Author's note: In my writing universe McCoy came back to talk to Barba, but the baby case never happened, therefore Barba was never on trial. I don't like that episode, because even if the character comes back sometime, he is now on the show a disgraced prosecutor. In my writing universe the speech Barba gives to Olivia did happen.

February 8, 2018

Rafael Barba was just about to knock on Olivia Benson's door when Noah flung it open. "Hi Barba!" the boy exclaimed.

"Hi!" He replied.

"Noah" Lucy called coming up behind him. "Did you forget anything? We have to leave soon. You know not to open the door like that. Oh Mr. Barba hello." She said as her eyes focused on him. He was wearing blue jeans and a orange sweater.

"It's just Barba" Noah said. "I'm allowed to open the door for Barba."

"You didn't know that." Lucy replied. What would your mother say?"

Noah didn't respond to Lucy, but he continued to look at Barba, he opened his mouth, and spoke softly "Mommy was crying, she didn't want me to see but I did. Can you come in please?" Barba entered slowly, he stood by the door.

"Lucy wait!" Olivia called running from her bedroom. "Noah forgot his lunch." She grabbed the lunch bag, from a kitchen counter ran to Lucy, and handed it over. Olivia's brown eyes filled with shock when she saw Rafael Bara standing in her apartment She wore a navy blue NYPD t-shirt with matching sweatpants. She had no makeup or heels on, and her eyes were slightly red.

"Barba's here! Noah said.

"I see that sweet boy. Did you ask who was at the door before running to it?"

"No, I will next time mommy, I let Barba in."

"I see that, have a good day at school."

Noah quickly hugged his mother, and turned, Lucy followed him out the door.

"See you later Liv." Lucy said. "Call me if you need anything ok?"

"Thanks Lucy, don't worry I won't need anything, just bring Noah home please." Lucy smiled and shut the door. Olivia waited a moment before she spoke, Barba heard her breathe in and then exhale "I couldn't kick you out in front of my son, he likes you too much. Now that he's gone, get out!"

"Liv, please I need to talk to you."

"I think you said everything you wanted to yesterday, You walked away, there is nothing left to say."

"Liv there is plenty to say."

"Lieutenant Benson to you."

"Is that the game we're playing?"

"It's not a game, only people in my inner circle call me Liv. You and I had a professional relationship. I would call you ADA Barba, but you're not the ADA anymore."

"And a friendship" Barba answered more sternly than he wanted.

"Get out! I'm mad at you, I'm so mad at you Barba!" She replied looking away.

"You can kick me out, but I'm not giving up on you. I have plenty of time, to wait, and I can wait outside your door until you talk to me. We don't always agree, we've had our arguments , but we always work it out, we always make it through, we always have each other's backs. This is no different."

Olivia turned to look at him. "This time you walked away from me, you walked away from everything, you said you needed to move on, so go. Move on!"

"I made a mistake, I'm sorry, but I'll fix it."

"You can't !" Olivia answered her voice cracking "You left me standing on the street!"

"I'm so sorry."

"You walked away from everything Barba! Why, because I brought color into your life, because you don't see things in black and white anymore!"

"I walked away from the ADA's office because I've been screwing up cases lately!"

Screwing up cases why, because a young girl's case was sent to family court, a young girl whose mother made her disabled, because you didn't have enough evidence to convict a man who may be innocent, because you found out the victim was holding things back 15 minuets before you had to present to the jury?"

"I never should have taken that call in the elevator, I was relieved when that case went to family court, and that man could have been a rapist. I'm a prosecutor It's my job to prosecute!"

"Was your job. You walked away from the courthouse. You're human, nobody asked you to leave. You can still do the job." It's part of you!" You want to know how I see the world, there's right, there's wrong, and there is justice. I learned in this job that sometimes right and justice don't meet, but sometimes they do." Barba tried to pull his friend into a hug the way he did when Noah was missing. She looked like she was on the verge of tears, and he hated it. He never wanted to cause her tears.

"Don't touch me!" Olivia said walking a few feet away, she began to pace. "I worked with my old partner for 12 years. When my captain confirmed he was not coming back, I found an open interrogation room, locked the door, took five minutes to myself, and then I rolled to the next crisis, I refused time off. You leave the ADA's office and I have to take a personnel day. What's wrong with me? Dobbs is going to be livid How do you do that Barba? How do you make that speech, thank me for opening your heart. kiss me on the forehead, and walk away from me? For the record that was the most incredible personal speech I ever heard. No one has ever talked to me like that."

"Liv look at me please. I'm here, I'm right here. I could never walk away from you permanently. She did as he asked. She stopped pacing moved a few feet closer to him, and her brown eyes met his green ones.

"Thank-you, you know Liv with every case I lost, I felt I was letting you down."

That's ridiculous."

"No it's not. You became my inspiration. When you're sitting in the courtroom don't you ever notice how I look at you How I look to you?" Olivia didn't answer.

"So it's my fault you quit!?" She asked instead of answering him, she had noticed him looking at her in the courtroom.

"No, I didn't say that, I would never say that."

"6 years ago I heard some of your conversation with the defense when Harris brought me to a courtroom to meet with you, and I thought this man may be exactly what SVU needs, I was impressed, even more so when you stuck around, No prosecutor I have come across fights for a case, for a victim like you do, but...

"But what?" Barba asked, Olivia walked over to her couch, and allowed him to follow. Her legs felt like jelly.

"I had no idea that you would become my closest advisor, my best friend. I told you things I was afraid to tell others, I confide in you when I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing with Noah. You helped me get Noah back, yes I know about that. I'm Olivia Benson, I'm strong, tough as nails, but yesterday when you walked away from me, I felt like I couldn't move" I didn't see that you thought I was opening your heart, because to me you have always had a good open heart. If I did open your heart even a little Rafael Barba, I didn't do it so you could break mine." Olivia was now sobbing, she let her legs carry her to the floor, and Barba followed. He held her and she let him.

Barba looked at his best friend, and his soul mate for several moments before he spoke, he draped his right arm around her shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere, I'm sorry I scared you, and put you through that. I scared myself. I am surprised you took the day off. I went by the station to talk to you first."

"My job can still be dangerous, I know that. I didn't go to work because I didn't feel I was at the top of my game. I have a son."

"And me." Barba said. "Before you suggest it, you should know I called McCoy already, I go back to work on Monday.

"That was fast."

"Well we had some things to discuses, but he never wanted me to go. He told me I didn't have to on his account. He threw out my resignation letter."

"How long did it take for you to call him? Olivia asked.

"2 hours." Olivia laughed.

"What took you so long to get over here?"

"I told you I went to the station first, and I wanted to give you time to calm down."

"Smart man."

"I know you were upset, but McCoy told me, you called his office and said some very nice things about me."

"Guilty, ADA Barba, but should he have disclosed that?"" Barba laughed When he stopped laughing she spoke "As comfortable as this is, do you want to get off this floor, and have coffee with me?"

"Or we can have coffee on the floor."

"No, way", she answered getting up from the floor, he followed her. He held her right arm, and looked into her eyes. "You want my handkerchief?"

"You're wearing jeans and a sweater, and you still have a handkerchief with you?" Barba took a white handkerchief out of the pocket of his jeans, and handed it to her. "You're a classic Rafael Barba, Don't ever change." Olivia said moving to prepare the coffee.

"Will you still say that when I'm 85?"

"Yes", she answered smiling.

"Just checking Liv." Barba answered smiling back. I love you, he thought watching her as she carried 2 cups of coffee to the couch, he knew she was still a little upset, but he would make it up to her.