1.
It was never about Beatrice's social standing, or the people she associated with.
Jimmy, quite frankly, couldn't give less of a fuck about that. Hell, her personality and looks weren't bad, either. Even if he'd rejected her the first go around, it didn't take long for him to notice how fully-formed she really was, and how, even with the metal-mouth, her eyes seemed to shine a bright color he didn't see very often. And she was more then ready to look over any of his bad spots, which was...amazingly rare, in any girl he'd met. She didn't hold simple things against him.
So what was it?
...he remembers the exact moment he lost attraction. She hadn't done anything different then her normal daytime ritual. He was gently, loosely holding her hand as she crossed her legs, looking deeply interested in the book in front of her. He was looking her over, at the way she'd gently lick her lips and shift her weight as she pondered over whatever held her attention. He opened his mouth, ready to speak, and she looked up at him.
And it died. Just like that, with no cause or reason, the attraction, the slight suggestion of possible love...died.
And she felt it, too. Her eyes widened, and then dropped, filling quickly with tears he knew she wouldn't let fall.
"I..." his mouth opened and closed, again and again, like a dumbstruck fish. "...fuck."
She left. Quickly. Holding her mouth and running out the door. He stared at the book bag she'd forgotten, so very confused.
The spark never came back.
2.
Jimmy didn't know if he'd ever had a crush on Pinky in the first place.
She was interesting, of course. And he loved to hear her talk, to dip her guard just slightly around him and insult person after person in this down right feisty passion.
But love? The beginnings? No, he didn't think so.
That didn't mean he felt nothing, though. As with Beatrice (who had somehow been able to forgive Jimmy's sudden shift of desire), he certainly liked Pinky. Besides her body—and God, did she have a body. To feel her slender legs wrap around his shoulders as he pushed his tongue inside her had been, and always will be, one of his favorite memories—and her riches, she had a flame within her that no one could control, no matter how evenly matched.
She was an outright Goddess. She'd been his Goddess. And their relationship died like an old light bulb: a flicker—she'd glanced at him, twice, during their last date. Twice, it looked like she didn't want to be, shouldn't want to be, with him. And he had glanced back, just as uncertain—and then an outage as they stepped outside of a carnival for the last time. They had kissed, said their good-byes, and promised to see each other again.
It never happened.
3.
Lola had lasted the longest.
Sure, he took down Johnny for a completely different reason, and he could absolutely care less about their relationship, but Lola had a relaxed, casual approach that seemed to work with Jimmy for a much longer time then Pinky or Beatrice.
They didn't say 'I love you' right off the bat, even though Jimmy could feel the genuine urge rise within him when he'd greet her at night. They didn't hold hands, or kiss. Sure, he'd give her a fancy bundle of roses and a box of chocolates, but that was customary at this point. She'd light a smoke, gently blow the fumes in his face, and whisper 'fuck me' in a whisper that drove Jimmy up the wall.
(She'd taken to whispering taboo desires in his ear as they passed each other in the hallway, her hand just barely brushing him in a way that insured paying attention to Hattrick would be downright impossible.)
So it wasn't surprising that their end wasn't a distinct event, even if Jimmy wished it had been. They simply found their visits dip in number, until, after a while, nothing. Jimmy would see Lola with Johnny, or her boy-toy of the week, and she'd wink before turning away. And he'd feel the slight ache of something that could've been long-term, but wallowing in the past never did any good, did it?
4.
Mandy nearly couldn't handle the breakup.
Jimmy felt bad for that. He'd really started dating her more out of physical attraction than mental in the first place (he'd had to promise Beatrice he wouldn't turn into a 'drooling, moronic jock bully' before hand, and when he'd explain the more physical aspect than the mental, she'd felt surprisingly better). Not that he thought she was an idiot. In fact, Mandy was much smarter than she ever gave herself credit for. He could tell that almost immediately; the way she backed off so easily after her downfall showed a self-awareness most others probably didn't notice in her.
So he'd gone along with a pretend pretext of something similar to love, feeling like an asshole. At least, he was perfectly happy to cheer her up, listen to whatever she had on her mind, and the longer he stayed—and the more he found himself finding her an interesting friend—the less he found himself even into the physical aspect of the relationship.
The relationship lasted all of 3 weeks. They'd fucked twice. And she had been so desperately in love because, for once in her life, she dated someone who didn't hate the sound of her voice.
5.
Through all of his relationships in Bullworth, Zoey was the only one to break it off instead of him. It had been late at night, 1 am, drawling near 2, as they walked back from Spencer Shipping. He was still in the fog of some sort of crush, love, something. He was still interested, still attracted.
And then she'd turned around and told him it was over.
It was like a punch in the gut, except Jimmy could've handled that a lot more practically. He took two steps back, blinking.
They'd been dating a week, and had only kissed twice.
He almost expected Zoey to reveal it had all been a joke, but instead, she'd pressed a slight kiss to his forehead. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
It would take two months for the reasoning to become obvious in the form of a baby bump.
6.
Gord pressed against him, giggling gently. "The effects in this movie are so terrible, aren't they, James?"
Jimmy pressed a hand to his mouth, somehow able to pass his nausea at the gore onscreen as slight indigestion. "Y...yeah. Terrible."
The woman in the movie screamed, and Jimmy visibly recoiled as something shot through her chest. Gord didn't seem to notice, bursting into a fit of laughter.
The night continued on like this, through movie after movie, before the richer male's eyes started to flutter, sleep on the horizon.
Today was a year. One year of late night horror movie marathons (that Jimmy pretended to act tough through because, damn it, he could handle it!), holding hands in broad daylight of the student body, Jimmy sneaking into the Harrington House just to avoid Derby's insistent whining, and love making more passionate than James Hopkins had ever felt in his entire life.
(And yet, he still worried. What if, one day, the attraction dropped? He simply lost interest? No...no, he couldn't handle the thought, because Gord was one of the best things to happen to him. Through all of his mommy issues and daddy issues, the rich boy had convinced Jimmy to open up completely and totally. And he'd never...he'd never done that before.)
Gord sighed gently, sleep catching friction, knowing he'd be asleep in the next ten or so minutes. "I love you, Mr. Hopkins. And all your pauper charm."
Jimmy's turn to giggle (though he wouldn't admit it). "And I love you, Gord Vendome, and all of the prissy spoiled nature that comes with."
Gord smiled, and his eyes finally dropped completely. Jimmy rested his head against the others, and his own eyes fluttered.
He was happier right now then he ever had been with the girls. And he knew, somehow, that that was never going to change.
Author's note: First published Bully fic woo! It's absolutely God awful, but...
Favorites and/or Reviews are appreciated.