Title: Hot Chocolate
Author: Enide Dear
Warnings: teasing
Pairing: RenoxKadaj
Summary: Dedicated to :iconphantom-chick: for winning the 4 444 kiriban! Her request was RenoxKadaj and Hot Chocolate, so here ya go, hon'! I hope you like it!
Author's note: Find the hidden movie quote!
Gods damned *fucking* Tseng and his Gaia-forsaken lack of a sense of humour! Reno cursed under his breath because every time he opened his mouth his breath stood like a plume around his face and a thing like that could attract unwanted attention, which might lead to a fight, a beating, and possibly death. Although right now Reno barely cared about that any longer, if only they would take him inside to do it. It was *freezing* outside, the rain had turned to sleet and the wind seemed determined to get as much of it as possibly down his neck, under his shirt or into his pants. Pervy fucking wind!
Reno moved his feet a little, just to make sure they hadn't frozen to the metal grid of the fire stair. The alley below him smelled of sour milk and old cabbage but across from where he had been sitting for the last two hours, from inside a run down apartment, warm yellow light spilled out into the rapidly falling autumn night. Two pale figures lay slouching on a worn couch, thick quilted blankets drawn to their chin as they ate popcorn and laughed as they watched The Saw. Maybe someone should tell them it wasn't supposed to be a comedy.
*Come on, you little bastards, do something interesting. Get my blood flowing, yo…" Reno grumbled to himself but the two eldest Remnants seemed in no mood for any mad monkey sex tonight. *Just my damn luck, not only do I get the crappiest night ever for a stakeout, the horniest buggers in the world decides to play house that same night!* He shifted again, and shoved his hands deep into his armpits to warm them. *And all because Tseng can't take a fucking joke! How was I supposed to know the guy had a phobia for chickens, anyway?" He pouted a bit over the unfairness of the world, but only succeeded in getting his lower lip frozen. *And where is Kadaj? Is he hiding under the blankets or what? With any luck he'd be in the shower…" Reno threw a hopeful glance at the bathroom window, but it was dark. *With *my* fucking luck, he's baking cookies, or something!*
This was too damn cold, and wet and miserable! Reno shook his hair free from the water that had been dripping down his face. He'd get pneumonia and die, and then they'd all be sorry, especially Tseng… At least once the head of Turks had cleaned out the last chicken feathers from his office. Reno's nose suddenly tickled, and he almost panicked - *mustnotmakenoise!* - but all the screaming that was going on on the TV screen would probably hide any sound he made, and oh Gods, it tickled so much…
He sneezed, and looked up quickly in case the brothers had heard him, but they didn't even move. With a sigh he relaxed.
"Bless you. It looks like you need it."
Reno froze as the pleasant voice came from just above him. He swung around, electro-rod in one hand and drying his dripping nose on the sleeve of the other one.
Kadaj was sitting just above him on the windowsill of an abandoned apartment, one leg dangling outside and a steaming cup in his hand. He looked dry and warm as he wrinkled his nose at the Turk.
"That's disgusting. Didn't your Mother teach you not to do that?"
"What the Hell?! How long have you been there?" Agitated, Reno swung his rod in the air.
Kadaj shrugged and sipped his cup. There was a thermos standing just in front of him.
"Since about ten minutes after you got here. Are you having fun down there? All wet and shivering…you look like some drenched alley cat."
"Ten minutes!" There were no way, *no way* he was telling Tseng about this…maybe he'd get lucky and Kadaj would kill him. He was pretty sure he'd go to a warmer place when he died anyway.
"Yes, well, once we spotted you climbing up here, it took Yazoo a few minutes to fix the sandwiches and chocolate and another few minutes for Loz to find me a blanket." Kadaj's smile was the very essence of smugness. "You see, they wouldn't want me to catch a cold out here."
"You little fucker!" Reno was too upset by the thought of warm drink and a dry blanket so tantalizingly close to even really care about his botched mission. "Give me some chocolate!"
Kadaj took another long sip. Warm steam rose from the cup.
"Hmmm…no." he said sweetly.
"What? Why?"
"Because." Kadaj smiled nastily.
"A'right, that's it. I'm coming up there!" Throwing all caution aside, Reno snarled and started climbing the rickety, rusty stairs towards the Remnant who watched him interested. Once Reno's head poked over the windowsill, Souba was waiting just by his throat. Reno frowned.
"Take that stupid thing away, if you wanted to kill me you would have done so hours ago."
"Maybe I wanted to see you suffer first?" All that leather had some good uses, Reno realised, as any sloppy sleet that hit Kadaj's dangling leg simply ran off, conveniently dripping down Reno's neck.
"Give me some chocolate, and let me use that blanket! You are just sitting on it!"
"What do I get in return?" Kadaj rose a slender eyebrow.
"What do you want? The keys to Hojo's lab? The combination to Rufu's safe? Information about Tseng's secret fear?"
Kadaj snorted. The blade was still at Reno's neck, but the Turk was more concerned about the rapidly sinking levels of warm chocolate in the thermos.
"Why would I want to *return* to that lab, you idiot? And the combination to the safe is one, two, three, four, five, which is, by the way, the kind of combination an idiot would have on his luggage, and all that's in there is Rufus' collection of dirty yaoi magazines and some crude footages from the Turks' showers. And Tseng is afraid of chocoboes. Everyone knows that."
"Wrong!"
"Wrong?"
"It's chickens. Otherwise I wouldn't be here."
"Oh. Anyway, I want something else."
"Name it, before I sneeze on you and infect you."
"A kiss."
"What?" Reno wasn't sure he's heard right, maybe he'd got water in his ears.
"One kiss – one cup of chocolate. A good kiss, mind you. It's damn good chocolate. And very…hot."
Reno blinked some sleet off his eyelashes. This had to be a trick, somehow, but he was too frozen to care…
The sword was removed as Reno heaved himself up to the windowsill, grabbed Kadaj's neck and pulled their heads together. Kadaj's lips were soft and warm, his mouth opening eagerly to the taste of hot chocolate as Reno's tongue moved in. Warmth flushed all through Reno's body at the contact and as he reluctantly withdrew, Kadaj's green eyes shone at him.
"Now give me my chocolate." Reno insisted and Kadaj handed him the cup; it was hot and very strong and Reno was pretty sure he could taste a good dollop of dark rum in there. Caring brothers indeed. Here in the windowsill they were out of way of the elements and Reno realised just how wet he really was.
"So," he said as the hot chocolate burned away the last of his chill. "What do I have to do to get the blanket?"
Kadaj smirked.
"Well, I'm sure you'll think of something…"