Twas the night before Christmas and all through the street
Not a creature was stirring, not even the homeless dude Queet.
The doors were all locked and guarded with care
In hopes the team Weiss soon wouldn't be there.
The target was nestled all snug in his bed.
While visions of male strippers danced through his head.
The dude was an asshole, this all Weiss knew.
This guy once flushed Persia's head down the loo.
With the snipers picked off, Weiss were startled by a clatter.
Yohji sprang up to see what was the matter.
Away to the roof he flew like a flash
Which gave Ken time to look at his cute lil' ass.
The Moon on the breast of Schuldig's new gloves
Gave the lustre of midday to objects above.
"Brad, I told you Nagi was fatter" Schuldig replied.
"He says he's been dieting but I know that he lied."
Yohji crept up behind them all cat-like and quick.
When Schuldig whacked his head with a stick.
More rapid then Eagles, his team they all came.
When Yohji howled, and shouted, and called Schwarz mean names.
"YOU CENSORED, YOU CENSORED.
YOU CENSORED, AND CENSORED
YOU BIG PILE CENSORED!
YOU CENSORED! YOU CENSORED!
CEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENSORED!
CENSORED, CENSORED, CENSORED!
CENSORED, CENSORED!
CENSORED!"
Like the dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly
Weiss and Schwarz both mounted to the sky.
Up on the rooftop the assassins they flew.
Ignoring Queet and target-dude too.
And then the target screaming they heard from the roof
But they shrugged it off ignoring the doof.
But then the people came who of fashion they are defiant
Those creepy, weird, dumb-asses we all hate, Schreient.
They were all dressed in pink, from their heads to their foot
And they were covered in sparkles, glitter (and soot).
A bundle of purple weapons they had in their stashes.
Schwarz and Weiss decided to kick those bitches's assess.
Schwarz's eyes—how they twinkled! Weiss's dimples how swell!
Their cheeks were like roses, these dudes were mad as hell!
Neu foamed at the mouth, as Yohji choked her dead. (Again….)
But after she fell on him, he wished he picked Tot instead.
Omi's cute little moth was drawn up like a bow, and Farfarello's hair was as white as the snow.
The stub of a knife he held in his teeth, and the blood from tot encircled his head like a wreath!
Schuldig had a broad grin and Nagi a little round belly,
When he floated it shook like a bowl of full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right fat little elf,
and Aya laughed when he saw him, in spite of himself.
A flick of his hand, and a twist of his head.
Made Aya think in a few minutes he would be dead.
Schwarz and Weiss came to a truce, and spoke not a word,
as the last of Schreient flew off the roof like a bird.
Nodding at each other they all took log
and went to the Koneko to drink Egg Nog.
When the fun was over Crawford sprang in his car and to his team gave a whistle.
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. (What the frick?)
But Weiss heard as Schwarz drove out of sight.
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"