Pies, Cakes, And Éclairs: Oh My

Disclaimer: I am in no way connected to the show or its actors. I write for the fun of it only.

Note: This story is set in season seven.

Note: I want to apologize in advance. I have watched way too many three stooges episodes.

Gibbs sat at his desk, glaring at the piece of paper in his hand. The glare intensified as he re-read the memo, he was silently commanding the words to change. But they stayed the same.

Him and his team were ordered to attend a dinner being held for several political figures. It wouldn't be so bad if they were there to offer protection, but they were not. They were ordered to attend as guests, and they had to dress for the affair.

"I for one would love to see you in formal attire." Ziva told the man, only to have Gibbs switch his glare from the memo to Ziva. She quickly lowered her head and went back to work typing at her computer.

Tony chuckled, and Gibbs glared at him. The younger man suddenly found the file he was reading very interesting. Tim refused to look up from his computer, he did not want the glare sent his way.

"Giiiiiiiibssss!" Abby rushed into the squad room, a look of pure panic on her face. She had a piece of paper clutched in her hands.

"Problem, Abbs?" Gibbs asked, already knowing the answer.

"Do I really have to dress up?" She asked, her voice a whine.

"Fraid so."

"But, I don't want too." She pouted. "This." She held the memo out with a disgusted face and dropped it into Gibbs' trashcan. "Says I have to wear an evening gown."

"You're not getting any sympathy from me, Abby." Gibbs said. "I have to wear a tux."

"I'd rather wear a tux." The Goth groaned.

"It'll be fun, Abbs." Tony said, earning him a glare from both Gibbs and Abby. "Didn't you ever play dress up as a kid? You know, wear your Mom's print flower dress and string of pearls?"

"Speaking from personal experience, Tony?" Ziva asked.

"I do not want to go." Abby stomped her foot and crossed her arms across her chest.

"Too bad, Abby." Gibbs said, his voice stern. "You are going, and you are dressing up. I do not want to go either, but this is a direct order from SecNav. You will all go and you will all behave yourselves." His gaze shifted from one member of his team to the next. Making sure they all knew that he was directing that command to all of them.

"Don't worry bout me, Boss." Tony smiled. "I'm looking forward to it."

"You would." Abby said, a pout still on her face.

"Get back to work Abbs." Gibbs said.

Abby stomped her foot once more, to show her displeasure. But a warning look from Gibbs and she hurried out of the squad room and back to her lab.

Gibbs sighed and went back to typing the report he was working on, hoping that they would get a case on Saturday night and have to miss the dinner.

Luck was not on his side, and on Saturday night he was dressed in a tux. Gibbs walked into the large room where the party was being held, and sighed. He was really not looking forward to this, he would much rather be in his basement working on his boat.

"Looking good, Boss." Tony smiled as he walked over to the older man, he too was dressed in a black tux. "This place is loaded with single women."

"All of whom are currently trying to ignore you." Ziva said, as she joined the two men.

Tony stared at her for a moment with his mouth hanging open. She was wearing a long red dress with a split up high on one side, red high heals, and had her hair down and slightly curled. He thought she looked beautiful.

"I hate this I hate this I hate this." Abby walked over to the group, muttering. She was wearing a long black dress and black sandals. Her hair was down and she was wearing light makeup. Her spider web tattoo on her neck was covered by a black wrap.

"Wow, you look great Abbs." Tim said, walking over.

"I look like a freak." She whined. "I can't think in this thing."

"You don't have to think, Abbs." Tony said with a smile.

"Then you should have a great time DiNozzo." A voice from behind him said. Tony turned around to see FBI agent Sacks.

"What are you doing here, Slacks?" Tony asked.

"Same as you, order from the high ups. Try to stay out of trouble." He said, with a smile. Then walked off.

Tony started to follow, but a glare from Gibbs stopped him.

"This is not the time or the place for the two of you to continue your childish competition."

"Right Boss."

"And take his advise, stay out of trouble."

An hour later, Tony was not happy. The woman that he had asked three times to dance with him, and that had refused each time, was now dancing with Agent Sacks.

"Relax Tony." Tim said, the two men were standing in front of the desert table talking. "You've danced with over a third of the women here."

"What has Slacks got that I don't?" Tony asked.

"At the moment, a knock out blond dance partner." Abby said, as she joined the two men.

"Not helping, Abby." Tim said.

"This party is great." Jimmy Palmer said, as he also joined them.

"Can it Palmer." Tony growled.

"What's wrong with him?" Jimmy asked Abby.

"Agent Sacks seem to have out-charmed him." Ziva said, as she joined them. "I saw Tony ask her to dance three times."

"You were watching me, Ziva?" Tony asked, winking at her.

"No." She answered quickly. Then she picked up a pastry from the table and looked at it. "What is this?"

"It's called an éclair." Abby answered. "It's really good."

"It looks weird." Ziva said, eyeing the desert suspiciously.

"Just take a bite, you'll love it." Abby encouraged her.

"Abby's right." Jimmy said. "They are really good."

"Okay." Ziva said, still not sounding convinced.

"And how is NCIS doing?" They turned to see Agent Sacks standing there. "Having fun DiNozzo? I am, Melody is a great dancer. She was glad I asked her to dance, seems some flake has been brothering her all night. Begging for a dance." He smirked and then smiled. "I promised her the next dance." Then he started to walk away.

"Hey, Slacks." Tony said, taking the éclair from Ziva's hand before she had a chance to bite into it. As soon as Sacks turned, Tony smashed the pastry into his face. Cream filling oozed out and ran down his face.

The other man glared at Tony, who was now the one smirking. Then Sacks picked up a cream pie from the table and smashed it into Tony's face.

"Food Fight!" Abby yelled, grabbing a pie and flinging it across the room. The pie hit another FBI agent on the side of his head. He grabbed a cake from the serving tray next to him and threw it at Abby, but she ducked and the cake hit Ziva in the face.

Ziva glared at the man, then picked up a pie and threw it at him. He ducked and it hit the woman standing behind him.

Within seconds, food was flying all around the room and people were shouting and running for cover.

Tony, Ziva, Tim, Abby, and Jimmy were happily throwing deserts and laughing. Their main targets were the FBI, but hit other targets when no FBI Agents were available.

Tony saw a pie flying towards him and ducked just in time, then laughed when the pie smashed into the side of Tim's head. The laugh was short lived though because another pie that he did not see coming hit him in the back of the head, then another hit him in the face a second later.

Abby was standing in front of Jimmy and saw a cake heading their way, she quickly ran behind Jimmy and the cake hit him.

"Hey!" Jimmy protested, glaring at Abby. "No fair."

Then another pie hit Abby in the back of the head and Jimmy laughed, then stopped when he was hit with another pie.

Gibbs, Ducky, Vance, Fornell, and the SecNAv were standing together talking. They all turned when they heard the commotion, then stared in shock as they watched a room full of adults throwing food at each other.

They watched as security ushered out some of the politicians, other politicians were involved in the food fight. The five men saw that most of the activity was between NCIS and the FBI.

Gibbs and Fornell stepped in between the battling agents, as soon as they thought it was clear. But Tony and Agent Sacks both threw pies, seeing the two older men too late. Sack's pie hit Fornell in the side of his head. Tony's pie smashed into Gibbs face.

Both the NCIS and the FBI immediately stopped and stared in horror at the two lead agents.

"We're dead." Abby squeaked.

An hour later, the NCIS and FBI were busy cleaning up the mess they has made. They all had went home to change, with strict orders to be back immediately. None wanted to further anger Gibbs and Fornell, so they made the trip as fast as possible.

Gibbs had said very little, and that was what had the NCIS people worried. He was no where in sight at the moment, and that also worried his team.

"I can not believe you actually hit Gibbs with a pie." Ziva whispered to him, as they both scrubbed a table.

"I wasn't expecting him to be there." Tony defended himself, also whispering.

"You should aim before you fire." Ziva stopped cleaning and glared at him. "Now we are in trouble."

"You're in trouble because you were also throwing food." Tony also stopped cleaning and returned the glare.

"Hey!" Tim hissed, from the table next to the one they were cleaning. "Will you two stop arguing and start cleaning. We're in enough trouble as it is. We need to have this room spotless before Gibbs comes back."

"Relax McWorryWart." Tony said, as he started cleaning again. "This place looks better now then it did before we had our food fight."

"That's not good." Abby whispered, she was scrubbing the same table as Tim. "When we're done, Gibbs will kill us. I say we spill some more pies around, so it'll take us longer to clean."

"Good idea." Jimmy said, nervously. He had seen Gibbs mad many times before, but not this mad at him.

"Is that so Palmer."

They all jumped and spun around, Gibbs was standing a few feet away. He still looked ticked. They saw the FBI agents following Fornell out of the room.

"You all have one hour to be at my house, do not be late." Then he turned and walked off.

"Why does he want us at his house?" Jimmy asked.

"Take a wild guess, Jimbo." Tony said.

"We are so dead." Abby whined.

"H…he wouldn't really….you know……to me?" Palmer asked, in a shaky voice. He knew that Gibbs spanked his team when they earned it, but he had never spanked Jimmy before. Ducky had only spanked him a couple times.

The silence from the others gave him the answer.

TBC