Hi everyone. So this is my first fan-fic ever so please be gentle. I've been working on some other Bellarke stories as well but I've never thought of publishing them until I dug this one up and decided to try. I'm so all over Bellarke right now, it doesn't let me study at all.

The story follows the events of episode 2x09 where Clarke asks Bellamy to go to Mount Weather, with some 'Bellarke' twitches in it, or maybe what I hoped would have happened instead.

Lexa's words kept repeating in her head: "Love is weakness." Clarke didn't want to show any softness in front of the Grounders, especially if front of their leader. She was a leader too, she had to be strong and take tough choices for the good of her people. She gathered all her strength and got up, leaving a deep sigh as she walked towards Bellamy, who was talking with Raven, Octavia and Lincoln.

"You were right", she began, "We need an inside man in Mount Weather, you should go". Her face showed no emotions.

"I thought you hated that plan. That I would get myself killed." Bellamy replied with a surprised, and at the same time a disappointed, look on his face.

"I was being weak, it's worth the risk" Clarke pierced his eyes with hers "Here's my map of Mount Weather", she continued extending only her arm, standing still, as if she didn't want to get any closer to him and released the map when she felt his hand touching hers, sending shivers across her whole body. Her gaze was ice cold "Good luck".

As soon as Clarke turned her back on them, silence took over for a few moments. All four of them were looking to each other for an explanation to what just happened. Especially Bellamy, her words echoing inside his mind: "It's worth the risk". He was wondering what had changed recalling her words from just a few hours ago when he initially suggested the plan. "I can't lose you too", she had told him with pleading in her eyes, to keep him from going. The thought of her caring about him, needing him, was what kept him going. He knew that he couldn't express his feelings just yet, she needed more time to get over what happened with Finn and he respected that. But what she had just said, changed everything inside him, he felt his heart breaking, knowing now for sure that she didn't care about him as much as he thought. Her recent actions disregarded her previous words.

Lincoln's deep voice brought him back from his countless thoughts. "I will come with you, to show you how to get inside through the tunnels". Bellamy nodded positively.

"And I will explain to you what you will be looking for", Raven interrupted, "follow me".

Before he turned around to leave with Raven, his eyes searched for Clarke's figure within the camp, to see her one last time before he departed for his new quest. But she was nowhere to be found.

...

Clarke walked with a fast pace, almost running, to get away from camp as quickly as possible. She couldn't hold her tears back anymore. She needed to find a place to let all her pain out without anyone seeing her. She kept reminding herself that no one should see Clarke Griffin being vulnerable.

After a 5-minute walk, the sounds from the camp had almost entirely faded. She then knew she was alone and could finally let her feelings show. She instantly fell to her knees; her sobbing was loud, full of pain, sorrow and regret. The thought of sending Bellamy to meet his death was making her sick and she couldn't bare it. "What if I never see him again? And the last thing that I said to him was just an emotionless 'good luck'!"

...

When Raven left Bellamy's tent he was gathering his stuff for the trip, but as soon as the flap of the tent closed behind her, he stopped. Bellamy sat on the ground trying to replay in his mind, what had just happened and tried to imagine what he was going to face next. Deep down he understood Clarke's decision, it made sense, she did what had to be done for the greater good of their people, but it still hurt him.

He was still on the ground when he heard the tent flap open again. "Did you forget anything, Raven? I'm still trying to memorize everything you just told me."

He turned around and looked up just to see Clarke standing by the tent's entrance. She didn't speak; she just stood there staring at him.

Bellamy stood up and walked towards her. Her eyes began watering again at the sight of him. "I understand. You did what you had to. Don't worry about me. I will be fine." He forged a smile to make her feel better about her decision.

She looked up to him while he was getting closer. Her eyes widened as soon as she felt his hand gently squeezing her upper arm. She tried to remember Lexa's words again but she couldn't; her mind suddenly went blank. She concentrated on the warmth of his touch, looked down and closed her eyes for a second. He didn't let go; on the contrary he moved one step closer to her. She felt his other hand running gently through her hair and let the tears she was holding back flow on her face soon after she rested her head on his chest. She felt Bellamy's heartbeat quicken and stayed there for a few more moments. His warmth, his smell and his touch lifted her pain away for a second and felt that everything was just a bad dream from which she would soon wake up.

After a while, she moved her head from his chest to meet his deep, dark eyes once again. He moved his hand from her head to wipe the tears that were still racing on her cheeks with his thump.

None of them dared to break the silence that was concealing the space around them. They knew that if they did, they would snap back to reality. Their eyes were talking on their behalf. With a shaky hand, Clarke reached for the back of Bellamy's neck, stepped on her toes and hesitantly closed the space between them. Her lips were shaking as well, but as soon as they touched his, she felt confident. Bellamy instantly responded to her caress by leaning into her and gripping his arms tightly around her waist. The kiss was hungry and passionate, like it would be their last.

Clarke pulled back for just a brief moment before she leaned in for a second kiss "Come back to me" she whispered.

I hope you liked it. I'm open to any comments or suggestions from you so don't hesitate leaving a review.