Italy is so cute! Italy is a great artist! Obviously, Italy is better than Romano! I mean, he's not even called Italy anymore!
Lovino listened as the other countries chatted from behind the brick wall of the meeting building. He always heard the same thing, every day. Sometimes, they would even say he should kill himself. He leaned his back against the wall, his eyes glazing over as he listened to the comments, comparing him to his brother. He didn't even know why he came and listened to them anymore; all it was doing was making him more depressed than he already was. He finally decided after an hour of sitting and listening that he heard enough and started walking back to his home, where he lived with his 'oh-so-great' brother. The Southerner walked down the dark, peaceful streets of Italy, being introduced to new voices along the way.
He knows he should just die off, and let his brother be the country of Italy. His pride just wouldn't let him allow such things.
No matter what he does-
He started walking faster, nearing his home that was settled just around the corner, an anxious feeling taking over his body. He was just a couple metres away from house, thoughts whirling around in his head like a tornado. He came down to the same conclusion that he always did.
He'll just never be good enough.
Lovino slammed the door shut and slid down the cool fixture. The thoughts never stopped. They never did. The tears he had been fighting for so long fell slowly down his tan cheeks as he lifted himself up and trudged quickly up to his room. The rage inside of him had built up over the last couple hundred years, and now, he would finally let it go. As he entered the dark red room, his hand absentmindedly grasped an expensive statue his grandfather left for him before he disappeared, and threw it against the wall, leaving a very apparent dent in the wooden interior of the room. As his gentle tears became quiet sobs, the ring of the phone broke him out of his fury-fueled hurricane of solid, breakable objects. He took a moment to gather himself before slowly approaching the dark green telephone that sat in the barely used desk. He picked it up, taking a deep, shaky breath before putting it to his ear.
"Ciao..." He answered the caller, blandly.
"Ve! Ciao, fratello! Sorry I'm not home yet. I was just picking up the ingredients I need to make some pasta! I'll make it when I get home, ne?" The voice on the other line tilted and twisted in the most cheerful fashion, making his chest hurt even more than before.
He bit his lip, hoping just enough so that the pain would somewhat rival the pain residing in his chest. It wasn't nearly enough.
With the nicest voice he could muster, he managed to recite the, "Okay. But don't take too long, bastard!" he had practiced in his mind over and over.
He repeated the vulgar sentence in his head again, trying to reconstruct it to make it sound a pinch kinder, without making it seem too suspicious.
"Ve! Alright, fratello! Ciao!" The voice exclaimed, happily.
The line had fell silent before he could make another comment.
He looked down at the phone in his hand. The slightest twitch instigated the rage once again, making him screech a quick 'Damn it!' before throwing it with all of his might against the desk, making an audible smack as it hit the surface. It was then that he noticed the old picture frame on the other side of the desk. Inside the frame, laid a photo with his Nonno, brother and himself. Well, He wasn't exactly the main feature in the picture. The only reason he kept it was for the benefit of being able to see his Nonno's happy face. A similar face was pictured on his brother. It could've been drawn, and the smile could not look more brilliant. Then, there stood himself, a permanent scowl glued on his face as he stood behind his brother, face flushed red due to his constant camera-shyness. A growl illuminated from his throat.
'Why? Why is he always better than me, Nonno? Why did you favour him over me? Why does everyone favour him over me!?' The thought erupted in his mind as his grip on the photo tightened.
He knew exactly why.
It was because he and his little scowling self couldn't do jack shit. He couldn't draw as well as Feliciano, or cook as well as Feliciano, or be as cute as Feliciano, or be as sweet as Feliciano... He could be none of that. He could be very vulgar, and he could flirt, only to fail and be rejected by person and person without end. Even with what he could do, he couldn't possibly do it better than his darling brother. Before he knew it, the picture in his hands went zooming across the air, towards the large window that gave him a wide view of the town. The contact between the two objects resulted in a loud, ear-piercing smash and a whirlwind of glass flying towards him. He could feel the blood drip down his rough skin as the glass made contact with him, causing him to curse under his breath as he tried his best not to let his blood-stained arms touch his clothing. But, that didn't matter anymore. His heart had dropped into his stomach the instant he heard the slam of the door, closing on the bottom floor.
"Ne? Fratello? Are you alright?" A high-pitched voice questioned, quickly finding it's way up the creaky steps of the staircase.
He stood in the middle of the wrecked room, holding his bloody arms together. As the footsteps got closer, his anxiety got the better of him, and he quickly locked the door of the room. The knob began to wriggle as Feliciano tried to open it.
"Fratello! Open the door!" He heard a series of bangs against the structure.
"Go away, bastard! I- I'm fine!" He exclaimed at the sibling, who currently behind the door.
There was silence, except for the doorknob wriggling and the annoyed whines of the younger brother behind the door. In an lame attempt to escape his brother, he wrapped the throw blanket from his bed around himself and got down onto the floor, making the blood of his arms stain the carpet well. He rolled underneath the bed, and curled up into the tightest ball he could. He silently cursed the door as he heard the knob moaning out lowly as a sign of age and failed resistance. .
CRACK!
The door knob lock on the door broke and he noticed the feet of his brother clumsily barge in as the door swung open. There was a gasp of urgency and an immediate cry coming from his brother. He could hear the heavy footsteps of the younger run around the room, in a pathetic attempt to find him. He could hear the wails turn into cries of fear as the buttons of the abused phone were dialed. He saw his brother tap his foot impatiently as he waited for a reply, and hear he was taking loud, deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. Then, he heard a quick gasp.
"Germany! Ludwig, you have to help me! Lovino's room is in ruins and I can't find him! I think he might be hurt. Please, Ludwig!" A cry illuminated from his brother as he screeched into the phone.
There was a gulp.
"Thank you so much..." He heard Feliciano whisper into the device before hanging it up hurriedly and dialing more nations to come assist him.
The names Kiku, Alfred and even Matthew came from the panicking man.
It only took him 10 minutes until he let out a screech
"Why isn't anyone coming!?" He cried out into the quiet room.
Lovino chuckled as he unwrapped the blanket from around his head, causing the younger to gasp in surprise at the sudden noise.
"You just don't get it, do you? Dumbass."
"Fratello!?" He heard his brother cry out, "Where are you?!"
"I'm under here." He muttered quietly, mentally cursing his stupidity, from letting his brother find his hiding spot.
Feliciano used his foot to sweep away the glass beside the bed before flopping on his stomach. Upon seeing Lovino, he let out a quiet sob and grabbed his arm, assisting the older brother from under the bed. As he got him to take a seat on the mattress after clearing it of glass shards, Feliciano quickly wrapped his arms around his brother, before letting out a sob.
"What happened, Lovi? Who did this to you?!" The younger wailed, sobbing into the cardboard-coloured bloodstained shirt his brother was wearing.
He chuckled under his breath before answering, "I did."
A feeling of fear and confusion sparked in Feliciano's mind. He let the overwhelming feelings jump from his gut to display in his face, "You're kidding, right? W-Why would you ever do this to yourself?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Lovino muttered, trying his best to cover his scarred arms.
The confusion in the younger became stronger, as his face twisted with the said emotion.
"What do you-"
"Don't play dumb with me, Feliciano. It's painfully obvious that every nation hates me, including you. You only stay here out of pity for me. I'm not Italy, because the only reason I was put on this earth was to make sure you'll be alright until you truly become the nation of Italia!" Romano exclaimed his belief, but only received wide eyes and a weak frown in return.
"Why do you even think that!? Idiot!" Italy cried out loudly, grabbing his brother firmly by the shoulders and looking into his eyes. "I don't hate you! I love you more than anyone! Japan, America, even Germany! Isn't it more obvious that I can't be Italy alone?! You may be right on the fact that you aren't Italy, and that's because we both are! Together! " He exclaimed into the older man's face, tears rolling gracefully down his face as he shook his brother harshly.
Lovino stilled himself, peeling the hands off of his shoulders before shooting a sad smile to his northern counterpart.
"It's because I'll never be good enough." He repeated the evil words that repetitively replayed in his mind every moment of every day.
"What do- What do you mean?" Feliciano let his sobs die down, before answering his brother in sniffles.
"You're such a dumbass." He started slowly, bunching his hands into fists, "You don't need me, of all people, to be Italy. You have so many alliances with people who you could even call friends, like Ludwig and Kiku, the Allies and even Nonno is watching over you, wherever he is. I have no one. You could say that Tomato Bastard is someone I have, but even he likes you better! And what's more, I'm more of a human, then I am a nation! The only part of Italy I am is a citizen. I'm nothing compared to you…"
A soft whisper spoke into his ear, "Y-You…"
He sighed quietly, preparing his mind to be rejected by the only family he had left. He turned away from the younger's confused gaze. An anxious feeling gnawed at his stomach. He could finally leave, or die. Whatever he could do to make sure Feliciano was the only true nation.
That was, until two unexpected words broke the silence.
"You're wrong."
The thin arms wrapped around him again, face buried into the back of the older brother.
"You mean everything to me. You're one of the very few things I love more than pasta! I hate it when you say things like that, and when you storm off whenever people make you mad, or say mean things about you. Don't you get that they're jealous?! They just want to be you!" Italy said, wiping his tear-stained cheeks against the cloth and giving one more small sniffle. .
"The only reason someone would want to be me is to get close to you. Other than that, Who in the actual fuck would want to be me? Someone like me? I'm useless!" He yelled in a broken voice, flipping around to see Feliciano looking frightened.
He hated it when he cried, especially in front of people.
"You wonder things like that, and then you fail to see that you can do so many things! You can cook, make your face redder than a tomato. You can pickpocket, which isn't that good of a thing, but you're the best person I know who can do that! You can do anything, if you would just stop thinking things like that!" Italy muttered into his back, allowing the older's uncontrollable shaky breaths to flow out into the air.
Lovino grunted under his breath, letting a tear roll down his face once again. He wondered when Feliciano had noticed those things. The younger pulled away, facing his brother again, with a soft smile.
Lovino could swear he'd never seen anything so charming.
"So, won't you stay here? With me?" The softness of the voice almost made his heart break.
"I-I would love to-" He muttered, wiping the single tear away as he turned away from his brother once again.
"Great! See, was that so-"
"But, I can't stay here."
Feliciano's sentence was cut off before he could finish, by words that he didn't want to hear. His eyes widened and his heart fell to his stomach, similar to his brother earlier.
"What?! Why!?"
"I can't explain it. Something's wrong with me, Feli. Everyday, I sit by some wall of some building and listen to these voices that I've convinced myself are people, and they're not! As I listen, I always wonder, who would even miss me if I wasn't here? They wouldn't care as long as their precious Feliciano was okay!" He stated, clenching and unclenching his hands to stop himself from crying again, "I always wonder, why does everyone like you so much better? I wasn't always such an asshole. I can't stop wanting to hate you so much, but I can't. Why? If I didn't care so much about you then I wouldn't even have these problems. I can't find anyone, anyone who can save me from all these swirling thoughts in my head that never stop. I don't think I ever will."
The younger man saw his brother start to shake, trying to contain himself. He listened intently, even if he was slightly angered by the stupidity his brother was spewing. He knew it wasn't stupid to Lovino.
"Well, then-"
Suddenly, the elder Italian began to wail. His chest felt so heavy that he thought his heart could burst. He had kept this all inside of him for decades, and even though he finally told someone, it just seemed to feel worse. Wasn't letting your feelings out to someone supposed to lift the weight off, not make it seem heavier? Feliciano suddenly felt a pang of worry fall over him. It was odd for Lovino to cry so openly; in front of him, at least. He fell back to his regular solution, and wrapped his arms around him once again, waiting for his wailing to stop.
"It'll be okay, fratellone. I won't leave you in the dark." Feliciano mumbled into his ear, trying to soothe the older man.
The wailing started to die down from the encouragement. Lovino, now embarrassed from the awkward encounter, nudged Feliciano off of him and mumbled quietly under his breath.
"I don't need anyone. I'm fine."
"That's not what you were telling me five minutes ago, Lovi. It's fine, you can tell me anything! Now, as I was trying to say," Feliciano countered the statement coming from his embarrassed brother and pressed his forehead against him and smiled brightly, "You don't need to look for anyone, anymore! I'll save you!"
The words struck Lovino like a bomb. The swirling thoughts in his mind stopped for a moment, as he stared into Feliciano's eyes. He couldn't believe him. He had to be screwing with him. It wouldn't be surprising if he was, even though that statement was all he had ever wanted to hear from someone. But, Feliciano's eyes were pure, and full of an emotion that Lovino couldn't pinpoint. He pushed him off forcefully, hoping that his younger counterpart would just leave already.
"Why would you want to save me, anyway!?" He grumbled, crossing his arms and turning his back to said person.
Feliciano sighed, getting slightly annoyed by his brothers temper. Despite that, he replaced his frown with his bright smile and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Isn't it obvious, fratello? It's because I love you!"
Lovino's heart skipped a beat. He knew it was brotherly love, mind you. Or was it? Whatever it was, He had never heard those words sound so true. It was then that he lost control of himself and his body.
The rest of the night, Feliciano sat with his once again wailing brother, trying his best to hug him back in the death grip that he was constricted in by his older brother, hearing continuous phrases like 'I love you, too!' and various forms of 'Thank you!'. He just giggled and repeated them back, snuggling into his shoulder.
And that is how it all started.