Broken Memories
Why do you cry? Because your sad? Because your hurt? No, because your broken.
He awoke with tears trailing down his face. He could remember everything. The good, if it could be called that, the bad, and the fall. He wiped away the tears that stained his cheeks. After years, after everything, he couldn't remember when he cried last. But, that was a lie, he could. He could remember, but he chose not to. Crying meant defeat. To them, if you cried then you were worthless. He was worthless. The memories swirled in his brain. Memories that weren't his. They were those of someone he betrayed. He didn't mean to, but he did. He said goodbye.
Being dragged out of his thoughts, he was faced with movement behind him and a concerned voice.
"Hey Wash, you okay?"
The voice was soft and hesitant. Which was out of character for the solider next to him.
"Tucker I'm fine, it's just..."
He hesitated. Every time he remembers, he freezes. Why couldn't he face what happened.
"It's just nothing? Or are you remembering your past?"
Wash felt him self grow tense. Turning to face Tucker, he ended up burying his head into his lovers chest. Feeling the arms of the other hold him, he let go and allowed himself to cry.
After what felt like forever, Washington managed to raise his head from the others grasp. With a deep breath and a shaky voice, he finally stutter out with a quiet sob "I- I could have saved him... I could have saved everyone. But... But I didn't. I let them die. I let him die." He gripped Tucker's shirt as he spoke. His knuckle had turn white and his eyes grew red as he heard his boyfriend whisper in his ear.
"Shh... It's ok. There's nothing you could have done. It's alright." Tucker continued to speak, but Wash stopped listening. Instead, he focused on the steady heart beat before him. He relaxed as he felt the others fingers stoke his hair, lulling him back into a dreamless sleep.