"Know what they say about boys who ask girls to hang out in their room while the 'rents are out?"
Hinata Hyuuga licked her melon-flavored ice pop upside down, lying on the carpet with her legs propped up his bed. He probably shouldn't have invited her in. He hated having people invade his personal space plus her skirt was being pulled by gravity and her jaded eyes told him she didn't care. Not with the crisis they currently face.
"Opportunists. Animals who can't keep it in their pants." he said, finding himself earning a new nail-biting habit out of the ordeal. "Not that I'm one of them. Haven't even thought of it. Number one reason: you. And number two: clearly, we're both… lucid, why we're together in the first place."
No one in the history of modern humanity expects to see something like that, especially in broad daylight.
Hinata Hyuuga bit half of her ice pop and the other half fell disgracefully on the face of Konoha Academy High's so-called White Lily Madonna, sliding into his mother's Persian carpet, and Sasuke flew for the box of tissue on top of his drawer.
"Sh—Shoelaces! You bit—bigoted," he begun, fighting for the right to insult, not caring if he walked over her face as he put on elbow grease on his mother's antique, "Wh—whooman!"
"Ow!" she yelped. "You stepped on my hair!" She jabbed a popsicle stick up against his throat (like the mugger that she was). "Do that again, and you'll see."
"See what? Your straitened circumstances?"
"Fuc—Fucwad!" Her face turned red at the awkward cuss and withdrew her useless tool for threat. "Farquaad," she mumbled to herself. "Yes it was Lord Farquaad. Gosh, I love Shrek so much."
Content that every fiber was rid of poor people food mess, he thought of the 500,000 yen eau-de-toilette in his bathroom to spray on the carpet.
She jerked his direction. "Where are you going?"
"Still within the five meter radius if you come with me, dumbass—" Sasuke paused at his last word and Hinata Hyuuga's eyes went wide with terror.
Sparkles appeared mid-air and Naruto revealed itself once more, the legendary fairy of Konoha Academy, as it had introduced itself at lunch break.
"Dattebayo!" said the blond, winged tiny person with a pinched voice.
"You careless black-haired human!" she cried at Sasuke, falling down despondently. "How am I supposed to live right now?"
"Geez, you two better learn your lesson already! Now you're down to a four meter radius. How're you gonna deal with that 'coz I seriously don't know." Naruto shrugged his shoulders.
Just before the creature could completely twirl his wand and disappear, Sasuke caught it with both hands, clinging with desperation like never before. He was merely meaning to stop it from leaving, but the notion of murder didn't seem bad at the point.
"Fwuah!" it said, easily slipping away. "Do not touch me! Stinky, sweaty hands!"
"I DON'T!" shouted Sasuke, its tiny voice and Hinata Hyuuga's whimpering seriously grating on his nerves.
Naruto narrowed its eyes and raised its wand, preparing to leave. Sasuke knew he didn't have a choice. He maybe a rich, famous, one-of-a-kind Uchiha, but none of it matters if he's stuck with Hinata Hyuuga for the rest of his life.
"Mighty, benevolent, magnificent fairy Naruto!" He dropped on his knees and kowtowed. "Have pity on us for our youth had caused us to disturb your peace with our uncouthness—"
"Your potty-mouth," interjected Naruto.
"Oh yes, it was that, wasn't it?" said Hinata Hyuuga, quickly changing from a damsel in distress to a mental patient breaking out the asylum. "It was all your fault, you potty-mouth Sasuke Uchiha! If it wasn't for you I'd be—"
"Shut it!" Sasuke went nose-to-nose with his greatest adversary to date since going back to Japan. "The likes of you just brings it out of me, you two-face cun—candlestick! 'Coz your syntax totally suggests good breeding, doesn't it?"
"Far. Quaad," she seethed. "You bigoted piece of shoelaces."
"Enough!" said Naruto. Its tiny face looked mad, folding its arms. "Geez. I didn't come to warn you just to see you fight. Get along you two. You're stuck with each other forever."
"Why?" Hinata Hyuuga sounded pleading. "Why me?"
The hipster fairy clicked its tongue. "I told you already, unlucky girl. You woke me from hibernation. That's travesty. Also, maybe you two don't remember, but you got along pretty well a long time ago."
Hinata chuckled, the rims of her eyes seriously red. Not that Sasuke cared. "Kindergarten? Please. That was a different time, in a different world with different people. You're sorely mistaken. Me, him"—she pointed him with her thumb—"we don't ever look back."
Naruto sighed. "I guess it can't be helped. I'll be going now. This is Naruto, fairy of love, hope, happiness, gratefulness signing off."
"Wait!" said Sasuke.
"What now?"
"I have a proposition." He gulped.
The fairy just looked at him incredulously.
"You said fairy of love, hope, happiness, gratefulness…"
"Yep, that's my unbreakable fairy code."
"So, um, you get that what you're trying to get us to accomplish is like climbing the world's tallest summit, right?" Sweat dripped his eyebrows. "To us, getting along is like Mount Everest. It's almost insurmountable, but, you know the saying one step at a time?"
"Yeah… Keep talking."
"I say there should be minute adjustments to be made on the stipulations of this… um, curse. What I'm saying is, isn't 'get along' too broad?"
Hinata Hyuuga was wide-eyed looking at him. In admiration of his genius, for sure.
"What constitutes getting along should be properly defined, don't you agree, masterful, glorious, great fairy Naruto?"
Naruto thought for a while. "You're right. Let us make amendments."
Sasuke breathed out relief, hoping to get new better terms.
"I propose that I—and Hinata Hyuuga—be allowed our separate ways, though we need to comply with something like, like—like a quota!"
Naruto shook his head. "Allowing you to separate immediately is a bit of a stretch, boy. I say, you comply with a daily quota which will serve as your 'one step at a time' to freedom. Yep. That's far better." He twirled his wand, releasing sparkles in the air. "Dattebayo, dattebayo," he sung. "From now on, say a word of thanks, daily, daily, dattebayo. From the heart, from the heart, dattebayo, dattebayo. Half a meter apart for a heartfelt word of thanks. Daily, daily, if you don't, one meter closer, daaatttebbaayoo!"
Something popped and smoke filled the room. Hinata and Sasuke coughed. They looked at their own bodies and everything's in place, no severed limbs or whatsoever.
"He's gone."
"Okay, I guess this means we just have to thank each other, once, daily, daily…" Sasuke said, singing the tune.
"Thanks for getting me into this mess…" Hinata strode out his room.
"Wait—"
A loud thud hit the floor. Miss Smarty Pants decided to go a meter over beyond the current four meter radius and now lay paralyzed on the corridor.
"Ha!" Sasuke paced back and forth. "Bet your numb skull didn't hurt..." He waved his hand over her eyes and she was an absolute frozen fish. At least, until the next morning. Guess he'll need to give it a shot as well. "Thanks for…" He licked his lips and decided he needed lip balm. And rehydration. But he won't be able to do so with Hinata Hyuuga spread out on his corridor. "Thanks for being my friend in kindergarten."
She gasped and blinked. Slowly, she got up.
"Worth the try, I guess," she said, rubbing the back of her head.
He jerked his head, signalling to head downstairs. "Water…"
And she could use some ice—no—all the ice in the ice molds combined. Since Hinata Hyuuga's head is too big.