mom

more mush!! oh noo!!! there's a mushy side to me yet!! all hope is gone!!!!!!!*ani-chan bashes head onto wall*

Bad fic. I am one pitiful person. I just felt the urge to share this ugly piece of writing.



Yellow tongues of fire dance before me as I watched the firewood burn. Nothing is to be heard: no buzz, no rustle, nothing. Even my heart seems to stop at the silence.

I remember him again. There, in front of me, behind the fire. I see a sleeping child, an infant boy with black hair. He was wrapped up so that others and himself would be protected from his strong ki.

I found him in the river while I was travelling in the forest. He was crying, and I got so irritated that I picked him up, cradled him in my arms, and sang him the song my parents used to sing to me before the were killed when I was barely five years old:

Here's to the few, who fared my love
Only for you, I cared my love
I've given it hope, and I know it's you
Enclosed in silence
Here's to you, who saved my love
Only to you, I gave my love
I've given it tonight
And now it's not all that appears...
(Lea----TOTO)

For a few moments his eyes gazed into mine, looking deeply as if he was reading my soul. Then I saw his eyes sparkle just before he burst into a giggle, the cutest a baby could ever make. We laughed for a while, and then I knew: I was to be the one to take care of him.

It took me a few hours just to see that we had a problem. A big problem: How the heck am I going to bathe you??

Fine. So he smelled like a skunk for a few days. But that thing was solved after one week: he started ripping off the bandages. I screamed, "AACK! What the hell are you-----" Then it hit me. He was strong enough to control his own power.

After that stinky incident, I needed to give him a name. I just can't go on my whole life calling him 'kid'. I saw him across the bonfire. He was looking at it, like in a trance. He watched it, enchanted by the bright flames as they danced gracefully against the black of the night. I softly murmured the word meaning flame, "...hi..." I smiled. I have heard of that name before. "Hiei."

It was amazing to see how Hiei grew so quick. One moment you see a little toddler playing in the grass. Next thing you know, you'd see a gallant young man, strong and brave.

Yes, time does fly fast. But within those times were the happiest, and saddest, moments of my life. Those were times when memories were made. Memories of the son I treated as my own, memories of Hiei.

* * *

I remember when he was no more than four years old. He had just come from a quick adventure in the forest. I was cooking dinner when he came, his hands behind his back. I greeted him with a 'hi.'

"Hi..." he answered. Then, he suddenly whipped out an orange rose from behind his back. "...Mother."

My jaw dropped. I didn't know what to say, even how to react. I just fell on my knees and held his hands, tightly holding the stem, bleeding from the thorns. Tears were rolling down my cheeks. I looked at him and he gave me a little smile. My arms hugged him so tight I can't believe he didn't suffocate.

It was the first time he called me 'Mother.'

* * *

One event that almost made me go crazy was when he got that third eye:

He was already a young man then. One afternoon, he just said, "Bye."

"Going trekking again, I presume."

He didn't answer.

"Well, you're coming back for dinner, aren't you?"

He shrugged. I frowned. "All right, just keep out of trouble, ok?" I told him as I patted his back.

Ok, so he didn't come home that night. And the night after that. Normal occurrence... but the third time was really scary. My heart started beating faster. It seems that that horrible scream I heard yesterday makes me feel nervous, although I don't know why. Dammit, he still hasn't come home. I can't think, can't eat, can't sleep... I don't even know if I'm angry, scared, worried... I don't know!!! I'm in full shambles! How long will this frustration take? Hiei, Hiei, come home, please!

*Sniff...*

I'm sick. I haven't eaten, or slept yet. It's the seventh day. I've searched the forest, the cities, everybody else I know, everywhere you could imagine. Now I'm back here at home, waiting. And now questions come mingling in my mind: Did I do something wrong? Did I say, or didn't say, something? Could I have loved him more???? My eyesight was getting blurry. I was feeling drowsy... I couldn't take it anymore. I fell asleep.

I woke up just when the sun was coming up. I stepped outside. Something startled me. My eyes, still blurry from my crying last night, were fixed on the path. A dark figure was walking. I felt my heart flutter. I slowly walked towards the path, soon broke into a sprint, and hugged Hiei in my arms.

I don't know how long we stood there, but it was long enough for him to realize he's been out far too long.

"...sorry..." he said in a soft tone.

I looked at him with teary eyes and touched his face. "Where... where were you?" My voice was shaking.

He looked away, I stroked his bangs up. A bandage covered his forehead. "Wha--- what happened to you?"

He let out a big sigh and told me everything. From his birth to losing his necklace and deciding on getting a jagan. I know I should have been angry, But I just understood everything. I also lost my parents, but my story is nothing compared to his.

Since then, I started treating him better, not that I didn't before, but because I understood him now, I know what he needs: continuous love and support. He needed a loved one, not just someone who gives you food or a house to sleep in. He needed open arms to come home to.

Sometimes, when he goes out, I would joke: "Need another eye?" And he would always give me a little smile, which he knows I like so much. And I would start feeling like kissing him...but...I don't think he'd like that.

* * *

The hardest time of my life was when he approached me one night:

I was cleaning my dad's katana. I thought he was hungry, so I offered him some of the snack I was planning to eat later. He ignored me and sat down.

"I have to go..." his tone was serious.

I didn't consider his seriousness, and joked him, "Why, getting a fourth eye?"

He didn't smile. I was taken aback. Now I know something was going on. I turned serious. "Where are you going?"

"I...uhrum...I'm going to the... human world."

My eyes literally popped out. "To NINGENKAI?!?! What the--?!? What are you planning to do?"

"...My sister..."

I regained composure. "Your sister?"

He told me about the Reikai tantei mission to save her from that ugly guy who kidnapped her. I understood his reason at once.

Although it's hard for me, I allowed him to go. He says he doesn't know when he's coming back... IF he's coming back.

We walked to the door. I walked slowly, thinking, and he was waiting for me at the door. I got there, we stared at each other. I handed him my dad's sword. "Take this, you'll be needing it. I'll keep this for you," I said as I took his katana.

"But------" He was about to protest.

"Yes, I know, It's my last remembrance of my dad. But It's the only thing I could give you... to remember..."

He closed his eyes and smiled, indicating that he's accepted my gift. He looked into me, "Thank you..."

My eyes were brimming up, "For what?"

"...For taking care of me..."

I was speechless, I couldn't cry. He slowly took out an orange rose from his pocket.

"...Mother,"

He quickly turned around and walked away, not giving me an opportunity to hug him one last time. He was probably thinking I wouldn't let go.

I held the rose in my hand. I fell on my knees, my eyes looking out to a pathway where the last glance of Hiei, my Hiei, was seen.

I was his mother, my status only recognized twice, but I did the duties of a mother for a son fallen from the sky...

* * *

I stood up, startled by what sounds like a dry twig being stepped on. I walked to the door and opened it. The torches I installed lit up the mouth of the pathway. And right there stood a smiling young man in black, his hair exactly the way I remember it. I ran. I ran to him, my arms wide open. I shouted out his name, "HIEI!!"






*ani-chan stops bashing* oh yeah, you must be wondering about the orange rose thing (if you've read the "orange" fic). I just saw some once. can't be forgotten....for some reason... dunno.

mush, mush, mush *shiver*. I told you it was bad. Criticisms, flames and death threats are highly expected. No fear, I won't bite.