Story Info
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of Aaron Sorkin, NBC. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Author's Notes: I'm not really much of a 'humour' writer, and this is my first real attempt at it in the West Wing Fandom.
I hate cats.
"Josh open the door quickly!"
I do as instructed as Donna rushes out to the car and jumps in the back with the cardboard box held as stably as possible in her arms. She places it on the seat beside her and I watch as it moves and hops about while Donna starts speaking to it.
Maybe the cardboard box wasn't such a good idea but the girl in the office said it would hold him. Of course I probably should have known better then to trust a woman in her twenties who still looked like a teenager wearing a shirt that proclaims she's 'sizzling hot' in orange flames.
Okay the box definitely wasn't a good idea, cos that would be the cat's head pushing through the box like that scene from Alien.
Donna's indicating for me to get into the car. She's got to be kidding.
I am not driving that car with that animal not properly contained!
"Donna I'm not driving with that…thing in the back!" I yell in at her.
As she glares at me the black and white furball jumps into the front seat his eyes moving frantically from one side of the car to the other and it jumps onto the front dash, his paws scratching wildly at the window.
I swear to God if he damages anything in that car, I'll drive him alright. Right into an early grave!
Donna leans between the seats and lifts him up, careful of the damaged leg.
Damn cats always getting into fights.
She cradles him against her chest whispering to him before placing him on the seat beside her petting his back her hair falling like a golden curtain over her shoulder.
Damn cats.
I feel a tug on my pants leg and look down frowning at the two big brown eyes looking up at me.
"Daddy you bringing Boots to the doctor?"
And there it is.
The reason I'm willing to go through this hell.
The reason I have a cat in the first place. (Damn CJ and her birthday presents!)
Chrissie.
I lift her up and brush a lock of stray curly, blonde hair behind her ear.
"Of course I am sweetie. And then we'll bring him back and he'll be all better."
Behind me I can hear Julie snicker and I turn my head to glare at her but it has little effect. That girl is far too cocky for a seventeen year old. What happened to the good ole days when children respected their elders? Especially elders who aren't their relatives but their neighbours, employers?
But Chrissie loves her so I can hardly get rid of her.
"I think you better go. You're appointment's in ten minutes and it'll take at least fifteen to get there."
"Great." I mutter before turning towards her and handing over Chrissie who rests her head sadly underneath Julie's chin.
"We'll be home soon honey, I promise." I run a finger down that still baby soft skin of her cheek and turn zipping up my coat.
Julie snickers again and Donna looks at me like I've lost my mind.
"I'm opening the door. Keep hold of him." I yell at her and she rolls her eyes sarcastically at me.
As quickly as possible I open the door and slide in.
God it already smells like cat in here.
I turn and glare at the black and white face.
He glares right back at me and makes the most awful sound I've ever heard.
I swear to God he knows where we're taking him. He looks like he's about to pounce. Like he's waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. Like a Republican reporter interviewing the Democratic candidate for Congress. Like-
"Josh what are you wearing?"
I look up at Donna who's frowning at me.
"What?"
"The baseball cap I get but…Josh it's at least 80 outside and you're wearing a large fishing jacket zipped up to the top. I can barely see you're nose!"
"Good." I turn around and start the engine. The cat's ears pick up and he looks startled but Donna pets him again and starts talking to it like a baby. "You think I'm going to expose any area of skin more then necessary for that thing to attack?"
Donna looks unimpressed in the mirror.
"Yes, because I'm going to let the cute little domestic kitty maul my husband."
"Donna, he's a big cat!"
"Josh, he's really not."
"Is so."
"Is not."
We start off down the road and really I'm having trouble concentrating because I can feel his eyes boring into the back of my head. He's probably eyeing my exposed ears just waiting for an opening.
My eyes keep flicking to the rear-view mirror.
"Josh!"
"Wha-" I manage to stop the car just in time, but perhaps not as gently as I could have cos I can see the cat scrambling up the back seat his claws deeply imbedded in the material as Donna grunts a little trying to pry him off.
Damn the red lights. Everything is conspiring against me!
"Donna?" My voice doesn't usually sound that high, right?
"Josh calm down." She snaps at me. "It's okay Boots, it's okay." She lays him across her lap and coos to him but he still lets out moans as he stands up and looks out the window.
"Donna, why is he standing up?"
"He's curious Josh. Don't worry I won't let him molest you." She adds mockingly.
Eventually the lights turn green and we start again, as does the whining from the back seat.
I flick on the radio to some classical music station and surprisingly he's a little quieter.
"You alright back there?"
"Yeah, he's just sitting quietly. Aren't you Boots?"
After another six minutes of blessed nothingness happening we pull off the busy street and into the parking lot beside the vet's building.
"How we gonna get him inside?"
"Can't you carry him?" I ask bewildered.
"I could but the streets a lot busier then at home, he might get spooked and jump out of my arms."
"Can't you hold him really tightly?" I suggest weakly.
"Josh!"
"Alright, alright. What do you want me to do?"
"Go inside and get a cage from them."
"What if they don't have one?"
"It's a vet's Josh. I'm pretty sure they'll have a cage you can borrow for a few minutes."
"Okay, okay." I place my hand on the door handle and look back at her. "I'm gonna open the door now, are you sure you-"
"I'm holding him Josh, don't worry."
I get out thankful of the fresh air and unzip the jacket taking it off quickly. It really is quite warm.
It only takes a moment to reach the building and the bell jingles overhead as a brunette with glasses looks up at me from behind the desk.
A different receptionist thank God.
"Hi, I'm Josh Lyman I have an appointment for 5:40."
She types away on the computer before raising blue eyes back towards me. "It's a cat right?"
"Yeah, there's something wrong with his leg." She nods and fills out a little slip of white paper. "Listen could I possibly get a cage or something? I was in earlier and the girl gave me this box that was meant to hold him but didn't." Even to myself I sound peeved and she looks back up at me a sympathetic look on her face.
"Those cardboard boxes are useless. I don't know why they sell them to people."
"Tell me about it."
She smiles and looks over towards the back of the office. "Tom, could you grab that white cage behind you and get a cat from the parking lot?"
A burly looking man ambles towards us, a toothy smile of his face. "Sure, no problem. What colour's the car?"
"Uh, it's a silver Sabre. My wife's in the back with the cat."
He nods seriously. "I'll be back in a moment."
He leaves and I let out a sigh of relief.
"You can sit over there." The assistant points to a row of seats where already a few people are waiting. "We'll call you when they're ready."
I nod my thanks and gratefully sink into the moulded plastic. On the ground beside me a bulldog pants in the heat, his beady eyes looking helplessly up at me.
You and me both buddy.
The door jingles again and I look up to see the toothy guy carrying in the cage about a foot in front of him with the cat spitting and clawing at the cage. Donna follows him apologising profusely while he puts the cage down beside me and smiles tightly at her.
"I'm so sorry. He's not usually like this. Boots is a quiet cat, a big teddy bear really."
"Not your fault, it comes with the territory."
It's only then I notice the wetness covering his hands and the front of his sweater. He turns and leaves and I look at Donna curiously.
She leans her head closer to mine across the mettle cage and whispers.
"He peed all over him when he put him in the cage."
I can't help the laugh that bursts from me and Donna hisses at me though she can't keep the smile from her face.
I quickly sober up when a thought comes crashing through my brain.
"Did he do it in the car? Did he? Donna I don't want to be driving a car that smells of cat pee!"
"I don't think so. It was only when he was being put into the cage." Her voice sounds far too uncertain for my liking.
"Why do I have a problem believing that?"
"Josh Lyman? The vet is ready to see you now."
We both get up and Donna looks at me surprised.
What?
"What?"
"You're coming with us?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"
"You do know that a vet is a doctor for animals right?"
"What are you trying to say here Donna?"
She shrugs gracefully her lips pressed tightly together as she carefully picks up the cage. "I'm just saying, perhaps it would better if you stayed out here. Remember the Delivery Room incident?"
"I was tired." I say defensively not that I need to defend myself.
I was tired.
"Josh, you fainted."
"Donna!" I nudge her in the ribs as we walk past the couple with the bulldog trying, unimpressively I might add, to smother their laughing. "I was tired."
"So you decided to go to sleep on the floor?"
Unfortunately that's the end of the argument because the vet is taking the cage away and opening it. So therefore I'm staying as close to the door as possible, away from the killer cat.
"Could you just hold him there for me?" The bleached blonde says to Donna.
The cat lets out a moan that makes me wince as the vet prods at his leg moving the joint and trying to see through his abundant hair.
She sighs and stands back.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to shave his leg, do you think you could hold him for a moment while I get a nurse?"
"Of course." Donna nods moving her head closer to the cat. "Poor Boots." She murmurs, her lips pouting rather beautifully.
I can handle shaving. Shaving's okay. I shave. I shave everyday. What so big about shaving a cat?
And yet I'm beginning to get that sickening feeling.
Which is stupid cos he's just gonna be shaved.
The vet arrives back with a tired but smiling nurse and a rather scary looking razor.
The nurse takes over from Donna, Boots obviously dislikes the idea and starts to buck up. Then again who could blame him? I wouldn't want anyone but Donna petting or rubbing me all over.
Lucky cat.
The whiz of the razor brings me back to the present and I'm lucky enough to not have a good view of the ordeal. Non too quickly the vet finishes and frowns as she examines the leg.
"When did you first notice there was something wrong with Boots."
"About two nights ago." Donna replies. "Well the thing is, he was away for a few nights and when he arrived home we noticed he wasn't putting any weight on his back leg. Is he okay?" Her face frowns as she looks down at the restrained animal.
"If you don't mind me asking, why didn't you bring him in sooner?"
Donna turns and glares at me.
What?
"What?"
"Josh said he might have a dead leg and just need a day or two to get over it."
The vet blinks at me disbelieving. I feel the need to explain.
"You know, like in football?" Still with the blank looks. "Come on, a player gets a dead leg and gets over it in a few days."
"Your cat doesn't play football Mr Lyman." The vet says dryly. "What he does do however is fight. You can see here." She points to a spot on his leg and I move forward curious.
Okay. Shouldn't have done that.
The cat's got a hole in his leg.
Oh God, you can see his insides and other bits that really you're not meant to see.
"I take it your cat's not neutered?"
"No. We never really thought…should we get him neutered?"
"Yes. It looks like he's been in a fight and another Tom Cat has bitten his leg down to the bone and an infection has set in-"
"Donna."
"Not now Josh."
Why are there spots dancing in front of my eyes?
"Donna!"
"What Josh?"
"I think I'm gonna…I'm feeling a little…"
"Oh God Josh." She rushes over beside me and takes one of my hands. "I told you to stay outside, but no you just gotta do whatever seems the macho thing to do."
"Perhaps it would best if you wait outside Mr Lyman?" The nurse suggests smiling.
"Uh yeah, I, I think I will."
I think I stumble rather then walk out of there and sit down in the nearest chair.
That was quite possibly the worst sight I've ever seen apart from when Chrissie was born, there was blood everywhere.
Oh, best not to think about that either right now.
I lean back in the chair and close my eyes.
Why did CJ have to have a cat anyway?
And why did CJ's cat have to have kittens?
And why the hell did she give one to Chrissie for her birthday?
I know Donna's always wanted a cat to keep the rodents away, something about never being more then five feet away from a mouse or a rat or something.
But that cat brings more mice home then keeps them away. Seriously, I've lost count the number of times I've walked out the door and found a dead mouse or rat on the doorstep. Donna claims he's doing it to show off his hunting prowess.
Please.
Personally I think he does it because he knows it pisses me off, not to mention making me feel more then a little queasy to see the soggy furry remains of what used to be a poor helpless little mouse.
Okay, so it wouldn't be poor or helpless if it was in my house, I'd kill the little bastard, but still it's not nice to see a mouse slit from head to foot, now is it?
"Josh?"
I open my eyes and get out of the chair. "Donna, hey. Where's the cat?"
"They're keeping him in overnight."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, he's got an infection and they need to put him under anaesthetic and scrape it out."
I swallow hard. "Scrape?"
"Yeah," she says breezily. "They're going to make the wound bigger and scrape it all out. Hopefully it hasn't gotten at the joint, but if it has he'll have to get x-rays and probably have surgery."
"Surgery?"
"Yes."
"For a cat?"
"Yes Josh!"
"That doesn't sound a little ridiculous to you? A cat having surgery?"
"No it doesn't Josh. And you know what else doesn't sound ridiculous to me? Praying to God that that cat gets better so that we don't have to tell Chrissie her little kitty's not coming back."
"Yeah. She's not going to be happy when we come home without him. I told her I'd bring him back all better."
She smiles wistfully at me. "You're such a big softie Lyman."
"Only when it comes to my girls." I wrap an arm around her shoulders and kiss her cheek.
She sighs tiredly. "They're going to neuter him as well. It won't guarantee him not getting into any more fights but it reduces the chances a lot."
"I hope he won that last fight." I decide feeling sorry for the moggie.
"Oh? Since when have you felt anything but resentfulness for that cat?"
"Poor fella's not gonna be getting any anymore. I hope she was worth it."
"Josh." She shakes her head laughing before climbing into the car.
"What?" I ask starting the engine. "I just-"
My eyes widen and I look around over my shoulder towards the back seat.
"What is it?" Donna follows my gaze seeing nothing out of the ordinary.
"Do you see the number of cat hairs in here Donna? And does," I sniff again to be sure, "does it smell like cat pee in here Donna?"
"No Josh, it's your imagination." She replies feebly and out of the corner of my eye I can see her wrinkle her nose and bite her lip.
Well how reassuring is that?
"Donna."
"Come on Josh, it'll only take a few minutes to run a vacuum over it. It'll be cleaner then it's been since you first bought it."
"Fine, but you're doing the cleaning." I tell her driving out onto the street.
The drive home is made in relative silence, the only sounds coming from the idiot DJ on the radio that Donna seems to find hilarious.
You ever hear Donna laugh?
It's like music. Really. And Chrissie's inherited it. I'd sit through anything to hear my girls laugh, even this fool.
When we pull up to the drive I can see Chrissie jumping up and down at the sitting room window, her hands pressed against the glass. She turns around and staggers off, towards Julie I presume and the front door.
"Here goes." I mutter to Donna and she gives my arm a reassuring squeeze.
"She'll be fine."
"Right."
Julie holds her back before she can tumble down the three small steps outside the front door and Chrissie's smile turns to a frown when she sees her parents get out of the car without her cat.
"Mommy, where's Boots?"
Donna lifts her up and sigs. "Chrissie, do you remember when Granda was sick and he had to stay in the hospital for a little while?"
Chrissie nods solemnly.
"Well, Boots is sick now and the doctor wants him to stay in the hospital. But only for tonight. He'll be home tomorrow."
"Really?"
"Of course. Would mommy lie to you?"
"No. You're not Replican."
Julie starts laughing and Donna shoots me a dirty look.
Uh oh.
"You mean Republican? Sweetie, not all Republicans are liars. In fact very few of them are."
"Daddy said-"
"Chrissie, you know as well as me that Daddy can be more then a little crazy at times."
"Hey!"
But then again Chrissie's giggling and I can't keep the smile off my face so it hardly conveys any real annoyance.
"Joshua Lyman, what have you been saying to our daughter?" Donna asks after putting Chrissie to bed.
"Nothing. Really, it was nothing." I tell her pulling her closer to me on the couch.
"Josh, I thought we agreed not to expose her to the whole world of politics until she was at least able to read the words she's trying to say."
"There's nothing wrong with being ahead of the posse Donna." I grin down at her and she rolls her eyes. "Hey, is it my fault my daughter is the most intelligent child ever conceived?"
She crosses her arms and smirks at me.
"She cried for a solid thirty minutes last week when you said if Boots could vote he'd vote Republican."
"I didn't know she was there."
I didn't!
"Telling Chrissie all Republicans are liars and cheats is not a balanced view."
"All except her grandparents." I point out quickly.
"And what was it exactly you told Chrissie they were?"
"Misguided." I mutter, but hey I'm not wrong. Donna's parents are lovely people, but politically they're Hansel and Gretel in the woods. Completely lost.
"And it's Chrissie's job to…?"
"Show them the light." I smile and Donna shakes her head smiling.
"I give up."
"Hey, what's wrong with telling our daughter to be an example of democratic perfection for the world and show misguided Republicans the right path?"
"Our daughter is an example of 'democratic perfection'?"
"Of course she is."
"You're incorrigible, you know that?"
"Yeah but that's why you love me." I grin kissing the top of her head.
The best thing about being a Chief of Staff, especially one as wonderful as me, is that although always busy, when you do get some quality time off, you get to enjoy it and spend it wisely. Mostly with Donna and Chrissie in tow. Tonight, it's just me and Donna for a nice romantic, anniversary meal. And I gotta say I can't wait.
But first we have to get IT.
Boots.
"I could have gotten him by myself." Donna says by my side as the bell jangles overhead.
"More like you'd hide the receipt so I wouldn't have to see how much he's costing me."
"Josh!" she admonishes a grin on her face as she turns towards the receptionist. "Hi, we're here to pick up a cat, Boots? It's probably under my husband's name, Josh Lyman?"
"Oh yeah. I remember him. If you'd like to wait in one of the consultation room I'll get the vet for you."
"Thank you."
She pulls me by my jacket sleeve but stalls just before the entrance. "Maybe it'd be best if you waited outside this time."
"Donna I'm fine. It was just a little headache. Honestly."
It was.
"It was!"
She cocks her eyebrow and crosses her arms smiling patiently.
"I'll be fine."
"Keep telling yourself that." She mutters smiling at the blonde vet.
"How are you planning on taking him home?" She asks obviously noting our empty hands.
"Well actually we were going to buy one of the pet carriers you have."
"Sure, no problem. Let me just get one for you now."
"Great."
"Yeah, uh how much will that be?"
Donna wallops me on the arm. Seriously, I think she's getting lessons from CJ, and she laughs nervously as the blonde vet leaves.
"What the hell was that for!" I rub my poor wounded arm.
"Josh, do you want the world to think the White House Chief of Staff is some stingy old man who won't even buy a proper carrier for his daughter's pet?"
"No," I admit grudgingly. "And what the hell's with the 'old' part. I am not old Donna. I am in the prime of my life!"
She giggles, Donna rarely giggles. "I know. You have been for the last twenty years."
"Donna."
"Joshua." She smiles and leans into my chest. "I'm kidding, you know you're the only virile, young, handsome man for me."
"You got it."
"Here we are." The girl arrives back into the room with the animal already in the box.
Immediately Donna's attention is diverted to it.
Personally I think it just knows how to piss me off.
"Hey Boots," Donna coos, "will he be alright?" she looks up over the cage to the vet.
"Yeah, he'll be grand. We got the infection before it could get into the joint, however his leg has been plastered and I'll need to see him in four days to take it off and make sure the leg's healing properly. Until then you should keep him in a warm, dry place indoors."
"Indoors?" I don't allow that thing inside my house under any circumstances.
"Yes, the bandage can't become at all wet. If it gets wet it can constrict around the leg and that just leads to a whole lot of other problems that you won't want to be dealing with."
"That's not a problem." Donna shoots me a look. "We've a conservatory he can stay in."
"That's perfect." The vet nods. "Well that's it, if you go see the receptionist she'll give you the bill and arrange for another appointment for you."
"Thank you." Donna smiles and nudges me in the ribs.
"Ah thanks, thanks doctor." I shake her hand and she blushes.
See I'm so not old.
"It's my pleasure Mr Lyman. It's been lovely to meet you, I see you on the telly or in magazines all the time."
"The pleasure's all mine."
Donna digs her elbow into my ribs again and looking down at her she's got that smirk on her face.
"What?" I ask her as we head towards the reception desk.
"The pleasure's all mine." And the way she says it sounds so sleazy. I do not speak like that.
"I was just being friendly."
"If you say so. You know you could at least carry this box. It's not exactly a bag of feathers."
"He hates me Donna. He'll find some way to scratch me or bite me or-"
"Josh, he's in a cage."
"It doesn't matter Donna, that cat is evil." Donna rolls her eyes. "Hi, we'd like the bill please."
"Of course." The receptionist taps away on the computer and looks back up. "You'll need an appointment for Tuesday. We've an opening for five forty if that suits you."
"Yes that'll be fine." Donna interrupts. Personally I think she's just jealous all these fabulous young women want to be with such a fabulous young man like me.
The receptionist nods and prints something out handing it to Donna. "That's you're bill including the carrier."
Donna's lips tighten and she nods keeping the paper out of my grasp. "That's fine. Thank you."
"Lemme see." I make a grab for the paper and she moves it out of my reach. "Donna! It can't be that bad. Let me see."
"You promise not to go berserk."
"Of course I won't go…155! This can't be right! Is this right!"
The receptionist nods meekly. "Well the carrier cost 30, so the actual procedures for the cat cost 125."
"125! Donna!"
Donna puts an arm on my arm to calm me down and hands over some cash.
"Tuesday at five forty? We'll see you then."
I think I must be in shock because I suddenly find myself standing by the car completely gob smacked.
"I can't believe I just paid 155 for that fleabag." I glare at the cage as Donna puts it in the back seat.
"Is 155 a high price of your daughter's happiness Josh?" She asks pointedly before settling into the back beside it.
I climb in the front and start the engine. "Donna, for that amount of money I could have bought her a new one, a real thoroughbred showcat. Hell I could have got her one for free!"
"Josh, you don't mean that."
I sigh because as much as I hate to admit it Chrissie adores that cat and I wouldn't do anything to harm him really.
Even if he does lie across the front step of the house waiting for me to come out so he can trip me up and send me to a premature death.
Besides that we don't really have a problem at all.
As long as he stays away from me at all times.
We pull up to the drive and like a perfect replay of last night I can see Chrissie standing at the window. Only this time she smiles and her eyes light up when she sees Donna getting out with the cage. In a flash she's gone and the door opens Julie and Chrissie standing at the doorstep.
"How's my little lamb chop?" I ask picking her up but her eyes are fixated on Donna and that damn cat and she squirms restlessly until I put her down.
"Boots, Boots, Boots!" she squeals and the cat mews at the sight of her.
"Don't rattle the cage Chrissie, he's still sick."
Large eyes move from the carrier to Donna and myself. "Boots all better. Daddy said Boots gonna be all better."
I crouch down beside her and take her two small hands into my own, rubbing my thumbs over the back of the clenched fists.
"Boots still has a sore leg Chrissie, but the doctor said he's going to be just fine. And aren't you glad he's home?"
She nods vigorously.
"And isn't it better he's at home with his family then stuck in the animal hospital."
"Yeah. Boots be ok?"
"Of course Boots'll be ok Chrissie. He'll be back to plotting ways to destroy your father in no time." Julie winks down at her.
Yeah, she's a good influence on my impressionable daughter.
"Josh, stop glaring." Donna says brushing past be as I get back up and Chrissie toddles after her. "Oh and go and check that all the doors and windows in the conservatory are closed. We can't let him get outside remember."
"Right." I brush a hand through my hair and catch sight of Julie smiling smugly.
"What?"
"Are you sure you'll be alright Mr Lyman? After all this is the perfect opportunity for Boots to finally get rid of you. Now that he has a legitimate reason to be inside."
"Julie, whatever happened to respecting your elders?"
She shrugs and follows me through to the conservatory. "I think you're actually meant to respect them." She grins again and looks at me innocently. "You constantly think your cat's trying to kill you. I've a hard time respecting that."
"You do know I'm the Chief of Staff of the White House." I remind her throwing her an old blanket from the cupboard that satisfactorily hits her in the face.
There's a pained look on her face when she manages to surface from the mound of wool. "I try not to think about that much. It's a little scary to think that you are one of the most important men in the country if not the world."
"Cheeky brat." I mutter.
"Josh, have you got all the windows closed?" Donna asks breezing into the conservatory.
Yep, they all look to be closed.
"Yes, everything is ready for him."
"Good. Julie, we won't be needing you until seven thirty tonight if you wanna go home."
"Thanks Donna. I guess I'll see you guys later." She grins down at an excited Chrissie before leaving, the front door slamming behind her.
"It has a handle!" I yell after her, not that she can hear me of course.
Donna rolls her eyes. "Where's the blanket?"
"Er…Julie put it…over there beside the radiator." I inform her having finally spied it hidden against the far wall.
"Well I guess it won't get much drier then that." She comments putting the cage down on the ground while Chrissie pokes her fingers through the holes and giggles when the cat licks them.
"Stand back honey." I take her hand and wait for Donna to open the cage.
The cat staggers out of the cage and looks around curiously.
He looks kinda funny though. That bandage goes all the way up to the top of his leg and it's seems at least twice as thick as the rest of them. He hobbles when he walks and Chrissie pulls away to play with him.
"Be careful with him sweetie." Donna calls moving closer to my side. "That wasn't so hard now was it?"
"No, it wasn't. But I think I've had enough talk about that cat for tonight." I turn towards her and rub her shoulders in large circles and she sighs contentedly.
I love making her do that.
"Are you looking forward to tonight?" I whisper nuzzling her neck.
"Mmm Hmm. In fact I'm gonna go get ready now." She pushes me away and winks at me. "Keep an eye on those two." She tilts her head towards Chrissie and the cat and I nod.
I've got a feeling it'll be worth it.
Donna looks fabulous. I mean take-your-breath-away fantastic. Her dress is long and dark blue and flows elegantly down to just above her ankles. There's a slit up the left leg allowing me to get a nice flash of alabaster every now and again when she moves in a certain way.
"I swear you get more beautiful every year." I tell her sincerely kissing the back of her hand across the small round table.
She blushes to the edge of her stunning swept up hair and grins back at me.
"You sound surprised Josh."
"I am. I knew I was marrying the most gorgeous, stunningly beautiful woman in the whole world, but I didn't realise how gorgeous or stunningly beautiful."
"You're just full of the sweet talk tonight Lyman, aren't you?" She leans closer and I can smell her sweet perfume and see the flames of the candles reflected in her eyes, their soft glow illuminating her whole face. For a minute I'm taken aback by her. Because she is beautiful and gorgeous and amazing and for some crazy reason she loves me as much as I love her.
I am the luckiest man on the entire earth. And don't let anyone else tell you different.
"Just saying it how I see it."
"Well there's no need, you already know you're gonna get lucky tonight." She grins and I gasp dramatically making her smile all the more.
"Donnatella Moss Lyman I am shocked that you think there'd be any ulterior motive to me praising your virtues apart from my awe and appreciation of them."
"Yeah, yeah. Why don't you pay the bill and then you can bring me home and show me exactly how much you appreciate them."
"Yes ma'am." I grin getting the waiters attention.
I never was one to disobey an order.
The drive back is something of a distraction what with Donna crossing her legs and uncrossing them and at the traffic lights squeezing my leg. I think I jumped about three feet and she chuckled in self-satisfaction. It's not really what you need when you're driving, especially in the rain. Still it's not the worst distraction I've had recently.
Finally making it back to the house I barely get a quick kiss inside the hall before Julie appears.
"Hey guys." She looks a little worried and immediately alarms bells start to go off. Donna and I look at each other before looking back at her.
"Julie what's wrong? Is Chrissie ok?" Donna's calm voice belays her real worry and mine as she clutches my hand.
"Oh yeah, yeah Chrissie's fine, it's just…"
"What?" I snap a million different things culminating in my mind.
"It's Boots." She says eventually.
Boots?
"He's gone."
What?
"What?" Donna says bewildered already moving towards the conservatory.
When we get in we're instantly drawn to the half open window above the small side table.
"Oh my God." Donna whispers, as she looks out helpless at the darkened, wet garden.
"I'm sorry." Julie says guiltily. "I was checking up on him every half hour or so, making sure he was ok. He kept trying to paw at the window but I didn't think…I mean, I thought the windows were closed properly."
Uh oh.
"Well they were meant to be." Donna says tightly shifting her gaze towards me.
"Hey I, I, I thought they were closed. They looked closed!"
"Josh!" Donna puts a hand to her forehead and rubs it sighing tiredly. "We're gonna have to go out and see if we can find him."
"What! Donna it's pouring rain out there, he'll be impossible to find. Besides he's probably as wet as he's gonna get by now. I don't think it'd make any difference if he walked in this second."
"I went out the back to look for him when I found him gone, but I couldn't find him anywhere and I didn't want to go any further then the backyard with Chrissie inside on her own."
"It's okay Julie, you did fine. Thanks for tonight." Donna smiles tiredly at her. "It's not your fault." A final glare in my direction.
So not getting any tonight.
Damn cat probably did it on purpose.
I fish out some cash from my wallet and hand it to her. She bites her lip and looks uncertain. "Julie, it's fine really. Thanks for tonight." I reassure her and she nods briefly and leaves.
"I'm going to bed." Donna mumbles. "I'll see you in the morning."
"Uh, right. I'll be up in a minute."
Talk about a mood killer.
God I hate cats!
"Wake up! Josh get up now!"
I groan and turn over. It's far too early to be getting up.
"Daddddddddyyyyyyyyy!"
A large lump falls on my chest and that finally makes me crack open one eye where I see my daughter's face less than an inch away from me and suddenly she lets a roar from her. "Mummy, Daddy's awake!"
She squirms on top of me and I can't help but laugh at her upturned face, as she looks almost cross-eyed at me, her podgy fingers prodding various regions of my face.
"Good, Josh get up." Donna hits the bottom of my leg grabbing a sweater.
"Wh-what's going on?"
"Boot's came back this morning and he's soaked. I've rung the vet and they can squeeze him in if we take him now. They close for the weekend in an hour so move it!"
Boots. Leg. Plaster. Wet.
Right, now I remember.
I sigh lifting Chrissie off me and dumping her on the bed where she bounces happily.
"Gimme a second." I mumble heading into the closet and changing into the first things I find. "You got him in the cage?" I call out to her.
"Yes! Hurry up. I'm gonna drop Chrissie over to Julie's, she has to look after her little brother today, and when I get back I expect you to be ready."
"I will."
The only answer I get is the sound of the door banging closed.
Great.
Stupid Cat.
He's crying in the cage in the hall when I get downstairs. Well at least he can't try to kill me in that thing.
"You did it on purpose didn't you? Shame you didn't get stuck in a drain or up a tree somewhere. Though I guess that would be difficult with a leg like that huh?" I crouch down beside him and he pushes his claws through the cage. "Not today my friend. Not today."
"Josh stop teasing the cat." Donna says opening the front door.
"I'm not teasing the cat. I was just saying how wonderful it was he came home."
"Right. Are you ready to go?"
"Yep."
"Okay, come on Boots." She coos at the cage lifting it up and opening the front door for her she flashes me a smile and we head once again for the vets.
"At least he's a lot quieter this time." Donna comments leaning back against the headrest.
"Yeah, that's a plus."
"I wonder how he managed to open the window. They all seemed to be closed before we left."
"I don't know what to tell you Donna, that cat is as sly as they come."
Out of the corner of my eye I can see Donna grin. "You were outwitted by a cat Josh."
"I was not!"
"Yes you were. Boots the cat managed to get one past you."
"And you." I shoot back and she grimaces.
"Well obviously he's a very clever cat. Those windows were closed when we left Josh, I had a quick look around before we left."
"See! I've been telling you for ages that cat is evil. He's evil."
"Or just incredibly clever." Donna shrugs.
"Well we'd hardly have a dumb cat Donna. Besides look at family he lives in." I tell her pulling into the car lot.
"I suppose it's too be expected when he's surrounded by such greatness."
"Exactly!"
She rolls her eyes before getting out of the car and grabbing the cage from the backseat.
The bell jingles overhead as we enter. I swear I'll be dreaming of that bell for the next three months.
The receptionist, the one I originally made the appointment with God help us, smiles at us.
"Hi, can I help you?"
"Yes, we'd like to see the vet please, she's expecting us."
"Ok, can I have your name please?"
"Lyman." I say to her, "Josh Lyman. We've got a cat Boots."
"Oh yeah, I remember you! I saw you on the telly the other night. Nice suit."
"Thanks, you know sometimes it's hard to find the right suit or tailor." She nods along with me. "When you're going to be appearing on television, it's not just the politics that's important it's the package it's delivered in, it's more-"
Ow!
"Ow! Donna!"
She smiles tightly at the receptionist and me. "When can we see the vet?"
"She'll be along in a minute if you'd like to wait." The receptionist replies tritely.
We sit down and I turn to her smiling. "Were we a little jealous there Donnatella?" I tease her lightly.
She snorts. "I just didn't want you embarrassing yourself Joshua."
"Right." I grin all the wider. Like I was gonna embarrass myself.
She was so jealous.
"Boots Lyman?"
The same nurse from yesterday stands at the door to one of the room.
"Are you coming in with us?" Donna asks as we both stand up.
"Well I was planning to yeah."
"They'll probably have to take the bandage off and inspect the wound."
"Then again it might be a bit crowded in there."
Donna chuckles. "Won't be long."
"I'll be here."
The cat moans once more before the door closes.
The one thing about vets is the smell. God how do people work in a place like this? They must really love it to work here. Not really a place for me. Nope. I'd take the long hours and sleep deprived work in the White House any day compared to here. Well compared to anywhere really. There's no place like the White House. At least they don't have any cats. The first family always have a dog. No cats. I wonder if it's like some sort of rule. If somewhere way back in the past somebody figured out that all cats are evil and that they're not exactly the type of influence you want in the most powerful house in the world.
Can you imagine the British prime minister on a state visitor on opening the back door and finding dead mice and rats littered all over the place?
Now that would be a political disaster.
Yeah, someone must have made it a rule not to have cats in the First Residence.
Wish I could make a similar rule for the Lyman Residence.
"Josh?"
"Huh? Oh, Donna. How'd it go?" I ask jumping out of the moulded plastic seat.
"Fine, they had to change his bandage but he doesn't seem to have caused any damage to himself. Have you?" she lifts up the cage and talks to the black fur ball inside.
"Great, we can get home then?"
"Yeah in a second. I just have to pay the bill."
"The bill?"
"Yes Josh, they used time and material to fix him up. It costs money."
"That'll be 25." The receptionist says chirpily.
As Donna hands over the money I look down at the cat and I swear he's grinning and those eyes definitely have an evil glint in them.
God I hate cats.
Finis