One day, Reimu walked around Gensokyo. It was very fun. She passed over the Misty Lake and realized something.
"Wait..." Reimu said. "I'm a frog!" She hopped around but Cirno appeared and froze her.
"Hah! Uncultured moronic frogs!" Cirno shouted. "Get a PhD and then try to talk to me!"
"Cirno, stop!" Suwako said. "Why are you doing that to the poor frogs?" She hopped.
"The uncultured toads were hopping towards me!" Cirno said. "I am a Doctor of the Sanitary Sciences! They disgust me!"
"Please! I'll do anything..." Suwako said.
"Then pay me with your body," Cirno said in a very suave tone of voice, grabbing Suwako's collar to pull her closer.
Suwako looked away bashfully. "I-I... That's not what I meant, but if it's the only way..."
"Stop, foul villain!" Remilia shouted, swooping down from the sky. "I am Remilia Scarlet Man/Woman, choose whichever you prefer, defender of Justice, The Innocent, and the Gensokyan Way!" She attcked Cirno, who jumped back.
"Not so fast, Remilia Scarlet Man/Woman, choose whichever you prefer!" Cirno pulled out a green crystal. "See this? This is Europite! It's concentated essence of Europe!"
"No..." Remilia said. "How could you know my weakness?" She fell to her knees.
"How would I not know the weakness of my archenemy Remilia Scarlet Man/Woman, choose whichever you prefer?"
"Cirno... you've defeated me... now there's nobody left to protect Gensokyo..." Remilia said.
"Now, Remilia Scarlet Man/Woman, choose whichever you prefer..." Cirno smiled naughtily, walking up to her. "I think since you're here, I'll make you pay for Suwako, then kill you."
"Oh no you don't!" shouted Koakuma. "I'm Vampireman, and this is the Boy Wonder, Woodpecker!"
Meiling realized something. "Holy Europite, Vampireman!" she shouted, pointing at the Europite in Cirno's hands.
"Oh, so you've defeated Remilia Scarlet Man/Woman, choose whichever you prefer, then..." Koakuma said. "But you'll never defeat me and find my secret identity!" Koakuma threw the Vampirearang at Cirno, who fainted when it hit.
"Remember, kids! Evil never prevails!" Koakuma said. "Tune in next time, same Vampire-time, same Vampire-channel!"