Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or its characters.
Title: That Fateful and Fatal Day
Summary: Post Twilight. Takes place right after Hiatus. Tonycentric. Tate angst. Songfic. Tony thinks about Kate and their last moments together. And it leads to extreme actions. Tony's POV
A/N: I know this plot has been done before. I've read fics like it, but plagiarism is NOT intended. This idea came to me when I was listening to Kenny Chesney's CD: The Road and the Radio which I only own a copy of. I don't own the song Who You'd Be Today. And the words in bold italics are Tony's thoughts.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.
On good days, I only think about the good times with her. You know making funny, sometimes sexist, remarks and teasing her. But on the days when Probie pisses me off or Ziva doesn't pronounce anything right, I think of that fateful and fatal day. May 24th, 2005.
It ain't fair: you died too young,
like the story that had just begun,
but death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
who'd you be today?
Gibbs quit the other day and I've survived a few cases with just McGeek and Ziva. We're okay with just the three of us but we'd be better if Gibbs was back. But great if Kate was still alive. Today was one of those days. I knew from the moment I woke up. I dreamt of the day on the roof and woke up sweating bullets. I ran to the mirror in the bathroom to look and make sure it wasn't her blood. Those dreams happen at least once a week. And when I realized today's date, things got worse. McGee was late to work and Ziva and I had already left for a scene when he got there. When we got back, he was doing paper work. And on any other day we didn't have a case, it would have been fine. But we had a case and he didn't even call to see where we were. I guess he thinks that since I'm not Gibbs, he can get away with a lot of stuff, which isn't like the old McGee when Gibbs was here. And when we were at the scene, Ziva forgot to restock the truck with film for the camera so we borrowed some from Ducky and she kept mispronouncing words and messing up phrases when we were questioning the first officers on the scene. She's been like this since he left. And to top it all off, I was the only one who remembered that a year ago today, that bastard killed Kate.
Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you,
An' I know it might sound crazy.
I used to wonder at night what my future would be like. I had secretly hoped it would be with Kate. I would never tell anyone this but I could see myself marrying Kate and having kids with her someday. And I was too stupid to admit my feelings for her because I wanted our 'bickering' to continue. Every once and a while, I think about what she said to McGee when I was lying down on the floor and hope those words were true. But now she's gone. Been gone for a year. After work, I went to the florist and got some flowers. I drove to her grave and placed the flowers there. And then I lost it.
It ain't fair: you died too young,
like the story that had just begun,
but death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
all the hell that I've been through,
just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
who you'd be today?
So I'm sitting on the roof in the exact spot where she died. There are still a few blood stains that the cleaners couldn't get out. And I thought about our last few hours together: the snake, the 'getting into bed' comment, Kate's remarks about me (which are... I mean were... similar to my hopes) and then pouring water on me. I've got my gun out, safety off and index finger resting on the trigger. I think about will happen when I'm gone. McGee will eventually find me and he, Ziva, Abby and Ducky will process my suicide, as much as I would hate to put them through that. Ari did that to us with Kate's murder. McGee or someone will run the team and who knows? Maybe Gibbs will come back from where ever he is for my funeral.
But would Kate want you to do this?
Who cares? She's dead.
An internal debate ensues and I smile slightly as I think of Abby.
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
The only thing that gives me hope,
Is I know I'll see you again some day.
You'll see her some day. Don't do this.
That some day is today.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have a second chapter written! Will Tony do it or will something stop him? Tell me if I should post it or not.