For each other
Jed/Abbey-one shot
It's easy to see the first couple is in love. They've had their hardships, but to everyone they live out the ideal marriage. Abbey sighed thinking of how many times she's heard people say these things. She waits, has to wait, to see her husband. Just then the door opens and the man walks out. He stops to talk to Debbie who nods at his words, then looks in her direction. His eyes fall on her and a smile graces his face. She moves towards him and they embrace, she's been traveling for almost a month. "You're early babe," his voice is in her ear. How does she explain that it's becoming difficult to live without him? She doesn't, instead she pulls away and says, "I just wanted to make sure you were staying out of trouble." Her eyes reveal what her words do not, he reads them easily, he knows. He takes her hand and they walk towards the communication bullpen, it's chaos as usual, familiar faces, many gone. Jed remembers the old days, with Leo, Josh, Sam and Toby. Only CJ is left, she runs his White House, is learning the ropes more quickly than he imagined was possible. She is too young to be this strung out, less than a year to go. He knows he's kept the country safe, created some new jobs, supported the working class, but he's not always sure he was the best person for the job. Would Hoynes have done better? He feels his hand being squeezed and he turns his head and meets her eyes. She has been his true companion for over thirty years. The day he met her, his life changed forever. "Abbey, so many…" Once again his sentence is incomplete, but to her, it has never made more sense. She nods, "things change Jed, and you can't stop that." But why Toby he wonders. "Maybe someday you'll find out," she knows the pain he feels over learning one of his closest advisors betrayed him. For Jed, betrayal is something too hurtful to acknowledge. Abbey knows him; he is only beginning to realize what she knows. That he has been broken by this job.
They head towards the residence, Jed's regrets lie between them. "Missed me huh?" his voice while serious, has a playful undertone. Abbey doesn't answer, she has trouble expressing vulnerability. Jed knows this and he won't press her. "Yes," her simple affirmative is all he needs. "Did something happen?" He knows she'll tell him if she wants too. She doesn't respond, "Do you want something to eat?" Concerned he sits, "sure, anything's fine." He remembers so many kitchen conversations, the girls doing their homework, Abbey cooking, him catching her up on the politics of the day. It was his favorite time with his family. Now Ellie is married, so is Liz. Zoey is off pursuing her dream, and her parents are still the first couple of the United States. They're still doing a routine, one that comforts them. "Abbey," his tone is firmer now, something she isn't telling him. Abbey doesn't respond yet, she's not sure how. She would like to wait for a few months until he's out of office, he doesn't need more strain, it'll be damaging to his health. He watches her every movement carefully, she's moving stiffly, and she's moving like she's in pain. The mere thought that she's cooking for him if it hurts her brings him to a standing position behind her. He takes the knife out of her hand and puts his arms around her. "Something's hurting you," he can't see her face. He's giving her some more time.
Abbey stands feeling the tears well up. She couldn't hide from him, she came home a week early for this and yet now she wishes she hadn't. "Jed, I…" she can't get the words out, this will hurt him, this will just bring him more pain. "We're in it together," he knows that tone, he's heard it as she's told patients that they're ill, that there's not much hope left. He feels her body, she's lost weight, and he knows her too well. She feels his pain come as he puts together the few clues she's left him. "I'm sick," her voice is steady now. He nods against her head, "Yeah babe, I figured that's what you were trying to say." "Jed, I'm scared," she would never admit this if it didn't drive her every waking moment. "I know," he doesn't pretend he can cure her. She knows he doesn't make false promises. "I won't leave you, we'll go through this side by side," that's a promise he's making to her. He knows she'll believe him, he wouldn't make it otherwise. She nods, "when do we tell the girls?" His daughters, their girls that was painful to think about. "How long?" he hates that ask that question. "They're not sure, a while, a year," that was the positive one. "Or…" he hates to do this. "Or a few months," she knows how he thinks. "We should tell them soon," he doesn't want to. "I don't want to tell them either." "I love you Abbey, more than the day I married you." She feels the cruelty of the situation spreading. She was so looking forward to having him back, to having a life outside the White House again. "We'll go back to the farm Abbey, as soon as I leave office, we'll go back there and we'll stay there." He is promising, she feels it. "I will give you the farm Abbey, we'll be happy there away from all this," he knows she is beginning to loath what this place has done to them. He is promising her their old life, but it won't be the same. "Things change Abbey, my love for you never will," that's enough for her. She turns in his arms, "let me make you something to eat, you need to get back." He shakes his head, "you're in pain Abbey." She shakes her head, "I'm happiest right here," he lets her chop.
Later that evening:
Abbey makes her way to the bed, eight years, how young they were then. How much time has gone by, Zoey has grown up, moved on, is no longer a little girl. She is strong again, but always haunted. Liz, dear Liz, has given them grandchildren, and is happy. Ellie, so newly married, so soon to be a mother. She wants to see her daughter give birth, wants to hold this grandchild. Will she be alive when Zoey gets married? She doesn't know. She hears Jed come in the room, "Abbey?" she detects panic, "in bed Jed," she doesn't say more. He appears, "are you okay?" So it begins, the endless worry, dragging at him day and night. "I'm fine Jed, I have meds, they're helping, I feel fine," he knows her too well. But she's telling him to believe her so for the moment he will.
He gets ready for bed and climbs in next to her, "Abbey we have to tell CJ soon." She nods, he's right. "Tomorrow," she doesn't want to think about it. They turn off their lights, "good night," his voice penetrates the darkness into which she is falling. It's time she asks him, "Jed?" "Yeah," his voice holds her there. "I'm going need you to hold me here, when things get too…" she tries to explain. "I won't let you go where I can't' follow, not yet, not now," another promise, he's made many tonight. "Promise?" she has to ask. "Yes," one word, such a little word, with such a big meaning.