not only is it cheating but Optimus doesn't approve of you using his femme)
(The Me thinks he has jealousy issues)
(MEEP! or not)
(43)(The NONE word MEEP is not to be used when fleeing)
(It makes Prowl to glitch)
(He thinks it an unintelligent word)
(44)(Ice cream is not permitted on base)
(After the incident with the loudspeakers the whole base banned me from the control room)
(It was a accident!)
(Really I didn't mean to hook my iPod to the systems loudspeakers; my personal speakers just happened to have a similar cord)
(Plus in my defense I can't control it is shuffle puts on Blood on the Dance Floor)
(What can I say 'shit happens')
(45)(NO, means NO)
(This is what I get when I'm grounded and I do stupid things)
(I was told to go to my room which wasn't smart since I share with Sunny and 'sides)
(The two were working up a plot of pranks to pull off, but weren't really getting anywhere, or what Sunny says it was too easy or over used and they wanted something different)
(Oh they got different alright)
(Instead of putting confetti in Iornhide's cannons we put peppered gravy on top of homemade biscuits')
(I was slightly sad I never got to eat any though)
(But when he learned I was involved in the prank ((very much thanks to Sunny's big (teehee) mouth)) my groundation was extended and moved into the brig)
(I learned if you're in trouble; don't listen to the twins)
(And tell them No!)
(46)(When Prowl asks you to get something done, that thing should be done with in that hour that it is assigned)
(Yeah, made the mistake in procrastinating and didn't clean the rec. room until two days after it was given)
(He was not happy)
(The third morning he gave the twins permission to drag me out of bed)
(And I was all comfy and snug on Sunny's berth too!)
(Meany)
(47)(Don't tell sunny you're going to pull a prank on him)
(He'll only pull one ten times better then you and you will always be the target)
(Not fun)
(48)(Never tell Prowl you are going to pull a prank on Sunny)
(Not only is it stupid of you but will never get to pull it0
(Prowl would stalk you 24/7)
(Even when you sleep)
(Stevo was not happy)
(49)(As often as possible smile happily at Jazz)
(I found after many days of observation and experimenting that a good smile will get you anything from the gangsta 'bot"
"That includes free rides"
"And away got get out of trouble from Prowl)
(50)(Don't try to separate Sunny and Soundwave when they are having one of their possessive arguments over Savanna)
(Even if it is me, I tried and I got yelled at by Sunny, who got smacked by Soundwave, who got scolded at by Prowl, who got yelled at by Megatron, who got a meaningful look by Optimus, Who got glared at by Onixia ((Mamma!)))
(Do see this line of occurrences that happened?)
(It was not fun trying to explain to Knockout, Ratchet, and Jolt why everyone has dents and scratched up paint jobs)
(It took hours trying to repaint everyone)
(And the massive repaint was all thanks to Old 'hidy and his spark mate Chromia)
(The Glitches)
btw this will be a large building block for my transformers fic that yes i am writing
Kirin's horns
review please