Disclaimer:I do not own Young Justice
'Make Your Papa Proud'
by Song Six
It was a quiet afternoon in Central City that consisted of sipping homemade lemonade and eating lemon tarts with freshly sprinkled powdered sugar. Currently, Barry and Iris Allen had the pleasure of hosting Bruce Wayne as their guest for the day as their boys were off in the country land. Later that day they would promptly be picked up for dinner. For now, the two men had time to chat and catch up with each other.
"I'm telling you Batman, Kid Flash may be a bit talkative…" Barry started before taking a huge bite of the treat in his hands. The texture was warm, chewy, and sweet.
"Clumsy, touchy, overbearing, foolish, brash," Bruce finished before pouring himself another glass of lemonade. The blonde man rolled his eyes at his friend.
He poured himself more juice before continuing, "But I bet you he's much easier to work with than Robin."
Bruce took a nice long sip before gently setting down his glass with as much offense he could muster up in such a small act. He then folded his hands neatly on his lap before staring into frightened blue eyes. Barry braced himself for some scorn from daddy bats.
"How did you come to this conclusion?" he asked, his tone friendly with hints of displeasure.
The blonde gulped as he thought his words out as carefully as he could, "No offense, but your ward is a bit socially redundant," well, not that carefully.
"I believe you mean socially retarded," Bruce corrected rolling his eyes
"Exactly!" he laughed sheepishly as he threw a hard glare at him, "I mean, my point is, he has the social skills of a…well…a bat."
The muscles on Bruce's neck visibly tightened. He clenched his fists making popping noises that made Barry jump a bit in his seat. However, he calmed down as soon as Iris came out with another tray of her delectable lemon tarts smiling sweetly.
"Thankyou Iris," the dark haired man sent a dazzling smile her way causing the woman to blush, flattered her cooking was enjoyed. Barry shifted in his seat, creeped out at Bruce's ability to go from silent fury to blissful happiness.
As soon as the red head left the room he went back to glaring, "A bat?"
"Yeah, like I don't mean a literal bat but I mean one of you," Barry proceeded to stuff his mouth with more treats hoping to buy time to think his word choice out better…
"The next things you say better convince me not to stick you into an ice encased room," …before he mysteriously disappears and is found dead by Batman only presented to the Justice League with no clues of who his murderer was. That would suck.
"Sorry Bats, but you aren't the most approachable guy around, and you're kind of…"
"…"
"…mean?" As if his glare couldn't get any scarier, it just did, "Heh, which is completely alright because it scares off the bad guys, but you know being a superhero doesn't require you to continuously strike fear in your fellow comrades too."
Batman could have continued to banter with the Flash about why it is necessary for him to keep up a persona, and why he has every right to be 'grumpy'. However, he found it wiser to take the conversation into a different route.
"Are you implying that the Boy Wonder strikes fear into your heart?" Barry's jaw dropped slightly before looking up thoughtfully. Bruce…no…Batman smiled in amusement.
"Er…sometimes?" He was not expecting that kind of response. Wow Flash…
"All I'm saying is at least Kid Flash knows how to be socially acceptable. Robin can be kind of awkward," he scratched the back of his head and fanned himself. He didn't realize how hot his body was getting. He took a large gulp of his lemonade. It was cool and refreshing, and helped him relax a bit under Batman's stare.
Batman scratched his chin before saying, "At least my ward doesn't jump into things with rash and no plan."
"I'm not trying to make this into a 'who has the better partner' argument," getting cocky the Flash leaned back in his seat resting his arms behind the back of his head.
"Because you know you'll lose?" Flash had his doubts, but he could have sworn he saw a smirk forming on the man's face.
"Wanna bet on it?"
It was a sunny day in Blue Valley with clear skies and chirping birdies. Wally West and his best friend Dick Grayson were walking towards the local grocery store to break the hundred dollar bill he had gotten for his birthday recently.
Both boys sighed contently as they entered the air conditioned building finally out of the hot sun. Dick wiped the sweat off his brow. This was one of those days he actually wished he had his sunglasses. However, he was Dick Grayson, not Robin in civvies. So, he had to deal with the sun. Luckily his freckled friend had to as well.
At least he didn't have to wear that heavy hoodie that hid his lean muscles, or that dark jacket. He felt a lot more comfortable in his well fitted t shirt and cargo shorts. Wally had settled for a wife beater and basketball shorts himself.
When they reached customer service Wally groaned seeing the length of the line they would have to wait in. But when he looked down at Dick he suddenly had a gleam in his eye.
"Alright, you wait here in line while I go check out to see what kind of snacks they have. This line is going to take forever, so it'll be quicker if I get the stuff now," Robin rolled his eyes at the red head. Like heck he was going to use him as a scape goat so he could go running around.
"Why do I have to stay?" Dick pouted, crossing his arms and sticking out his pink bottom lip. Wally chuckled to himself at his younger friend's childlike behavior. Sometimes it was cute…
"Because Dude, you have way more patience than I do. Plus it's my birthday Dick!"
"Idiot, it was your birthday two week ago. And I don't care," …sometimes.
Wally scowled him before trying another excus…tatical idea, "Because it's my birthday money!"
"Exactly. It's your birthday money. So you should wait in line. Plus, If it's about money I could just…" Wally slapped his palm over Dick's mouth before letting him finish.
"No way can you break my hundred. I doubt you've ever held anything smaller than a fifty in your hands," Dick's left eye twitched involuntarily.
"There was a time before Bruce you know," he muttered rather darkly
It was Wally's turn to roll his eyes, "Yeah Dude, but you were like nine. I doubt your parents let you have any money whatsoever."
"Jerk."
"Pretty pleeeease Diiiiick? Plus I know my way around the store better and…and…you're my best friend in the whole wide world!" Dick gaped at him for play the 'best friend' card along with the whining voice and puppy dog face which he loathed. Coming from Wally it was just really irritating,heavy on the 'ir'. Like 'irregular' to 'regular'.
"…Fine. But you better find a bag of bugles and some captain crunch for me," Dick smiled at Wally, and the red head smiled back before they bro fist pounded. The speedster than ran off, at normal speed in public mind you, and the dark haired boy waited patiently for his return.
Dick tapped his fingers at his sides to the beat of the pop music they played on the loud speaker. It was 'How Do You Sleep', but he had no shame in liking Jesse McCartney. The guy had a great voice and good music.
But as he got lost in the melody he suddenly felt really uncomfortable. He turned his body to make it appear as if he were looking at the flower arrangements and used his peripheral vision to see who was the person creeping up in his space.
The guy was about six feet tall with a slouch and had a giant pot belly. He was greasy looking and had hair sticking out in every part of his body except for the top of his head. He had shifty looking eyes, and a serious monobrow going on. He was wearing a stretched and dirty tank top with an unbutton flannel shirt and a filthy baseball cap. He even had on paint clad ripped jeans, and sandels…with yellowish socks.
To sum it up, he was gross. Really really gross. He wasn't claustrophobic, he just got a weird vibe from this guy. It was awkward and unusual. Dick decided to take a step forward instead of saying anything to him hoping to create some space. However, when he took a step further the man took another one as well. He raised one of his eyebrows to this, but decided it was just his paranoia. He took another step away from him closer to the little old lady in front of him in the line. Once again, the man scooted closer to him. Now this was definitely not just a coincidence.
He glanced at the man behind him, it could have just been Dick's imagination, but he could have sworn the guy was leering at his ass. Deciding he wasn't looking for trouble he took the more polite route to handle things.
"Sir, I don't mean to be rude, but do you think you could back off, just a little bit?" he asked with as much kindness he could muster up.
The man smiled at him weirdly and squinted his eyes at him, "What you talkin bout sonny boy?"
Dick bit his lip deciding it was better to not get annoyed at the way the guy spoke, "I understand you must be in a rush to be assisted, but taking a step closer to me every time I do is not going to make you wait any less time than you would if you outfiltrated my space bubble."
The man frowned deeply at him, but he still kept up that strange look in his eye. He shrugged his shoulders and opened his mouth to speak. Out came some pretty rank smelling breath. Like coffee grounds, eggs, and day old fish.
"A'ight, I get it."
Dick nodded at him and smiled politely before turning back towards the line. Unfortunately, the guy still didn't seem to get it because he still got closer to Dick as he moved forward. Now he was getting pretty angry at the man.
"Ok, mister, you're really making me feel pretty uncomfortable right now. I'd appreciate it if you backed just a little bit," he seethed with annoyance trying hard to not make a scene. Why was this guy weirding him out so badly?
"Look pretty boy, yur overeact'n," he then grinned at Dick
He couldn't but notice the guy had a creepy set of white teeth, but that was when he realized why he was weirded out. He should have realized from the beginning what kind of man this is being a vigilante of Gotham. But it was the pedosmile that really gave him away! Dun dun dun!
He had to defuse this situation carefully, "I'm just asking you to give me enough room before I bump into this poor old lady."
"Oh I don't mind dearie," the old woman replied winking at him. He blushed in embarrassment while also making a sour face. He was officially disconcerted.
"Well I do!" He cried out in frustration at both of them. It was a hot day, and he was getting tired of dealing with pervs.
The man scoffed at him before leaning on the counter and looking down at him with some sense of ego, "I can tell you ain't from round these parts. But if you're lookin' to make some trouble you better look elsewhere pretty boy."
He could punch a wall right about now, "I'm not! I just don't like being so close to pervy old men who are stupid enough to think they can hide the fact they've been leering at me while trying to get up in my personal space!"
He backed off in surprise before sneering at him with his hands on his waist, "You accusin' me of commitin' profanity boy?"
Dick rolled his eyes at the man's attempt to make himself appear intimidating, "Oh please! I'm from Gotham old man. I know a perv when I see one."
Wally was happily pushing his shopping cart towards the customer service line. The contents of the basket was just about snack and drink and candy his uncle, aunt, and parents disallowed him from having claiming it was too unhealthy. He was Kid Flash for goodness sake, he needed any kind of fuel he could get. When he looked to see Dick had moved about halfway through the line he was ecstatic, of course that was until he noticed he was in a stare down with the man behind him.
"Dick! What's going on here?"
The young boy turned to see his best friend coming towards him with a cart full of greasy sugary foods and drinks. A feeling of relief entered his body, and the tenseness in his shoulders left. Now he wasn't left alone with this pervy pedophile anymore.
"Yur little friend here is bein' mighty rude West," Uh-oh, it would seem Wally already knew the creep.
"I apologize sir," Wally smiled at the man before glaring at the young boy hissing into his ear, "Dude, what is up with you?"
The dark haired boy gaped at him with wide blue eyes before snarling back at him flustered and irritated.
"That man has been up in my nut sack since you left me alone in this line. First he kept sneaking peeks at me, then he kept taking steps closer and closer to me barely touching my arm."
He then un-subconsciencely wiped off the spots on his arm the guy lightly bumped into multiple times. Wally shook his head at his friend thinking he was just overreacting.
"They're just friendly people ok? I know it must be different in Gotham-"
Dick interrupted him quickly, "No Wally, I know a pedo when I see one. They're all the same pervs wherever you go."
The red head slapped his forehead, "I think you're just overreacting because you've probably never been around normal folk before."
"Wow Kid Idiot, you know I wasn't always the adopted son of a billionaire," Dick argued making a firm line with his mouth. Now he was getting more pissed that his best friend didn't believe someone was robbing his cradle, and that he was even accused of only growing up around money.
"Yeah, you went from dirt poor to filthy rich. Never the middle ground," Wally corrected, hoping to make it clear he didn't think Dick was just a spoiled rich kid. Nonetheless, Dick was still insulted. He wasn't socially retarded just because of his class. Plus, Wally knew Dick never chose where he grew up.
"You don't think much before you speak a lot Kid Blunt."
The older boy put his hand on Dick's shoulder in a comforting way, "Oh man, sorry Dude…look, my point is you're just not used to crowded lines."
Dick almost wanted to laugh out loud, "Does being in the circus mean anything to you?"
Wally threw his arms up in the air before whispering harshly into his ear, "Ok well! Fine, I'm going to leave you again and hide by that rack of candy bars, if it happens again I'll be watching this time."
The younger boy nodded furiously and watched his friend retreat to the said rack of candy bars. He turned his body face front to the line waiting for the man behind him to act. But this time he didn't move forward.
For awhile they continued going through the line and the man never got too close to Dick again which only aggravated him more, because now Wally thought he was being overly dramatic. However, he felt the weird awkward chill go up his spine once more, only this time…
"OW! HEY!" …the sicko pinched his butt.
"OK THAT'S IT!" Out from the rack of candy Wally flew over and picked up Dick bridal style defensively holding him close, which irritated the shorter boy. What did he tell the team about picking him up?
"YOU BEST BE BACKING OFF YOU SICK PEDO GRAMPS!" Wally yelled at the man angrily. The man was about to roll up his sleeves ready for fight and took a swing at him. Wally took this as an opening.
The red head dropped Dick on his head, much to his discontent, and jumped the on the man's back! People started point and gasp, but none of them really wanted to end the fight. Not too many entertaining events happened in Blue Valley.
"Get off of me you crazy chimp! GAH!"
The man screamed as Kid Flash took a nice big chomp on his hairy shoulder. Robin wasn't one to let his teammates down, so he swooped under the man's legs unhooked his belt and yanked his pants down.
He begun to stumble around and Kid Flash took advantage of this and ripped his flannel off before tying the clothe around his eyes and give the guy a mucus filled wet willy!
Robin than took a swing at the man's pot belly while he tried to grab at the young boy. He dodged the greasy hands and continued to slap the man's stomach silly until it was red.
Kid Flash jumped down and closed his eyes and did a silent prayer before taking hold of the man's gray yellow underoos and yanking it up high!
"EEEEEEK!" the man screeched at the atomic wedging he was receiving. Robin cackled evilly before kneeing him in the crotch. The guy groaned at first causing both of the boys to blushing awkwardly grossing them out. Robin than decide to knee ever head and fiercely causing him to groan in pain this time falling to the ground grabbing his crotch.
Once the battle was over they did a fist pound and grinned proudly at their handywork.
"What do you two boys think you're doing harassing a senior citizen?"
They turned around and came face to face with a couple security guards. They were in deep shit.
"These hur boys been acting like yahoos this whole. They been nutin but trouble! Freckles went apeshit on me," the old man cried out still rolling around on the ground holding his crotch. The guards looked back the two boys.
They looked at each other nervously and chorused, "But…but…but!"
"You guys got banned from a grocery store? What did you two do? What did Wally do? Eat the whole store out?" Barry had his arms crossed and he shook his head as he imagined his nephew running a muck at the local supermarket. He could just picture the empty aisles of discarded boxes, wrappers, and containers.
Bruce didn't even cross his arms, he kept his at his sides with a stern facial expression, "We are not happy."
"Like we haven't heard that before," Wally muttered, refusing to acknowledge the batglare he was receiving more insulted than scared, "and NO I did NOT eat the whole store out Uncle Barry."
Wally crossed his arms defiantly. Dick just stood there quietly. He had not backsassed Bruce once like Kid had, and his posture was lot more polite, sort of at least. Maybe there was a point to Robin being easier to raise than Kid. However, he was going to give the little man the benefit of the doubt.
The blonde man groaned inwardly, but kept up a smile around his fellow League member, "Then what happened?"
Ladies and gentlemen, Wallace West opened his mouth and his first words were, "This old fart-"
"Kid!" Make me proud why dontcha? Bruce sent him a knowing look. This made Barry even more flustered.
The boy scoffed loudly before restarting his story, "Ok, whatever, This elderly guy, was acting all creepy with Dick here. So all I did was tried to defend my best friend's honor!"
"Dick?" Bruce asked looking towards the smaller boy. He looked up obediently once he had received the silent permission to talk from his mentor.
A boastful smile threatened to tug at the billionaire's lips. The blonde stuck his tongue out at him when he wasn't looking. Dick's looked at their mentors with shiney childlike blue eyes, and rosy cheeks full of innocence before speaking.
"It's true! The old fart wouldn't get out of my space bubble!" Bruce's mouth twitched, and Barry openly chuckled sending the other man a look that clearly read: real easy to work with huh Brucie?
He rubbed his temples in frustration ignoring Barry's taunting, "You sure you weren't being overly dramatic?"
"I promise,Bruce," Dick had to pick this moment to be bratty didn't he? The blonde's sniggering went from chuckling to outright laughing. Wally however was not amused at all.
"Oh, so he can say 'old fart' but I can't?" he grumbled just loud enough for Barry to hear
"It's cute when he does," the blonde insisted looking at Bruce. Of course, it's only cute when it's not your own ward.
The red haired boy had the urge to trap his friend into a noogie, "Dude, that is totally unfair."
Barry simply grinned at him before giving a hearty laugh and ruffling his hair with a rough calloused hand. Wally batted it away, he hated being treated like he was…he was…Dick's age!
After grilling the boys for their antics the four of them entered the Allen Household. The heavenly smell of meat, vegetables, and freshly baked buttered rolls enter their noises. All feelings of competition or defeat have left at the sight of the feast and Iris' sweet sweet smile.
With bellies full, jokes thrown out, and stories told the two men and their boys sat in the living room comfortably letting their meals settle in their stomachs. Bruce and Barry sunk into their seats lazily as Dick and Wally decided to play a round of two person 'ninja'. When one of you was a meta-human and the other an amazing acrobat it was way more fun. Eventually nightfall came and was time to go.
They all stepped out onto the pouch to see a sleek black town with tinted windows pull up in front of the residence. A few of the Allen's neighbors peeked out from their homes to see who the expensive car belonged to which meant they had to stay in character.
"Barry, let Iris know she cooked a wonderful pot roast, but Dick and I must really return to Gotham. We have business we must attend to you understand!" he said with a sheepish voice scratching the back of his head, but Wally knew better then to buy the act.
"Thanks for staying for dinner!" Barry caught him into a bear hug taking full advantage of Bruce in his civvies. The younger speedster grinned widely while Dick snickered obnoxiously behind his hands.
As they walked towards the vehicle that awaited them, Bruce looked back and called to the other man, "I believe we should call this battle a tie."
Barry smirked at him and nodded, both Dick and Wally held confused looks on their faces.
"What's he talking about Uncle Barry?"
Once again he ruffled Wally's hair making him scowl, "Nothing kid, now head upstairs and do your homework."
Wally groaned, but did just as his Uncle ordered him to do and went upstairs. Well, at least went upstairs. Afterwards he would call up Dick to talk and play Call of Duty on xbox live with him all night, but Uncle Barry didn't need to know that part. The poor guy could continue to believe he was a well behaved young man.
Then again, Wally didn't notice Barry peeking from outside his door seeing him disobey orders. Somebody was getting laundry duty at Mount Justice for a whole week in the morning. But it beat having to scrub down the batcave and batmobile for a month.
Author's Note: Thankyou for reading and please leave a review! It'll only take ten seconds, and I want to know if I've done well or not. This event was based on a real life experience with a pervy old man who needs to learn personal space...well, the fight wasn't, though I wish it did.
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