title: love month
prompt: SASUSAKU MONTH ON LJ!
rating: T-M

summary: oo1; Sakura knows that Sasuke wants more of her. But Sasuke doesn't want her to push herself. Why is she so desperate for his love?

.oo1.
What are you so desperate for?

They'd been dating for nearly half a year. Eight months at most.

However, they had never been past the kissing stage. Sasuke usually almost always took the initiative, and Sakura would eagerly respond, but it never went further than hands up her shirt, to which she would stop and pull back, blushing and hiding herself from his view.

"Am I pushing you too fast?" Sasuke would ask, and Sakura, unable to look at his disappointed face, would shake her head. "It's not that. It's just me."

"Oh."

They would sit there in awkward silence until Sakura sighed, got up, and kissed her sweetheart on the cheek. "I got to go. My parents are probably worried sick."

As much as she loved Sasuke and knew how much that he loved her, she couldn't help but feel like a nuisance to him. He didn't want to push her, but at the same time she knew that he wanted her mind and body to finally give in to him.

Sakura sincerely loved Sasuke from the bottom of her heart, but she felt as if she was boring him. A man had hormones, and their libidos were often unsatisfied…

She didn't want to think about it. Shaking the thought out of her head, she hurried home, still feeling the warm tingles of Sasuke's fingers on her skin, creeping up to cup her breast.

.

.

.

Sasuke sighed, running a hand through his hair. She had stopped him once again. Sasuke honestly didn't know if it was because she was uncomfortable or if it was his own fault, but either way, he didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to rush her into something that she didn't want, but couldn't help himself. She was just so beautiful…

He remembered the softness of her skin as he crept up the hem of her shirt, feeling her flat stomach heave up and down with each heated breath. Sasuke, blushing, immediately hardened and pressed his head to his knees. "Ugh," he moaned, feeling the hot pain in his crotch. "Just one touch can make me feel like this…"

Sasuke wouldn't lie. He wanted her. He needed her. But if Sakura didn't agree to it, then he wouldn't push her. He sincerely cared for her and honestly loved her. That's what good boyfriends were supposed to do. They wouldn't do anything their girlfriends didn't want them to do.

Sasuke knew that he was going out of control. In order to prevent himself from getting the tissues and Vaseline, he bound his wrists together with rope…until he realized that he couldn't free himself.

Then, he had spent the whole night alone waiting for his brother or his parents to come back so that they could use the kitchen knife to cut the twine apart.

.

.

.

Sakura hated herself. She hated how she couldn't give Sasuke everything. After all, she did love him. And she wanted him to be her first. But for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to do it. It was a weakness that she hated, but she wanted to be more confident with.

That night, ready to go and visit her boyfriend again, she stood naked in front of the mirror, embarrassed at her figure. She had round breasts, soft and curvy in the right places, and a nice separation from the hips and the waist. Her thighs were nice, too, so she wondered why she was feeling so self-conscious about herself.

Was Sasuke the type of person who liked big boobs and hourglass figures? No, no!

She picked out her sexiest underwear—a red lace bra and matching thong. Sakura had bought it once when she and her friends went out to Victoria's Secret, but never brought herself to wear it.

Tonight would be the night.

She then picked out a nice, black dress—tight fitting and slimming. Fitting it over her head and trying to wiggle into it, she viewed herself in all directions. "Is my butt too big or something? Does it flatten my boobs?"

Nonetheless, Sakura thought that she looked sexy. Bringing her handbag, she opened it, pocketing the little zipper on the side. Slowly, blushing, she opened it, finding the condom that her friend had given her, in case "they were up to something freaky."

There was no backing out.

It would be tonight.

.

.

.

Sasuke made sure that he was looking suave and hot by the time Sakura came over. He didn't want her to see him so distraught and disappointed that he couldn't please his girlfriend.

As he was fixing his hair (a bad habit he picked up from her), she rang the doorbell. Cursing, he made his way over and nearly had a heart attack. She was looking absolutely stunning, more so than usual, and he couldn't help his manhood throb as he bent over trying to hide it.

"Sakura, you look…" he eyed her up and down. "Amazing."

Sakura giggled nervously, blushing. "Thanks…you too."

Sasuke realized the position he was in and stood straight up, using his shirt to hide his crotch. "Come in."

He led her by the hand into the kitchen, where she put her handbag down on the counter. Then, tucking stray hair away, she pushed him onto the couch and pinned him, straddling him and looking at him with nervous eyes, blushing profusely.

"Sakura, what are you—"

"Just…just be quiet, please," she whispered hoarsely as she twisted strands of his hair in her fists, kissing him with passion that she kept for him, her tongue forcing her way into hers. He responded eagerly, hands on her waist, moving down to her hips and then to her derriere, covered in soft fabric. She held back a squeak and kept on kissing him, sucking on his lips and licking the back of his teeth.

Before he knew it, she had taken off his shirt and was kissing his neck, biting the skin gently and fingering his torso. He moaned in ecstasy, holding her tighter to him as he ground against her gently, their hips rocking together.

"Sasuke-kun," she whispered, helping him take off her dress.

Just then, he knew that something was wrong. Her kisses seemed forced, her actions stiff. He gently pushed her off him and looked at her tousled face.

"W-What's wrong?" she asked.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his eyes serious. "Sakura, this isn't like you."

"I don't under…what do you mean?"

He took her face in his hands and looked into her scared irises. "You're not being yourself."

"What do you mean?"

Sasuke then took the girl into his arms and held her tight against his chest as he breathed in her floral scent. "I know what you're trying to do, and I don't want you to do it."

Sakura was at a loss for words. She couldn't bring herself to say a normal sentence. "I don't…what do you—?" Then, the tears came.

"Oh, sweetheart…please don't cry. You're breaking me. I don't want to see you like this," Sasuke said, wiping her tears away with his fingers and kissing her gently. "I just…what are you so desperate for?"

Sakura, through sobs, pulled away from Sasuke. "I—I don't want you to be bored with me. I know that you want something more, and secretly, I do too, but if we don't do it I'm afraid that you'll leave me and that you won't want me anymore…"

Sasuke sighed, pulling Sakura closer to him. "You idiot…" he murmured, stroking her hair. "I want you like that. But I don't want it if you don't want it. You try so hard for me without realizing how hard I try for you. And honestly, it's annoying me. I'm not bored with you. I'll never be bored with you. You're the only one that I want and I don't have eyes for anybody else."

"R-Really?" Sakura sniffed. Sasuke managed a smirk.

"Really."

He kissed her again, softly, his hand on the side of her face. She responded back with the same, shy zeal and they slowly pulled apart to look into each other's eyes as he embraced her tightly.

"We'll be each other's firsts one day, but right now, it's too early," he said, comforting her with his words.

"I love you," she murmured as her head was buried in his shoulder. "Sasuke-kun, I really do love you."

"I love you, too."

Although, it was a shame that she had dressed up so much for nothing…and that half-unzippered dress was showing very lacy underwear…

"Sasuke-kun, what are you poking me with?"

Yeah. He was a little too desperate.

Slight changes! Revised 7.8.14