Not mine, at all. Wish it was, cause then I'd be able to afford all of the things that I want.

I was cleaning out my files, and found these. Not my best, but eh.

Raj

I'm pretty sure I saw it before anyone else.

She's pretty, but that's just the shell. She's actually nice to us. US! The nerds, the geeks, the losers.

The way the real world works, she shouldn't do more than flirt when she needs some tech support.

I don't think she ever read the rule book.

Penny may not be book smart, but when the world ends, I want to be on her team. She'll keep us alive.

The thing I am most grateful for is the fact that she helped turn Sheldon into a real boy. He at least tries to understand us now.

Trust me when I say that his poor attempts are a vast improvement. He is still scared of what is outside of his apartment, but he goes out of his comfort zone with a look of pure determination now.

I'm off topic, aren't I?

What I'm trying to say is that years of not being able to talk to women have give me a distinct advantage when it comes to reading body language. I can tell when no means 'yes'. I can tell when no means 'I am two seconds away from calling the cops.'

It's easy to just sit back and observe, because they all know that I won't say much until the girls are gone or liquor is involved.

So yeah, I was probably the first one to see it.

They orbit around each other, just like the planets orbit the sun. It doesn't even seem like they are aware of it, it's just a fact of life.

They demand that the other dances to their tune, while refusing to do the same. Then suddenly, they both give just enough, and almost by magic it's as if they never fought.

I have no clue why they aren't together.

I mean, I kinda get it with Sheldon. As much maturing as he's done since Penny moved in, he's still a little boy playing in a grown man's body. I don't even think he knows that Penny flirts with him. If he does know he does a good job of ignoring it.

I wouldn't ignore it, just saying.

Penny wouldn't be able to make a convincing argument about who was the better captain: Kirk or Picard. So what? That's what I have Howard for.

Kirk is the correct answer, by the way.

As different as they are, I can see it actually working. Them as a couple I mean.

Well, if it wasn't for Leonard that is.

Howard

Even though I'm a very happily married man, there are some skills that never fully go away.

Being a ladies man, for example. I'm completely devoted to my Bernie, so the skills might be rusty, but they are still there.

I'm pretty sure I saw it before anyone else.

Of course Penny hung out with us. Once she got a load of all of this, it would be impossible to stay away. Once I made it clear that I was far too young to be tied down to just one filly, she turned her attentions elsewhere.

I just never expected it to be on C3PO.

Her heartbreak over my rejection must have hurt her more than I thought.

Almost like opposite magnetic poles, they are pulled to one another.

Penny likes to pull his pigtails, much like she did to me.

She deliberately sits in his spot, messes up his order at work, talks when Star Trek is on. She takes his milk without asking, and continually threatens to tear up his comic books if he upsets her. Penny has even reorganized all of dvds by how bad she thinks they suck.

If anyone else would dare to do even one of those things, Sheldon would have one of his panic attacks. He would give out strikes and make you take classes, not to mention the lectures.

Oh dear god, the lectures. My life's goal is to never have to suffer through another Sheldon Cooper lecture again.

Penny may get lectured, I think it comes as naturally to Sheldon as breathing, but that's it. No strikes, no classes, no panic attacks.

Just lectures. She just sits there and takes it too! Lets him yell, lecture I mean, for a good hour or so. Then Penny just smiles and asks if he's done. When Sheldon says yes, they move on as if it never happened.

It's almost unnatural.

It's not just Sheldon acting different either. Penny does too. I know that Raj and I wouldn't get away with saying half of the stuff he does to her. He basically calls her stupid and she just sits there and takes it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I know that her and Leonard are a thing. She cares about him, that much is obvious, and he worships the ground that she walks on. She's good for Leonard. He has more confidence, more social graces. It's all due to Penny.

I just don't see what he is bringing to the table is all.

Bernadette

Watching them, you almost feel bad for them.

They used to dance around each other, it was almost poetic. You could see the tension in the air.

Leonard and Penny tried to have a relationship, and it went down in flames according to my Howie. How would you even go about trying to force someone to say that they love you?

Then Amy came along, almost a carbon copy of Sheldon. So alike that it was almost scary really.

They even shared a Penny obsession.

Now, with everyone by Raj coupled up, it seems like they don't even try to talk to each other anymore. They're barely even alone together anymore.

Their eyes though.

If you want to know the true story, just follow their eyes. They will tell you everything that you wanna know.

Penny may not tease him anymore, might ignore him unless she had to pay attention, might even seem like she doesn't care about him at all...

But.

But every time Amy sits in Penny's spot on the couch, the middle cushion, Penny flinches just a bit. It's not even noticeable unless you are really looking for it. It's all in her eyes.

Penny really is a great actress if you stop to think about it.

I don't want to say that if she takes that mask off, then she's just a shell of her old self. That's not fair. Penny is still there, buried inside somewhere. She's hiding, waiting for something, but I have no clue what.

Well, that's not entirely true.

Her life's on pause, she's waiting for someone to hit the play button.

And no matter what anyone says, it's not Leonard's fault. Not completely. No one has a gun to her head, forcing her to be with him.

Penny chose that relationship just as I chose to spend the rest of my life with Howie.

Just like Sheldon's choice to be with Amy.

Leonard

Life is good.

No, it's sweet.

No, life is amazing.

I have everything that I could ever want. I even have the girl.

My Penny.

She's beautiful.

Perfect.

Mine.

Ok, so our relationship isn't perfect. We have our problems, all couples do right?

Nothing is so insurmountable that we can't conquer that together.

Except...

I guess we are still at two different places. I know Penny loves me, she said it. It was one of the happiest days of my life.

It's just that I thought things would be different by now.

I thought that I would be more secure in what we have. I thought that I wouldn't still have the fear that one day she would wake up and leave.

I thought that my stomach would stop churning whenever I realized that Penny and Sheldon were alone together.

But it will all work itself out with time right? Cause no matter what, I'm committed to making us work.

Amy

I was serious when I said that I wished I could tell the teenage me that it does get better.

I have a fulfilling job that challenges me, a social life that isn't imaginary, and a boyfriend.

Yep, that's right, a real life boyfriend.

Not only that, but a best friend! Someone I can tell anything to without risking being judged.

That fact fills me with joy and with guilt. It is amazing what the human brain can do when given the correct chemicals.

I not be as smart as Sheldon, but I'm no idiot either. I knew the writing on the wall long before I agreed to a relationship with him. On our first date, all I heard about were tales of his insufferable neighbor.

I heard of pranks, her low intelligence, her comely features. It seemed like he just wanted someone to complain to about her. Then I noticed the undertone of his speech pattern. He seemed almost...proud of her in a way that I had only heard in movies.

Hence the guilt.

I know that Sheldon's not really mine. I'm a placeholder, a transition. One day Penny is gonna get tired of waiting. One day Sheldon is going to realize where his affections lay.

That day won't hurt me the way it should. I'm aware that the first true relationship that you are in tends to stick with you. Sheldon will always be important to me.

It won't be awkward when it happens. I won't let it. I'm not going to lose the best friendships that I have ever had over an eventuality.

It's almost like being in a summer rom-com. I'm the supportive best friend.

So, no uncomfortable silences over here. I won't lose my friends over this.

Leonard though...

This will really hurt Leonard.

I truly believe that he loves Penny. However, his insecurities have affected nearly every aspect of his relationship with her. He is clingy, overbearing, suffocating.

It must be nice to be wanted that much.