AN: Happy season 5 premiere day! Woo hoo! I think this has been the longest hiatus ever. To end it on a bang, I submit this fic. We don't see much from this time in their lives. I hope you like it. Reviews are always appreciated.
Lainey13 prompt: "We're done when I say we're done." Smut version.
She sat at one end of the couch, he at the table in the other room. She had a book open in front of her, but hadn't even read a full page in the 90 minutes she'd been sitting there. Elizabeth McCord was stewing. It was bad enough that her husband, Henry, had thrown the ultimatum, but now he seemed upset that she might have hard feelings about the whole thing.
"If you go, I don't know what it will look like when you come back." Those were his words, and what he really meant was "I don't know if we can handle another transition back to civilian life." He'd had two deployments and she'd had one. All three took time and a lot of work to get back on track with each other. Henry's came early in their marriage, so it was just the two of them. But hers came when they already had kids, three kids. Stevie was 7, Ali was almost 3 and Jason would be one soon.
Elizabeth was only gone four months, but the transition back was difficult. She was the interrogator for a handful of top al-Qaeda officials. She spent hours questioning the men once her intel located them and they were arrested, finally giving in to authorizing torture tactics if the interrogation failed. She struggled with the ethical implications of those decisions. Once home, Elizabeth dealt with insomnia, depression, and frequent nightmares.
The girls were clingy when she returned, but she had a hard time connecting with them as she struggled with people being too close, and Jason was the opposite. He didn't want to have anything to do with her. Elizabeth felt guilty and it took a full year after her return to get back to a new normal.
Just as things were finally settling down, Conrad Dalton, Director of the CIA, called her to his office. She apologized profusely for the report she crafted about the hazards and ineffectiveness of using torture, a product of her time in Baghdad. Instead of getting reprimanded, she was offered the Station Chief position, a year at least, maybe more. She didn't question the directive. Elizabeth was all in, sacrificing for her country was part of the job. She came home to share the news of the promotion. It was then Henry threw down the ultimatum, your family or your career.
She sighed. It hadn't been a hard decision. She would never jeopardize her relationship with her family. It was too important. She made the call. When Dalton wouldn't take no for an answer, she quit on the spot. She knew in her heart it was the right decision, but she wasn't prepared for the anger that filled the hole left by what she felt was her premature exit from the CIA.
She decided immediately that she would finish her doctorate. That was easy. She'd been looking for some time to finish it anyway. She had spent her time doing research and she finished the work in short order having nothing else to do with her days. Now that it was done, she was back to square one. Elizabeth glanced over her shoulder at Henry. He was grading a pile of essays. He had a purpose. She had nothing. The rage ran just below the surface, too close. She needed to shove it back down. Hide it away. She struggled to maintain her calm. Then he looked up, his eyes boring into her and she needed to flee before it all came out. She stood quickly, the book dropping from her lap to the floor. She didn't bother to get it, moving toward the stairs. She could pull herself together in their bathroom.
What she didn't count on was Henry following her. Elizabeth pushed their bedroom door open and went to close it, but he was there, blocking her way. "Are you finally ready to talk?" he demanded.
"I have nothing to say." Elizabeth attempted to speak calmly, but even she could hear the anger causing her voice to tremble. That pissed her off even more. She was the master of controlling her emotions.
"You have a lot to say. You just aren't saying it." Henry stepped into the room and stepped back against the door, shutting it. "Do you think I don't know? We've been together 16 years. Do you seriously think I can't tell when you are walling up your emotions? You're going to talk. Let it out."
"You don't get to tell me what to do!" As the words fell from her lips, she smirked and lowered her voice. What it lacked in volume, it made up for in venom. "Except you do. You did."
He stepped closer to her, their chests almost touching. "I didn't make you quit."
"No," she yelled, pushing him away, "What you did was worse. You told me that my life wouldn't be here when I got back."
"Because it wouldn't have. You would have lost yourself and you wouldn't have ever found your way back. You were supposed to be gone for three weeks and you were gone for four months. Do you seriously think it would have been only a year? There would always be just one more thing, one more arrest, one more mission, and three years later, you just might make it home. Your kids wouldn't know you and you wouldn't know yourself." He was now towering over her, his breath hot as it fanned down over her face. She was so angry but him standing over her, breathing down on her, her brain was trying to flip that anger into passion.
Elizabeth was having no part of that. She pushed him back toward the door again. "If I recall, we dealt with a similar situation when you came back from your second deployment." His eyes flashed with anger, but returned to their normal hazel in an instant.
"I did." Henry corrected himself. "We did. And why didn't I reenlist at the end of my four years? Because I didn't want to do that to us again. To you! I remember how bad it was and I would never give my blessing for you to put yourself in that situation." He grabbed hold of her biceps and spun her around pressing her to the door.
Henry looked down at her, the fire still burning in her eyes. "I love you more than life and I could not let you destroy yourself for that job in the name of your country." He felt the pull in his groin. Her lips were full and red, slightly parted. Her eyes were ablaze and it was sexy as hell. He wanted her. It had been so long, definitely the longest period of time they had gone without when they were physically in the same space.
She knew the words he spoke were true, but that didn't do anything to take away the anger and deep despair she felt at having no sense of purpose. Their eyes met and she watched his darken. He still had a tight grip on her upper arms and his fingers felt like fire against her bare skin. Elizabeth felt herself starting to slip, the emotion she was carrying was now morphing into arousal.
Henry saw the slight change and pressed his thigh between her legs and moved to suck the flesh behind her ear. She felt the dampness start to pool between her legs and her breaths get shallow. "Dammit, no!" She pushed him off. Henry shot her a grin. "Fuck you," she said, the anger back with a vengeance.
"Sounds like a plan," Henry said, pulling her off the door and tossing her into the middle of the bed.
Elizabeth scrambled off the bed. "I think we're done here." She attempted to go around him to leave the room. He wrapped his arms around around her waist and hauled her back against his body.
His chest was pressed to her back. He leaned in and whispered in her ear, "We're done when I say we're done." He slipped his hand down the front of her jeans, under her panties and into her heat. "Just what I thought," he said, bringing his hand out and showing her the glistening wetness on his fingers before he sucked them off. She pushed her butt into him and he let her go.
They stared at each other and finally Elizabeth grabbed Henry by the shirt and pulled his lips to hers, devouring him. He moaned as her tongue entered his mouth. "God, I've missed you," he murmured against her lips. He hands roamed her back before sliding down on her ass and pulling her up into his growing erection. When he released her, Elizabeth unbuttoned his jeans and freed him from his boxers
Henry wasted no time in stripping Elizabeth of her t-shirt and bra. He went back to kissing her while running his thumbs over her nipples. She moaned and unfastened her own jeans and tried pushing them over her hips. Henry pushed her face first down on the bed and grabbed the ankles of the jeans and tugged them down and off her legs before tossing them to the side.
Crawling on top of her, his penis pressed between her legs, he asked, "What do you want me to do?
She turned her head to the side, so she could speak. "Make me forget how angry I am.". Henry closed his eyes and set his jaw. He finally let out a long breath and kissed her bare shoulder.
His shifted his weight, sitting back on his heels and his hands skimmed her sides. Goosebumps erupted under his touch. As his hands reached her hips, he caught the seam on her panties and ripped the material, tugging them off. He pulled her back, coaxing her up on all fours. He got up on his knees behind her and leaned over, kissing her neck and shoulder blades. Henry straightened and pulled Elizabeth up against him. His hands roamed her body, massaging her breasts, tweaking her nipples, rubbing her abdomen and working lower until the heel of his hand was pressed to her mound. His fingers combed through the hair between her legs. Slipping through he folds, Henry settled on her clit. He listened carefully as her breathing quickened. He rubbed small circles over it and she rocked into his hand seeking more. With an arm banded around her waist, he pushed her face into the bed and entered her fully in one forceful push. She shrieked into the bed and Henry grabbed her hips and pulled her into him. Her breasts bounced with each thrust.
For the first time in several months, Elizabeth's mind was occupied with the feeling of something other than anger. The level of arousal was building and she needed more. 16 years of sex and love making gave them an unspoken language. She started to shift and he immediately let go, pulling out of her. Henry twisted and landed on his back next to her and she swung her leg over, now straddling him. She slid down on him and let out a breath. She rocked into him and planted her hands on his chest for leverage. Revelling in her building tension, she swivelled her hips in a figure 8 before just riding him hard and fast chasing her release. Henry fought hard not to come without her, but he was rocketing toward orgasm at a much faster rate. He slipped his hand down and pressed her clit before stroking it in short quick swipes. He caught a glimpse of her eyes rolling back before they snapped shut as her pelvic muscles clamped down on him. He released his semen into her and she collapsed on him. They didn't move for several minutes. "I love you," he whispered.
"I know, and I do love you." Elizabeth rolled off of him and landed on her back next to Henry. "I have this gaping hole that used to be part of my identity, and now it's nothing. I don't know what to fill it with. I don't know who I am anymore."
He shifted, putting his weight on one elbow so he could see her better. "Maybe we should leave DC. Let the kids grow up in the country like you did," Henry offered.
"What would you do?" Elizabeth asked.
"We could both teach. Religion professors are dying off at an alarming rate and everyone now wants to be more culturally aware. I could get a job just about anywhere. You are brilliant and any college would be crazy not to hire you. Let's build a new life. Let's fill that hole up.". He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek. She gave him a half smile. It was a start.
Elizabeth started to get up, but turned back to him, arching her eyebrows, "Uh, are we done?"
Henry grinned at her. "I say we're done. For now."
AN: I took some liberty with the timeline, having her quit the CIA when Jason was a bit younger.