Of Parchment Hearts and Broken Walls

For Penelope Fiction's It's A Competition... Don't Ditch It! Challenge

Disclaimer: The fabulous World of Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, not I.

"Well, are you going?" Marlene was staring at me, there was something about the wide smile on her face that unnerved me a little bit. I twiddled my quill, hoping that if I looked like I was paying attention to Slughorn's lesson that I wouldn't have to answer.

"Lily, you have to go!" Dorie whispered, prodding me sharply on the hand with her quill. "Live a little."

I knew that I couldn't ignore their pestering for much longer, the lesson was nearly over. I tucked a long strand of red hair behind my ear and laid my eagle feather quill on the desk. Professor Slughorn was a great Potions Master, but he often went off on tangents telling us about the Holyhead Harpies match he'd been to the other week. As much as I enjoy actually learning something during his lessons, his tangents were also appreciated... especially today. My mind has been a boggled mess this past week, well month really. And I have none other than James Potter to thank.

This year couldn't be more different and unexpected than I'd imagined, granted I'd never imagined I'd be invited to study magic at the age of eleven either. James Potter and I have never been friends, he's been an arrogant, prank-pulling, rule-breaking , bullying toerag for the past six years. Atleast he is consistent, at the very least. That is, until he up and changed on me... It's most definitely a curve ball I'd never anticipated.

This new James was exponentially more difficult to loathe, even by my standards. My best friends Marley McKinnon and Dorie Meadowes nearly woke the entire castle when I told them James and I called a truce. My seventh year here at Hogwarts is teaching me to expect the unexpected, even though I'm not found of surprises. I, Lily Evans, surely can't be friends with James Potter. But alas, it is true and it's surprisingly nice. He hasn't pestered me in months, nor has he turned my hair and alarming shade of fuchsia. Heck, even patrolling the corridors no longer resembles a life sentence in Azkaban. I'd never admit it, but it's fairly enjoyable. These feelings of happiness and ease are alarming. I have never felt this way about a boy, let alone James. I don't even know what I feel, or if I feel anything. People should write textbooks about matters like this!

"You know you like him," Marley whispered as Slughorn turned his back on the class to sneak some crystallized pineapple from his desk. Albeit, he isn't very good at sneaking.

"No. I don't, actually." Which is true, I haven't the slightest clue. If anything, that bespeckled pain in my buttocks makes me feel nervous more than anything else. Well, maybe that isn't exactly true either. My transfiguration NEWT is already driving me mental and it's not even November. The other week I poured over my transfiguration notes for hours and hours, attempting to finish an essay Professor McGonagall had set for us. It turned out that I had over thought the question and was drabbling on about something completely irrelevant. I shredded that blasted roll of parchment and threw it in the air, James found all of this highly amusing. He ended up helping me write out a second essay, this truce has its benefits.

"Lily. Pay. Attention." Alice hissed from behind me. "You're my only hope in this ruddy class."

I definitely wasn't paying attention, my mind was I tried to pull myself back to Potions it wasn't long before I was thinking about my next trip to Hogsmeade or whether or not I should meet James. I managed to catch the last bit of what Slughorn was saying as the bell rang. My heart was racing as I walked with Marley, Dorie and Alice into the Great Hall, in half an hour I would have to make my decision.

"You're going, I've decided for you. Aren't I the greatest?" Marley slurred at me through a mouthful of steak and kidney pie.

I laughed a little bit, prodding my goblet with a somewhat shaky finger. "Oh yeah, you're a keeper."

"Lily, if I had a knut every time you've messed up my Quidditch position, I'd be rich."

"Yeah Lily, I hope you'll seek me out after dinner," James leaned across the table and took the pitcher of pumpkin juice. The butterfly in my stomach was awake and beating its wings wildly inside me, I'm not very fond of this butterfly. It's timing is dreadful.

Time always seems to go quickly when you'd rather that it inch by, as the time ticked nearer and nearer my fidgeting became more apparent. "Just. Go." Dorie laughed, "What have you got to lose?"

"Yeah, c'mon now Lily. If he tries asking you out, just cast the Body Bind curse on him and push him into the lake... Maybe the Giant Squid will eat him." Marley was demolishing the pepper shaker with her hand, apparently demonstrating what would happen if I did what she suggested.

"Or you could punch him on the nose!" Dorie chimed in from my other side. I smiled, although that suggestion was more desirable a few months ago. I twirled the ends of my hair around my finger and tapped my foot as quickly as I could, I am not exactly sure why this is calming... I'm weird like this, I suppose. Decision making is not my forte, I'm sure James is enjoying me riddle out my thoughts and attempt to find a logical decision. Wait- there is no logic... I'm either going or I'm not.

"Which one of you ladies has a knut?" Marley slid a small, bronze coin across the table. "Flip it," I instructed slowly, hoping that this was the sure way to make my decision. Marley lobbed it high into the air, I watched it fall with bated breath. She caught it with a snap and flipped it over, staring at me with a mad expression.

"Lily Evans, I literally hold your future in my hands."

"Cut the anticipation... what is it?" I clenched my eyes shut, her wide smile was unnerving me.

"You're going, and you'd better be quick or you'll be late!"

"Have fun!"

"Good luck!"

"Use protection!"

My heart was clambering higher and higher into my throat as I crossed the Great Hall on shaky legs. It probably wanted a front row seat for the prank James was about to pull on me. Or maybe he wasn't even going to show up; maybe he just wanted to see me panic. Oh I'll get him good for that, he's probably in the common room laughing it up with Sirius.

I was wrong, there he was standing at the edge of the lake, tossing rocks across its glossy surface. A wide grin spread across his face when he saw me. The butterfly was clearly jealous that my heart had better seats and was protesting violently within.

" Lo, there Lily." James grinned widened, if at all possible.

I greeted him with what was probably a feeble smile, "Hello."

James glanced over his shoulder at me and plunked three more rocks into the lake, making ripples across the surface. We both watched the ripples fan out until they faded into nothing. "Did you see the Prophet this morning? He's got to be stopped. His hunger for power is destroying our world, not to mention families. I'm going to do it, I'm going to join the Order of the Phoenix in June."

I nodded; the tales of heartbreak and destruction from this war are splashed on the front page of the Prophet every day. It's sickening; I can't seem to pull myself away from reading it though. "I'm also joining, I thought about it for a while. I think it's right, my mum always said that you always miss one hundred per cent of the chances you don't take. Maybe this is it, I was given this chance because I can help. We'll make a difference..." My voice became smaller; I looked down at my shoes. "I hope, anyway."

James beamed and moved toward me, I took a careful step back; my heart was enjoying its view from wherever it was. "We will make a difference, we have to. I'm not sure if you know why I asked you to meet me, I'm not really sure myself... It's just that this year is different, and I thought that maybe we're different too. Well, not really, I'm still Lames and you're still Jily."

I snorted a little bit, James was laughing too. It was funny to see him like this, actually it was nice to see anyone laughing during times like these. "I'm glad that wasn't embarrassing or anything."

"Definitely not," his hazel eyes were dancing. No, Lily. Eyes don't dance, don't be silly. "My apologies for being a little jittery, I'm a tad nervous... I'm not one to break promises."

"Promises? What promise?" He wasn't paying attention, he seemed to be fishing around in his pocket for something.

"I've been trying to show you the real James for a while now, it's definitely been difficult. Turns out showing off and being a prat for six years doesn't build anything but walls."

"Walls, what do you mean?"

"You're more heavily guarded than Azkaban, is what I mean. And I don't mean anything by it, you've a right to be guarded. It's hard not to be when you're targeted by the Marauders." He laughed a little bit and studied his shoes. You would think our shoes changed colours for the amount of time we've both spent looking at them. "But... After all this time, I suppose I'm a bit guarded too. I hid behind my tomfoolery and other nonsense because I didn't want you to see the real me. I was fine with you not liking that James, but it would be impossible to know that you didn't like this one either."

"This is the real you, then huh?" I studied him carefully, his eyes didn't flicker away from mine for even a second.

He nodded, "The one and only. Don't get me wrong, I love a good laugh and everything. Walls are hard to tear down once they've been standing for so long... I think it's time for a renovation though, what do you think?"

"It would be a nice change," I said slowly after a moment's hesitation. "I was fairly nervous about this too."

James had finally found what he was looking for and stopped his rummaging. He held whatever it was tightly in his hand. "I promised you near the end of fifth year that I wouldn't ask you out anymore. I promised you that because I was partly... Well, no. I was fully to blame for what happened that day. I just wish Sniv... I mean, Snape... Had never called you that, I'm sorry you lost a friend that day. Even if he is a slimey git... I can't make up for that, you looked so broken. The last thing you needed was some pompous arse asking you out on an hourly basis, so I agreed."

I almost couldn't believe what James was saying, it was incredible and frightening. "I'm scared, James." The words flew out of my mouth before I thought left my mind. My words seemed to have flown out so fast that they jarred his balance and his train of thought.

"Me too." He said finally, "The right sign just took a long while to present itself. I promised myself that I wouldn't pester you until I had found one." He took a calculated step forward and pressed something into my palm, clasping his hand around mine. I'm sure he could feel my pulse racing and if I'm not mistaken I think I felt his too.

"In life some of the greatest risks are worth taking, walls are worth tearing down just to see what is on the other side. I've never felt this strongly about anyone in my whole life..."

If it were physically impossible for one's heart to implode, I'm sure mine would have burst into a million pieces. He removed his hand from mine, and inside sitting in the middle of my palm was a torn piece of parchment. "When you tore your essay a couple weeks ago and threw it into the air like a mad woman, this piece landed on my lap. It was the sign I'd been waiting for..." He was casting a nervous smile in my direction. I clearly wasn't picking up on how this was a sign, it was just a torn bit of parchment.

"Wait, oh James! I can't believe it, this is incredible." I gushed, beaming at him over my outstretched palm. The bit of parchment, though rough around the edges was in the shape of a heart. I was staring madly at it, trying to think what the odds were that I'd tear a pretty decent looking heart in my frenzy when it was cover again by his hand.

"Lily Evans, will you go out with me?"

I nodded so quickly my heart plummeted back to its correct location. We shared our first kiss under the old beech tree by the lake, our heart beating together under the most glorious fall sunset I'd ever seen in all my time at Hogwarts. This world, and this moment were truly magical. Even in a world that seemed to be more dangerous and foreboding every day, love was going to shine through and warm the cold and dreary days before us. And I was going to let it, no more walls. Only parchment hearts.