Daggers to the Heart
(A Scogue fanfic / X-Men Evolution)
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine...
A dagger stabbed her heart.
"I'm sorry, Rogue, but I can't give you..what you want.."
Rogue bit her lower lip as she looked up to Scott.
"Even..on mah birthday?..."
"No...I can't give you a hug...I don't want to hurt Jean."
Damn that redhead for always getting in the way of the Goth's happiness. As it is, the former was one of the sources of the latter's unhappiness. Jean can touch anyone. She can touch Scott. But Rogue can't. Even the slightest touch can prove lethal. And as she had touched Scott once when she had absorbed his powers, Rogue can see through the mess. In his feelings, there were none for her that would be like how he felt for Jean.
The Goth bowed her head as she heaved a sigh.
"It's all raht, ah guess...ah mean..never mahnd," Rogue said as she turned her back and went back inside the mansion where the good professor was holding triple birthday parties for his students (Rogue, Sam, and Amara).
Scott sighed. He looked at Rogue as she strolled back inside. All those times she had been in the Institute, Scott knew about Rogue's infatuation on him. She never told anyone but Kitty, but Scott can sense these things. Not even Kurt nor Evan had pointed this out to him. And of course, it didn't help that Jean knew. The telepathic didn't like the Goth when she knew about how Rogue felt for Scott, but Jean kept things to herself.
"I'm really sorry Rogue. I don't want to hurt your feelings by letting you hope. You are a good friend, and I wish I could give you what you want even on this day. But I can't."
Two years later...
Professor X was ill, and this worried Scott the most. Though Charles only had the flu, the epidemic had spread throughout the country. A number of people had died, a few number of them mutants. They died not because of the virus's effect to the mutant immune system. They died because they were already sick and and their immune systems shut down.
Kurt and Kitty had arrived immediately upon hearing the news of the professor's ailment. Evan and Jean had arrived the next day. But Scott was perplexed. The person he knew close to Charles Xavier had never even answered to his calls. Rogue's phone would always direct Scott's calls to voicemail.
"Vat's the matter, my friend? Is something the matter?" The fuzzy elf asked Scott that afternoon.
"It...it's Rogue. I tried calling her a number of times, yet she won't answer my calls. I'm worried something must have happened to her."
Kurt's mind kicked in. Somehow, there was something in Scott's voice that sounded..unusual.
"You think, like, she'd probably caught the flu too?" Kitty asked. She had accidentally overheard the conversation and decided to join her friends.
Scott sighed as he combed his hair with his fingers.
"I...I don't know, Kitty. I hope she wasn't inflicted with it too."
They were still talking when Logan came in the living room. With him was Rogue. Scott's eyes widened in surprise, but he was agape. Kitty and Kurt stood from the couch and went over to their former team mate. Rogue still had the Gothic look on her, but her hair had grown a little.
"Rogue! We were just talking about you! Scott's been trying to call you and asked you to come home, but you never answered. We thought you already came down with the flu!"
Rogue gave a wan smile as she looked at her former roommate and at her half-brother.
"Ah..ah just got well from the flu..."
"Did you really?" Scott had already joined the pack. Logan snickered as he turned to walk away.
"Yeah. She's still not feelin' any better yet, Slim. Saw her at the bus stop this morning lookin' all groggy. So I took her with me in case some 'mishap' should happen."
Scott looked at Logan. He wanted to say thank you, but Logan had already ducked to his corner of the Institute.
Rogue asked Kitty to guide her to the professor's room, to which Kitty said no. She asked Kurt to teleport and tell Professor X that Rogue had arrived yet was still in recovery for the same illness he had. The fuzzy elf did as told and disappeared into thin air.
"How are you feeling, Rogue? Do you need anything?" Scott asked.
Rogue shook her head. "Ah'm fahn, thanks for askin'."
"I was worried because you didn't answer my calls..because.." Scott suddenly felt panic rising to his brain. He didn't want to admit he had been worried for Rogue because he felt guilty.
"Something wrong, Scott?" Kitty asked.
"I...I mean..."
"It's all raht...Ah'm sawry for not answerin' yawr call." Which ah'd never do again anyway, Rogue said as she looked at the window.
Kitty sensed a heavy feeling between her two friends and decided to exit by getting Rogue something to eat and drink. When Half-Pint left, Scott sat beside Rogue. He could feel the sense of uneasiness hanging on the air.
"How...how have you been?" Scott said to start a conversation.
Rogue blinked her eyes as she tried sorting out what she had to say. After graduation, Rogue had decided to cut all ties with everyone, but most especially with Scott Summers. The latter had sensed this feeling when he tried calling everyone when he wanted to hang out with them, and he felt bad for Rogue not coming to the events.
"Just goin' about mah studies, that's all..."
"Studies? Or were you just trying to avoid me?"
"Suit ya-self, Summers."
"Look, I'm very sorry for what happened on your birthday... I didn't mean - "
"To hurt me...yeah I know you wouldn't do that. It's all raht. No hard feelings, Scott. I know you wouldn't even do that least thing for me." Not even when Jean's around.
"You're still hurting, aren't you? I'm sorry if...I didn't feel the same way."
Rogue didn't say anything. She'd been caught. He knew all along.
"But we're friends, right? And it hurts me that you never even came once when I called for us to get together once in a while."
"You forgot ah'm anti-social..."
"But you're not when it comes to me. I know it Rogue. You just can't avoid me -"
"But you can avoid me and avoid doing even that simple request I asked. That's dichotomy on your part, Scott."
"Look, I'm sorry.."
"It's all raht. Ah'm over it. Ah just didn't want to meet up with you because..."
Rogue didn't have to finish what she said for Scott to get the gist. The Goth snickered as she gingerly stood up. Scott was quick to his feet and helped his friend.
"Where to?"
"To mah former room. Ah could use some sleep whahl ahm here."
To Rogue's surprise, Scott gave her a back hug. And suddenly, all the feelings she'd been trying to suppress suddenly surfaced. She was so petrified and tongue-tied she didn't realize silent tears falling down her cheeks. She was all the more surprised when she felt Scott's head rest on her back, trying to muffle something she guessed were sobs.
"I missed you, my dear old friend. I missed you so much..."
"Scott...Ah...ah..."
"It hurts so bad that I can't even give you even a small hug. And I'm the cause for your unhappiness. I didn't want you to hope, Rogue. I would never do that to you. I know I have Jean, but half of me feels empty knowing that you're not making peace with me. I won't lie Rogue. You felt that I could never love you like how I feel for Jean, but I need you too, Rogue. I missed you so much...so much that it tears me inside..."
Fat tears streamed down her cheeks again. Yes, she knew that she could never have the love she wanted. But hearing that Scott missed her sent more daggers to her heart. For in reality, she missed him too...so bad that it tore her apart the past two years.