A/N: Not sure what time period this is in, so let's just say it's really vague, alright? Also, I know about zero things about boarding school's so nothing's the least bit accurate. Mainly focusing on the life outside of school anyways, so it shouldn't be a huge problem. Un-beta'd.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, sadly.

Warnings throughout the story: Depression, self-harm, suicidal thoughts/mentions of past suicide attempts, homophobia, minor character death (in the past), I'll add more if something comes up.

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'two broken pieces tend to make a whole one
when placed near each other.'

"Are you sure you're going to be alright? I mean, who knows what kind of people there are, and what if your roommate is a horrible person? Are you positive you packed the scissors I gave you? I mean, they're hardly useful in combat but you can still stab with them, and–"

"Hazel," Nico interrupted quietly. "Do me a favor and stop talking for a moment, alright? I'll be fine."

Hazel sighed and pressed her lips into a tight line, hands clasped together on her lap. Nico noticed how pale her face had become since their train had left the station, but decided not to comment on it. The silence hung heavy on the air, until Hazel let her head drop and cast her eyes down. "I'm just worried about you," she muttered while keeping her gaze on the floor of the train. Nico let out a silent sigh. He wasn't used to comforting anyone, and he wasn't good at it. No matter what he said, he probably ended up sounding harsh or uncaring. Sometimes he thought it was a bit worrying how he'd gotten so used to driving people that away he did it without even meaning to.

"I'm going to be just fine, Hazel. And don't– you don't need to worry about my roommate, at least. I wrote him this summer and told about my... condition, and he didn't seem bothered by it." Which wasn't exactly the whole truth, but Nico really didn't want Hazel thinking about it too much. If she got too anxious her blood sugar tended to drop dangerously low, and he had enough problems as it was without having to deal with a fainted sister.

Besides, he wasn't even lying that much. He had written the guy, Leo, in early June so it would've still been easy to change rooms if he'd had any complaints. To be honest, Nico could've done without writing the damn thing at all. He'd been so vague about things he was fortunate if the other boy understood a word. ('So, just to be clear about this, I was diagnosed with a mental illness of a sort a couple of years ago...' 'Of course, it's absolutely nothing to worry about and I'd much rather discuss such a personal thing facing you than on a letter...' 'Like I mentioned, it's nothing that could in any way or form harm you so don't worry about it...').

Leo's reply had come a few weeks later, a simple and short letter saying how it was not a big deal but that he'd really like to know more when they met in person if it was possible. ('I don't want to invade your personal space or nothing, but you know, if you're up for some sharing 'n caring...'). Nico hadn't replied, which was probably a bad thing but he just couldn't be bothered. Leo hadn't written him anymore letters either, and Nico was grateful for that. That meant he probably wasn't going to stick his nose too much into Nico's business.

Hazel cleared her throat, and Nico focused his attention back to her. She was getting a bit of her color back, cheeks looking healthier, and her posture more relaxed than a while ago, the smallest of smile pulling at her lips. The more Nico looked at her, the more familiar she seemed. And then it hit him, like a punch to the gut.

For a fraction of second, she looked like Bianca.

No, he thought quickly and stuffed the thought as far to the back of his mind as he could. You're not going to think about that at all. You're doing better – you're not going to relapse again. His arms itched uncomfortably, but if he scratched now Hazel would notice and get upset again. Nico didn't want that. He pressed his nails into his palms, and even if the pain was only temporary it calmed his nerves.

Hazel didn't seem to figure anything was out of ordinary as she smiled at Nico fondly. "Yes, well. I can't help but worry about you all the time. You seem to have the habit of getting into trouble quite easily." She smiled, her face lifting up for a moment. Then her lips wavered, and the smile dimmed. "And as for your, um..." She waved her hand absently to the direction of Nico, her eyes trailing the sleeves of his shirt. "My depression?" Nico asked, eyes narrowed. She flinched, but nodded. "Yes, that. Is it, um. Do you have it... under control?"

There were moments when Nico wanted to punch a hole into a wall, and there were moments when he wanted to suffocate someone and possibly break their ribs afterward. Right now, he was feeling like committing a genocide. A doctor had once told him he had anger issues, and he was probably right, because Nico went from one to hundred in a second.

"Do I 'have it under control', Hazel? Do I look like I fucking have it under control, do I?" He hissed, trying to keep calm. Hazel didn't understand, he kept telling himself. She didn't know what it was like, waking up in the middle of the night to your dying sister's screams. What it was like sinking so low into the spiral of darkness that he felt he could never climb back up, what it was like to dream about all of it ending and waking up with tears on his pillow because he wanted for it all to be done for so badly. She had no clue, and he was glad for that. But sometimes she was just so ignorant–

"I'm sorry," she hurried to say, eyes wide and her face paling again. "I didn't mean– Nico, I'm so sorry. I know it's hard for you, I just... I want to help you." Nico took a deep breath. And another one. She's doing her best, he thought. She's trying. He willed his breathing to slow down. "Yeah. It's... don't worry about it. Just forget about it," he gritted through his clenched teeth.

Hazel looked at him, eyes sad and pitying. Nico hated it. "I can't just forget about it, Nico. What you do to yourself–"

"Haz. I'm telling you, shut it now."

She snapped her mouth close, her shoulders tensing up again. They stared at each other, Nico's eyes cold and empty, Hazel's full of sadness and confusion, and something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Before he could figure it out, she moved her gaze to the window, staring at the trees passing by, and Nico let out a sigh.

They spent the rest of the way to the school in silence.

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