Always

"Turn to page 394." Snape booms ominously. His voice sounds even eerier than usual in the darkened class room. Not a bad sound of eerie, though. More like a haunting, slow, cello's song.

I snap my head up, awakening from a fitful slumber. I desperately attempt flattening my curls, but to no avail. Uncomfortably, I sneak a quick glance at Potter, who is sitting a few rows in front of me. Weasley is beside him. Feeling reassured that neither boy will look back; I turn, drinking in Malfoy's perfect blond head. Please don't look at me, Malfoy! Please!I wish silently, fingers crossed.

I know that I will never have a chance with boys like these: rich like Draco, funny like Ron, or brave like Harry. They are the kinds of boys that the cheerleaders get, in the muggle world, and here at Hogwarts, things are the same. A common little witch like me could stand no chance compared to the other beauties.

Typically, my silent wish is the opposite of what it is today. Typically, I pray for one of them to at least catch a glance of me. But then again, I typically look at least a little bit better than I do this morning.

Sighing, I rest my head on my desk, and think back to last evening. After a hard, long, night of tossing and turning, I had been forced to open up my heart and mind for a little self-examination. I had realized that my obsession with finding love was leaving me drained and emotionally unstable, yet I was, in a sense, addicted. I spent every waking hour putting on a show, trying to be what each boy wanted. I could be a sweet Hufflepuff, cunning Slytherin, or witty Ravenclaw, if I tried hard enough. The problem was that with all of the pretending, not only was I was still unnoticed, but I no longer fit in with my own house: Gryffindor. I had wondered, as I lay in bed, why I had been chosen for her bravery. There was nothing brave about hiding from one's true self.

Last year, I think, things were so much easier! I sneak a compact mirror out of my bag, and stare at my frizzy hair, still a bit damp from my late shower. My face is pale and blotchy from a sleepless night, and I have deep, purple bags beneath my eyes.

Snape's voice fades to a dull humming as my head begins to nod.

A wad of paper hits me in the back of the head, and I quickly straighten myself, rubbing my eyes. Snape's back is turned, as he writes on the chalkboard, so I take a moment to compose myself. Looking around the room, my eyes widen at the sight of Dean and Seamus, two boys in my year, from Gryffindor house. They laugh, and flick another paper wad at me, missing.

I sigh and raise my hand. "Professor Snape, sir, may I be excused?" I ask, timidly.

"Why exactly makes you think that such dismissal is allowed?" He says, turning on me, slowly. "Professor Lupin might have let you run in and out of classes, but I certainly do not."

I flush, uncomfortably aware of the many eyes now trained intently on me. "I-I need to go to the Hospital Wing…" I mumble, glancing sideways.

"Pray tell, Ms. Astora, what exactly makes you think that you require the services of Madam Pomfrey?" Snape growls, menacingly.

I swallow, hard. "I- uh… I'm really nauseous. I think that I'm going to…"

Snape waves me to the door. "Gather up your books and spare us the details." The class titters, and I can feel my cheeks burning. "You may go, but don't let me catch you worming your way out of any of my other classes!"

Another wad of paper thuds dully against my back as I turn to leave. The class bursts into another barely contained gale of giggles.

"Um…sir?"

I turn to see a round faced boy with his hand up.

"What is it, Longbottom?" Snape snaps.

"Sir, I was just thinking…I could accompany Miss Astora…" The Longbottom boy whispers, nervously.

"That won't be necessary, Longbottom." Snape replies, coldly.

I turn the doorknob, but before I leave, I make sure to smile softly at the round faced boy. "Hey, thanks for offering…it's Neville, right?"

I don't go to the hospital wing, although I really do have a stomach-ache. Instead, I make a bee-line for the Gryffindor girls' dormitories. Flopping down on my bed, I pull out my compact mirror, looking dismally at my reflection, feeling ugly and utterly unworthy of love. At least I have blue eyes, I think. They are really the only striking thing about my, as my hair is a non-descript nut-brown like my skin.

I roll over, looking across the room towards my best friend's bed. Hermione Granger is the only person who really bothers to notice me, although I still don't feel especially special in her company. Hermione used to be an outcast too, until she fell in with Potter and Weasley in their first year.

What wouldn't I give to be running around the school between those two!? I think rather enviously. I must confess that I'm jealous of nearly every girl at Hogwarts; either for their looks, their friends, or their boys. I even envy ugly Pansy Parkinson almost as I do Hermione. As far as I know, Pansy is the only girl who can hang off of Draco Malfoy's slender arm and look like she belongs there.

With a groan of despair I bury my face in my pillow, crying until I eventually slip into an uneasy but much needed sleep.

"Alice! Wake up, girl."

I grunt drowsily, reburying my face in my pillow to block out the loud voice humming in my ear.

"Alice Andromeda Astora! Wake. Up." My cousin Lavender Brown stands over me, beating me playfully with a pillow.

Lavender is a pure-blood and as I'm only a half-blood, we didn't really visit each other too often over our childhood. My father is the brother of Mrs. Brown née Astora, but he married a Muggle. I wish that I could have gotten to know Lavender more, but my family tended to associate with the non-magical community, while hers stayed strictly with the members of her cast. By the time that we entered Hogwarts, she had already formed a tight knot of friends, and I was simply the scrawny looser that no one really wanted to be caught around. She's still nice to me, treating me a bit like an estranged little sister when we have occasion to talk, but those moments are few and far between.

"Whatisit?" I mumble incoherently. My head is pounding with a terrible ache, and I feel rather woozy to say the least.

"There's a boy- Longbottom, I think his name is- he said that he went up to the hospital wing to visit you after class, but according to Madam Pomfrey you never checked in, so he sent me up with a note to see if you were in the girls' dorm. Did you not go to the Hospital Wing after all?" Lavender sits on the edge of my bed, pulling her curly blond hair back into pigtails. The only similarity that we share is our strikingly blue eyes, which we inherited from the Astora side of our family. While I am dark and brown haired, Lavender is fair with golden tresses- defiantly the prettier of the two.

I sit up, rubbing my eyes and yawning. Lavender looks me over, mild repulsion written all over her face. "Good Merlin, girl. I was slightly worried when you missed dinner in the hall, but I can now officially declare you to be a wreck. You look awful." She grins, hopping from my bed with a toss of her enviably flawless hair. "I've got to meet my boyfriend, Seamus, but I'll see you later."

I groan, catching the folded slip of paper that she tosses me carelessly. There's that dreaded word again: "boyfriend". Life as a single witch really stinks. The note from Longbottom is sealed with a crooked wad of Spellotape, but I manage to open it without ripping the paper too terribly. I smile a bit as his painstakingly careful handwriting. It's not the prettiest that I've ever seen, but he clearly put a lot of effort into making this message as neat as possible.

"Dear Alice (is it okay if I call you that?), I was just wondering if you're all right. The Nurse said that you never came to the Hospital Wing, and I got worried. You looked ill during class (not that you looked bad, I think that you really looked nice). You don't need to respond, but if you're doing okay I'd like to hang out some time. (But only if you want to! Don't feel pressured.) Best Wishes- Neville Longbottom."

I grin, blushing at his cute letter. It's rambling and uncertain, sure, but I've never had a note like this before. My heart almost stops and melts at the sudden realization that he is asking to "hang out". What if he likes me? Then, with a sudden sickening jolt, I remember who this note is from. Neville Longbottom; the clumsiest boy in the third year- maybe in all of Hogwarts! Neville isn't even good looking, and everyone teases him. Great. I get asked out at last- by the dork whose favorite class is Herbology.

I bite my lip, a wave of guilt washing over me. Maybe I set my hopes up to high; not every boy is a Ron, Harry, or Draco, after all. I shouldn't be thinking so poorly of Neville. I don't even know him, but he's gone out of his way to make sure that I'm doing well. No one's ever given me that much care in all my years here… yet I'm treating him like he's dirt! I'm already single, so there's clearly nothing to lose if I meet him once or twice. I pull out a fresh roll of parchment and my favorite self-inking quill. After chewing on the azure feather for a bit, I jot a quick reply.

"Dear Neville. It's really nice of you to ask. I decided to go directly to my room instead of the Wing. Thank you for asking about me and taking the time to try to visit me. I'm really flattered, and sure, I'd like to get to know you better. Meet me by the edge of the lake this Friday at one o'clock- we can have a picnic. I'll see you then, Alice. (And yes, you can call me by my first name if I can call you by yours.)"

I hurry down to the common room, flattening my wild hair as I trip down the steps. "Hey! Is Neville Longbottom here?" I burst out into the cozy room, interrupting Dean Thomas and Parvati Patil in their game of Exploding Snap.

They shake their heads mutely, picking up a few scattered cards to restart their round. In a moment, Dean looks up. "I share a dorm with him. I could pass on a message, if you'd like."

I grin shyly, holding my roll of parchment out to him. "Please give him this." Dean takes the note absently, stuffing it in his pocket and continuing the game with a grunt.

I take a deep breath, turning away from the warmth of the roaring fire. There. I really just agreed to a date with the least popular boy at Hogwarts. He and I should be a great team. If this school had a year book, we'd be voted the most anonymous couple. Let's hope that I don't regret this!

The next day...

I bite my lip, spinning in front of the mirror for a better view of my dress. I'm a bit worried that an outfit with an open back will be too daring for the likes of Neville, but I also want to look appealing. I may be about to go out with a dork, but I don't have to look frumpy myself. I frown, waving my wand over the sundress. "Colovaria!" I exclaim, glad that I learned this tricky little charm. The fabric changes from pink to blue, a decidedly more agreeable alteration.

With a deep breath and a quick adjustment of my bun, I leave the full length bathroom mirror and descend to the Gryffindor Common Room. The walk to the lake is short and enjoyable. It's a warm day, but the sky is grey and cloudy and a cool, misty wind is blowing in from the lake. I've asked a house-elf to meet me at the large drift-wood stump on the waters' edge with a basket of food, but as soon as my destination comes into range, I see that his services will be unrequired. Neville Longbottom is sitting with his back to me, attempting to hold down a red and gold checked blanket in the strong breeze. An upside-down picnic basket rests on the sand, its lid flapping a bit forlornly.

Neville straightens up as soon as he sees me, smiling shyly. He's laid out an entire meal, and I blush at the amount of work that he's put into our little date. There's even a few glass jars resting on the drift-wood stump with candles flickering inside. "H-hi, Alice." He straightens his tie a bit nervously as I sit cross-legged next to him on the blanket.

"Hi Neville. Did you do all this? Thank you- it's lovely." I'm not really sure what to say, and I have a feeling that this is his first date as well, for he is at a complete loss for words. After a few awkward moments of grinning stupidly at each other, he breaks the silence.

"You look so pretty. I'm so glad that you came; it's the nicest thing ever. I mean, you're so beautiful… and I'm just me." He blushes, the wind whipping his dark brown hair.

I look down, biting my lip. "Don't say that! I'm not that special at all- and you may be yourself but I wouldn't ever want you to be someone else. I think that you're great. I may not know you well, but the fact that you went to all this effort to make things so cozy really means a lot to me. No other boy has ever had my best interests in mind like you. Ever!" I can feel the color rising to my cheeks as well, and I laugh a bit. "Should we eat?"

Neville grins, gratitude shining in his green-grey eyes. "Sure! There's a little of everything. I hope you're not allergic."

"Thanks. I'm not- I hope." I grab a beef sandwich from the hamper, and we eat quietly for several minutes, staring dreamily out over the lake. "Do you like me?" I ask suddenly. "I mean, as more than friends?"

Neville chokes a bit on his salad, staring at me with wide eyes. "Would you be mad if I said yes? I mean, I understand if you already have a boyfriend… and I don't expect you to like me, or anything! I don't want to push your boundaries."

My heart gives a nervous flutter. At first, I had dreaded a date with this boy. What would people think of me if they knew that I had gone out with Neville Longbottom, the most bumbling student at Hogwarts? Sitting here now, however, I'm suddenly realizing that even if he's not popular, rich, or particularly stunning, he's got a really sweet heart. "I- I like you too. I defiantly don't have a boyfriend… and well, I think you're a cool guy." I stutter. I do like him; in fact the time that I've spent with him is infinitely more real and fulfilling than any of the fantasy scenarios that I've imagined with my dream crushes.

Neville rocks back, breathing an audible sigh of relief. "Good. I- well, to be honest, I thought that you didn't know that I even existed."

I look down at my lap with a tremor of guilt. I hadn't really known that he had existed! When I really think about it, there was this time in our first year when I tripped and spilled my books. Had Neville been the round-faced boy to pick them up? And in Herbology in our second year… he had helped me with my exams more than once! How could I have ignored him so completely?! This entire time I've been obsessed with getting the Prince Charming… but he could have been waiting quietly for me all these years. I've been searching in the wrong places. "Neville… you've done a lot for me… I'm really sorry! I haven't returned any of the favors that you've done for me." I say softly.

To my surprise, he touches my hand lightly, entwining his fingers around mine. "It's fine. I couldn't have expected you too do anything! I've always loved you though. I always will, if you let me…" He stops, looking up at the cloudy sky with his eyes half closed. "Would it be alright if I kissed you? On the cheek… if you'd prefer!"

My mouth falls open. "I just can't understand… why have you liked me? It's not like I'm pretty or smart. I'm not popular- not even rich. I'm a half-blood!"

"Why would that matter?" He frowns, looking slightly confused. "I don't care about blood-status or anything like that. I'm not like Malfoy! Plus, I think that you're beautiful… but even if you looked like Trevor I wouldn't care! I look at what's inside- and I really like you for who you are."

I'm overcome by the most overwhelming sense of adoration. Never in my life has one of my peers told me that I'm special simply for who I am. The few boys who have bothered to notice me typically ram in a few sharp jabs about my hair or "nerdiness", and the girls only seem to care about clothes and how many guys have asked you out. "Really? Th-thank you!" I gasp, and before I know what I'm doing, I lean forward and press my lips to his cheek.

Neville blinks at me in surprise, awkwardly throwing his arm over my shoulder and pulling me next to him after a moment. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

His question is so simple and cute that I break out into giggles. "Yes! I'll always love you too."

Neville blushes, grinning from ear to ear. "You don't care what people will think of you?" he asks shyly, wrapping his cloak around my shoulders for extra warmth as a cold blast of wind hits us.

"No. I've made myself sick worrying for three years. I think that it's time that I give that old habit up." I crinkle my nose and wink at him. "In fact, I'm going to let my hair down to show the Wizarding world that I'm glad about who I am. I used to hate my curls… but they help make me the unique person that I am." I yank the binding of my bun out, letting my slightly frizzy hair cascade over my shoulders with an air of finality.

Neville strokes my curls gently, looking at me with his beautiful, sad, eyes. "I'm glad. I can't thank you enough for seeing past what everyone thinks about me; it means more to me than you could ever know. Remember this if you ever feel like you're not perfect again; I always liked you for the entirety of your being, both your perfections and imperfections. I love you." He looks uncertain about the right choice of words, yet I can see that they are entirely heart-felt.

"I love you too." I whisper, and he kisses me, on the lips this time. There is something so beautiful about knowing that you are being held in the arms of someone who isn't judging or evaluating you in the least, but simply appreciating you for your originality. "And even if our paths don't intertwine forever, know that I will never forget you. I'll always love and cherish you for the boy who showed me that I am worth more than my status or face. I'm so glad that you were enough of a Gryffindor to ask me out, because Merlin knows that I was too self-centered and spineless." I laugh, and we fall back onto the red blanket to watch the sky with our fingers lovingly intertwined.

23 years later...

"Rosalie! Get in the car right now!" I beckon my daughter furiously through the open window of our car. She crinkles her nose and sticks her book into her backpack before opening the door and sliding into the back seat.

"Sorry… I didn't realize that we were leaving just yet." She leans forward, her long black hair cascading over her shoulders.

"It's fine dear. Oh, you look so beautiful." I blink back tears as I gaze into her big dark eyes. "I'm going to miss you so much." I half sob half laugh as I cover my mouth.

"Honey, we're not even out of the driveway yet! Don't start crying yet." My husband squeezes my hand as we screech out onto the main road. "It's going to be a long drive, save your tears for the station."

I laugh, laying my hand on his leg. "I'm glad I married a Muggle-born. Think of driving to King's Cross with a pure-blood husband! We'd all be dead by now. Rosalie, the first thing that I want you to do when you get to Hogwarts is give Neville Longbottom my love. Tell him that I miss him, will you?"

"Mom!" Rosalie rolls her eyes as she looks over the edge of her book. "He won't be Mr. Neville anymore- he'll be Professor Longbottom. I can't just tell a professor that you miss him, especially not in front of the entire school!"

"I know, love, but the thing is that Neville and I have a sort of… pact. Have I told you our story?" I pull down the small mirror before me, tucking my brown curls behind my ears as my husband chuckles.

"No! What happened? Was he- Mom, was Mr. Neville your boyfriend at school?" My young daughter sets her book down, scooching to the edge of her seat in eager curiosity.

I laugh, gazing before me with a nostalgic smile. "Yes. He was the first boyfriend that I ever had. We dated for three years, but during our sixth year at Hogwarts my father died. My mother was, as you know, a Muggle; she decided to withdraw me from school and move to Ireland where the rest of her family lived. Oh, I was so upset! I cried into Neville's arms for four solid hours the day before she came to pick me up. We had to break up- a relationship between countries just wouldn't work."

Rosalie gasps in horror. "How could Grandma have done that?!"

I laugh. "She didn't really understand how much Hogwarts and my boyfriend meant to me. She was never a huge supporter of magic- it simply didn't make sense to her." I look back towards my daughter to make sure that she understands, and am relieved to see her nodding. "Anyway, Neville promised me that he would wait for me, and that as soon as he graduated he would take the Flu Network out."

"Did you two stay together then?" Rosalie interrupts eagerly.

I shake my head slightly, gazing out of the window. "No. I turned him down. My mother and I lived in Ireland for six years; I attended a Muggle high school and eventually went to college there as well. It wasn't till I graduated that I returned to England. I booked a room in the Leaky Cauldron, and do you know who the first person that I saw there was? Neville Longbottom."

My daughter gives a squeal of surprise and claps her hand over her mouth. I grin, knowing that if any child in the Wizarding world has an appreciation for a good story, it is my little Rosalie.

"As I found out later, he had married the Landlady, one of my fellow Hogwarts students, the previous year. Her name was Hannah Abbott and she had been in Hufflepuff house. You couldn't imagine our shock at seeing one another. We just stood there staring, unable to grasp the arrival of the other! It was like meeting an ancient ghost. After a while one of us managed to choke out 'Hello', and we quickly warmed up and got to talking. As you know, we've been fast friends ever since. When we were in our third year, Neville taught me how to embrace myself and stop worrying about what others thought of me; we made a promise to each other that no matter what happened, we would always love the other. Our relationship is no longer romantic, but nothing can change the bond that we share." I wipe away a stray tear that has leaked from my eyes and is rolling down my cheek. "So, that's our story. Will you give Neville my love after all, then?"

Rosalie grins, and I can see her nodding reflection in the rear-view mirror. "I will. How did you meet Dad, then? Why haven't I ever asked about this before? I never knew that you were so interesting, mom!"

I laugh, turning to look at my husband. "I'm not all that interesting, Rosalie. I met your father the very next day, actually. We bumped into each other in Diagon Alley. He said 'I haven't seen you in a while!' and I said 'I could say the same'. He asked me to dinner- Lord knows why, we were never close at school." I wink at him, and he turns from the road to grin mischievously at me.

"Your mother and I hit it off fairly fast, I must say. She was never much to look at during our school days, but six years in Ireland did wonders." He jokes. I slap his knee in faux annoyance, frowning petulantly. "Ow! I swear, woman, I'm too old for your spunk." We all break out into laughter, and I find myself marveling at the wonders of having a family as the country road melts into London's bustling streets.

Kings Cross Station doesn't look a day older than I remembered it from my school days, and once we step through the barrier to platform 9 3/4, I'm pleasantly surprised to find that it has hardly aged either. Through the tendrils of smog drifting from the Hogwarts Express, familiar figures catch my eye. I can see my cousin Lavender Brown with her husband, but I keep pushing Rosalie through the crowd, not wanting to stop.

"I'll miss you so much, baby." My husband pulls our little girl into a crushing hug, and I'm surprised to see a single tear shining in his dark eyes.

"Will you write?" I hold my little girl's shoulders, staring down into her beautiful, dark, face with utmost adoration. "You better! Tell us what house you get as soon as you possibly can; if it's not Gryffindor like your father and I, then I'll probably die of sorrow." I tease, straightening the crooked pink bow in her black tresses.

"Mom! I'll be a Ravenclaw- I just know it. You won't really be disappointed, will you?" She looks faintly worried as she fingers the strap of her book-laden backpack.

"Your father and I will always be proud of you; whatever happens, just make sure to remember that." I reassure her.

My husband shoves her forward lightly as the conductor signals that the train is ready for boarding. From across the station, I can faintly make out a group of figures that I know well; my old crushes Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, and their wives. I see that Ron has married my old friend Hermione Granger. I couldn't be happier for the two of them. "Have a nice trip!" I call, waving farewell as my little girl mounts the steps to the Hogwarts Express. "Make sure to study well, and don't sass your teachers! And one last thing- don't idolize finding a boyfriend. You're a beautiful young woman, Rosalie Thomas, but don't let your body or status define you. I only hope that when you find that special boy, he gives you the unconditional love that you deserve." I wipe away the tears that are coursing down my cheeks as my girl waves from the window of the train, mouthing her love and farewell wishes to us.

My husband wraps his strong arms around me, burying his chin in my hair. "She's going to be alright, love. She's going to have the time of her life." He whispers, as I sob faintly.

"I know, Dean Thomas, I know." I look up, beaming tearfully at my partner. I never would have known that the preoccupied boy who ultimately helped Neville and I find each other would have become my future husband. Funny how things work out, I suppose.

Finis

A/N: This short story isn't much- just an idea that popped into my head and I wanted to get out on paper! So don't judge... it was really just some random scribblings. ^_^ Regardless, I hope you enjoyed, and if you have a spare moment, please consider dropping a review in the box below, or checking out some of my other stories!