Vegetables

((This is an opinion piece based on a fictional show))

Okay I know everyone was surprised last night to find out that Bay is in fact a virgin and Emmett is "One of the other food groups" as Bay so eloquently put it. My question to you has to do with Bays feelings and reactions as related to her character growth. First for you I am going to detail my thoughts and observations and would love any feedback.

Before we jump into the whole Emmett is not a "vegetable" side of things the first thing I want to discuss is Ty and why she was so willing to have sex with him in the first place and then declined to give herself over to him. First thing we have to consider when considering Ty is their relationship itself. Ask yourself how much did Bay really have in common with him? From where I'm sitting they did not have a whole lot to tie them together beyond circumstance. I feel like their relationship was more physical than emotional and based on Bay's need to be seen and heard at a time in her life where she felt like she was being faded out by the people she loves most. Faded out and replaced by Daphne the girl who would have had her life if it weren't for a strange and often times' cruel twist of fate.

This is what leads me to my next point all having to do with Bay's state of mind the night she left the fundraiser with Ty (Tyler) Mendoza. She'd just spent the whole night watching everybody spend the night fawning over Ms. Daphne while they barely said two words to her. In fact the only person who really did speak to her was Regina who was trying to impress upon her that drinking alcohol underage was not going to make her feel any better. To which Bay responded "It couldn't possibly make it any worse" after they both witnessed Daphne taking a "family picture" for the newspaper, a picture which incidentally did not include Bay. After this happens Ty shows up at the last minute to as Bay perceives it save her from the injustice of it all. She's already feeling ignored and alone where as Ty makes her feel noticed and heard. So when they get back to his house not wanting to lose that feeling she opts to have sex with him but ends up not going through with it because supposedly neither one of them is carrying protection.

Now in the next episode we find out over the course of a Kennish family firing squad….err dinner that Ty has enlisted in the army and is leaving Thursday. The date of his departure just happens to be only 3 days away and Bay was completely clueless. Ty's inability to be forthright and candid with her of course adds to Bays feelings of inadequacy and abandonment. Bay may not have been left behind in the same way that Daphne was but in no way is she a stranger to feeling like people leave her because she's damaged or simply isn't good enough.

Once Bay comes to terms with Ty's choices she decides that she wants to try and convince him to stay by sleeping with him. The Mothers to their credit sense the inner workings of their daughter's mind not that they understand because if they did I think that both would have made more time for Bay in the future instead of during this isolated incident. I do have to give them credit for being aware enough to help her make a mature and informed decision. Since Regina and Kathryn embody different parenting styles they both have different approaches to the topic of sex that together were quite effective.

Kathryn approaches a surly Bay who is more than ready to brush her off but appeals to their Mother/daughter bond to get Bay to hear her out. She explains that sex doesn't have to be any great romantic thing all rose petals and wine all the time. Kathryn does tell Bay that it needs to be with someone who makes her feel as special and incredible as she truly is. She makes a big point about how the emotional connection is so much more important the setting or circumstances. Bay is clearly very touched by her Mother's wisdom. Kathryn's next sentence however is what sends her running from the room "Good sex is about the giving and receiving of pleasure". Bay ran after hearing this but I do believe that she heard her Mother.

Bay felt like she had that special connection with Ty because she felt like he really saw her and maybe he did but it wasn't enough to make him stay. Bay is still of the mind that sleeping with him will cure his need to leave and uproot his life so that he's not just "marking time" as it were. That is until Regina corners her before she can get out of the driveway. Regina starts off by saying that "You know what's going to happen if you go over there right". To which Bay gets all defensive because she feels like everyone can see right through her. Regina presses on making sure Bay knows all the basic's safety and what not. After that is when she explains to Bay that sleeping with Ty will not make him stay, that no matter what she does he is leaving. Most importantly she lets Bay know that she understands how she feels and explains how once she thought that there would be the magic moment after sleeping with a guy that would change everything but that it never did. Regina treated Bay as an adult giving her the reality of things.

Ultimately with what she learned from her two Mothers she chose not to give her virginity to Ty but to merely say good-bye. Kathryn taught her that it needs to not only be with someone special but someone who makes her feel special, which I think made Bay respect and value herself more. Regina conceded the fact that she was getting older and would not always listen to the people around her while still imparting the wisdom of experience that sex does not change everything. This made Bay feel more empowered about her ability to make decisions and be in control of her own body and to not let her body be in control of her. It's all this that helped Bay grow and mature which is what I believe caused her reaction to sex with Emmett to be different which is what we'll get to next.

First off let me say that I do believe that Bay would have given her virginity to Emmett if things hadn't gone down the way they did, with Bay pretty much being thrown for a loop which resulted in her blowing up in true Bay fashion. That being said I want to point out another action that shows how much she has grown as a person going from adolescence to adulthood. This time instead of trusting that Emmett would have protection she was proactive and responsible by securing her own condoms in advance which I have to say made me very proud of her. Whether or not they had sex is not the point that I want to discuss. More specifically I want to concentrate on their relationship itself and the scene in the car where Bay finds out that Emmett is not a virgin like I assume she expected him to be.

I'm going to start with their relationship and how it evolved. In the beginning Emmett was just the best friend Daphne's best friend and Bay was just Daphne in another life. They had very little contact the in first half of the summer season until after Ty leaves. Now we all know about the picture that Daphne gave Bay and who then ended up by chance not design asking Emmett for his help. Ironically enough Daphne is the reason their whole relationship started in the beginning that thought just must piss her off sometimes. I digress that small favor turned into a ride to the junk yard, that ride to the junk yard was the beginning of a mission and a friendship. I think that is an important point to make they started out as friends. Whereas Ty and Bay only had a handful of conversations before they were making out in back alleys. That in and of itself shows that their relationship Bay and Emmett's started off on an emotional connection which makes their bond that much more special…in my eyes anyway. It hasn't always been about art with them, which tends to be what most people see but more about that Emmett really got to know and care about Bay. The same is also true for Bay despite the communication barrier is if Bay hadn't been noticing him and getting to understand him she never would have made the connection of what a good listener he is. In fact she might have taken his lack of reaction while listening to her as inattention on his part but she didn't because she sees more than the surface image so to speak. So to summarize their relationship took a more natural course, acquaintance's, friendship and finally culminating into something more. There's so much more I could say on the subject of the foundation of their relationship but I would swerve to far off topic.

In this most recent episode we have the car scene involving vegetable talk. I really do think Bay was surprised to find out that Emmett is not a virgin that he is in fact more experienced than Bay which made her uncomfortable. I think that she assumed since he'd been carrying the Daphne Olympic type torch for I wouldn't say 8 years but definitely since puberty that Emmett hadn't made time for anyone else even if it was just a fling. I do believe that it was just a fling because Daphne doesn't appear to know anything about it otherwise she might have used it against him while she was off dating other boys. So the information definitely threw off her balance for a minute.

However I do feel that the sense of being uncomfortable with it persists for many reasons. First off for all her bluster and witty come backs Bay truly has a wealth of insecurities just under the surface, it's like she told Emmett "Just because I always have some snappy come back doesn't mean that I don't break easily". I think Bay was being bluntly honest with Emmett about herself on a personal level which is not something the guarded dark haired Kennish is prone to doing. Knowing that Emmett is experienced and not knowing just how experienced he is probably pokes and prods at those insecurities like the turning of embers to fan a flame.

A lot of those feelings of inadequacy stem not only from her family but from past relationships. I mean she starts out with Liam who is too much of a cardboard cut out to really understand and handle her, so after she pushed him away he left her completely. Ty just couldn't deal with things in general and he didn't understand that her generosity was not because she pitied him but because she cared so he attached himself to Uncles Sam's coattails instead. It appears as if it's been a long time since Bay had any friends at school which can play poorly on her sense of self worth as well. John and Kathryn can't seem to balance their attention between the 3 kids and the lawsuit makes her feel very unwanted. So Bay has plenty of reasons to be insecure which leads me to believe she's scared about measuring up to whoever Emmett has been with before. Her one consolation is that it's not perfect Daphne she feels that she has to compete with in the bedroom as far as Emmett is concerned.

Then we come back to Kathryn and her parting shot to her daughter about what makes good sex. If she's worried about measuring up then that also comes into play in the realm of being able to "please" him as he "pleases" her, which comes full circle to being worried about how she looks naked. Now I'm sure that Bay knows that she's beautiful I'm sure Emmett has told her more than once, trouble is with her self esteem issues I don't see her as being the type of girl to really take it to heart and believe it. So yes I believe if Bay is honest with herself she's not comfortable with him having gone there before.

I believe that while all her personal issues won't keep her from being with him I do believe that when it comes to the act itself that she will be shyer and reserved which I know is contrary to what she shows the rest of the world. I feel this way because she is more emotionally attached to him than she was with Ty. The lack of a strong emotional connection to Ty factored more into why she was so willing to sleep with him even more than her immaturity at the time. The overall point that I am trying to make with this is that yes Emmett being experienced bothers her but she's not as immature as some people seem to assume and when the time comes I feel like she has grown enough to be able to handle this in a very mature adult fashion.

Just a note to anyone who's reading my story "Me and Emily" the next chapter is almost done and will be posted before next Tuesday.