i woke in the middle of the of the night looking a cottage. "where the hell am i?" i say. i decide to look inside that cottage and to my luck, i heard voices. "come on big mac, we gotta finish this applebuckin' before tomorrow!" a growling .

female voice said

"eeyup" a man voice said

"come on! we gotta finish buckin' those apples now!"

"eeyup" they started walking and i freaked out, jumping into an apple stack. they walk out and they are… ponies? this is just like the f*cking thing, if only i could remember it. i decided to reveal my location but they suddenly look at me with O shaped mouths. she says "who are ya!"

"m-me?"

"eeyup"

"i'm… bean, bean pain, sorry if you think my name is fake. also you two are big macintosh and applejack." they just stood there staring at me like I was a fortune teller. "We gotta take him to flutter shy, she might be able to tell us what it is." Applejack said

"I'm a human, hu-man, and I am bean pain." With a smile I started walking to find my weapons." I am supposed to be on earth with killzone right now."

Flash back

I was set up camping so I could kill that f*cking makarov. killzone was scaling the building I was aiming at. "Take the f*cking shot." killzone said, I pulled the trigger. Whiteness, no gun shot or anything, just... Whiteness.

Flash back over

"Found them!" I said as I picked up my sniper and custom LMG.

"Oh my celestia, what are those?"

"Guns, why?" I was walking in the direction of fluttershy's place when a pink blur appeared to my left, god, why was pinkie pie so excited every day. "Hi pinkie pie."

" how do you know who I am? I know every pony but you?"

"Childhood memories of my life, pinkamena Diane pie."

"You even know my full name, awesome!" I kept walking to fluttershy's place As they walked too. i spotted a pony reading a book on a bench and immediately said "hi, twilight." startling twilight and making her jump and shout "what are you?"

"just a task force recruit, why?"

"wait, you're a… human?"

"eeyup, why? anyways i need to sleep." we all started to walk to fluttershy's cottage and got there fast. upon seeing it i fainted from my drowsiness.

i was in a house made of rust and crazy gore. a growl is heard behind me and as i turned i get attacked by pony. not a pony, but a crazy pony that was decaying. i screamed and then everything went white. "what the f*ck?" i said looking around and saw a pony with a moon on her flank, she was an alicorn. "thou shalt bow now." she said in her royal canterlot voice, i bowed and found out she is nightmare moon. she says "i need oh thou strength."

"what do you mean nightmare moon?"

"kill a special somepony."

"what!?' i jumped back.

"just kill my… my beloved self."

"uh…"

"i live with princess celestia and am currently trying to take over equestria, please stop me."

"ok…"

i woke up inside fluttershy's cottage. fluttershy was tending my wounds "what, happened?" i said scaring fluttershy.

"y-you…" suddenly a rainbow hair mare walk in and said "i heard there was a new dude to beat in town!"

"that would be me" i said.

"oh my celestia! what are you?"

. "pinkie, and applejack will fill you in, now… where did my weapons go?" i got up and saw rarity and spike there as well, so the group was altogether now. One 'stallion' for every two 'mares'. I laughed silently as I thought about that. I picked up my weapons and told everyone about my dream. "We gotta save equestria!" They said. As I walked out I toppled over fluttershy. "sorry flutters." I said as I kept walking. i ran into everfree forest knowing no one would follow me, so i could take in all this. As i walked i could see a small hut. A zebra walked out and saw me. she said "hello new friend, or are you foe?"

"i'm neither of those, nice lady." i said.

"Don't do that, or you'll splat."

"can you stop rhyming for a minute and talk straight?"

"just let me go, you new found foe!"

"ok." i walked out of the forest and found the team waiting for me. great, i can't have a break for even a minute. i crept silently away so they couldn't find me. I sighed, happily walked away, that's when pinkie jumped out of my gun. i yelped, freaked out. i say "how did you get in there!?" the others came running at me and i got dogpiled on. i guess they thought i was dead. They finally got off and i was finally able to breath. I start walking away and they contently follow. "Which way to the crystal empire?" I ask, but there was a creepy, small growl behind me and I look around. It was a changeling. I pull out my LMG and kill the f*cking thing as it got apple jack, she vomited when all the blood fell on her. she said "oh, my celestia!" she was scared out of here mind. The others went to comfort her. god dammit, i didn't know that they never saw blood before. That changeling was uncanny. As they slowly got up to follow me to crystal empire, I was already walking away.