She would have to go through hell to get back to him but she would die trying, if that's what it took. When she had run away from Winterfell all those years ago, she had vowed to herself to live a life of solitude and remorse for playing with the hearts of a Stark and a Snow. Instead of choosing one over the other, Gwynne had chosen neither and fled Winterfell in the middle of the night.
The Starks had given her everything and she had betrayed them in a way that would haunt her for the rest of her days. The Gods would ultimately be the ones to judge her when her days came to an end and she had planned to spend the rest of them praying for forgiveness, both from the Gods and the Starks.
And then, just like that, all of the innocence of their past seemed to vanish within the blink of an eye.
Jon had left for a life at the Wall. Lord Stark had been slaughtered by the Lannisters. The Stark sisters, Sansa and Arya, were being held prisoner by the family that had murdered their father. The North was at war with Winterfell being lost in the wreckage. Robb had married and had been murdered along with his mother, Lady Stark, and his new wife.
She had heard the horrid stories of everyone's demise. Everyone but Jon Snow.
The people she encountered had been quick to assure her of the bastard's death. Those bastards will see to it to kill each and every living Stark, I can assure you that, a man had drunkenly told her one night in the dinning hall of an inn she had been staying at. If they slaughtered even little Rickon, I promise you they will find and flay the bastard, as well.
She hadn't wanted to believe it, but in the all of the death and darkness that had taken over her world, Gwynne knew that anything was possible. It would take months to reach the Wall, but she knew that it housed the only one who still mattered and it was where she needed to be.
Through her journey, Gwynne stopped and spent the night at whatever inn her horse would collapse by. It was the only time she would let herself take a break from the long ride. She couldn't afford to lose her horse, not with such a long distance between herself and the Wall. The weather was changing swiftly, growing colder and biting deeper into her bone with each passing day. Winter was coming and she feared what it could bring with it.
Death. The voice in the back of her head was as bitter as the wind that crept under the cloak that shielded her body from the worst of it. But still, she pushed her horse further North. Death was the only thing that could stop her from finding Jon. For all she knew, she was the last person he would want to see. She had good reason to be. And yet, it wasn't enough to deter her from going to him.
As she grew closer to the Wall, Gwynne's horse had finally succumbed to the journey. The cold and lack of shelter as they travelled further North had proven to be too much for it to handle. She had been left with no other choice but to travel the remainder of the way by foot. It had taken no more than a few hours before she began to regret her decision. The cold was setting in and each step further seemed harder and harder to make.
Snow began to fall and cloud Gwynne's vision. She reached up and bunched her hood tightly around her face to try and shield herself from the oncoming snow. To her disappointment, it didn't seem to help much. And then she saw something and it stopped dead in her tracks.
She blinked feverishly, trying to assure herself that her eyes had simply been playing tricks on her. And yet, nothing changed. There it stood before her, a destroyed and seemingly deserted Winterfell. She tried to step forward, to run towards her home and cry and beg the Gods to turn back time. But her legs were firmly planted into the ground. A few seconds later, they collapsed beneath her.
The hood that protected her from the cold fell to her shoulders as her palms dug into the snow covering the ground. She sobbed, tears streaming down her face as she finally mourned for all that had been lost. She had heard people whispering about Theon capturing Winterfell, but she had never truly believed them. It wasn't until she had stumbled across the burning town that she realized all she had heard was the truth.
Her heart ached when she remembered all those times she had watched Robb, Jon and Theon laugh and joke around with one another. Many of those times she had been right there, laughing amongst them. The four of them had been inseparable at one point in their childhood and she couldn't fathom how he could do this to the people who had raised him like one of their own. He had often referred to himself as a "Stark prisoner" when it was just the two of them, but even Theon knew that couldn't have been further from the truth. Ned Stark held him within the Wall of Winterfell to keep his father from waging war again, but Theon had grown up amongst all the Stark children as though he had been one himself
He had been trained in the art of battle and learned to wield a sword alongside Ned's first born son and heir. He had never gone hungry and had received the same punishments as Robb when they disobeyed their parents and gone astray.
Despite everything, Gwynne understood that she was no better than Theon. She betrayed them, though not to the extent that Theon had. But no matter how many tears she cried out there in the open field just beyond the broken down walls, Gwynne continued struggling to come to terms with what lay before her, rotting in the snow. She had never wanted to stop her journey to the Wall more than she did in that moment. She wanted to give up, to curl up into a ball and let the cold take her. And yet, somehow she managed to find the strength to push herself back to her feet and towards the rubble of the place she had once called home.
She could smell something burning in the air as she walked past the walls and into the streets of Winterfell. Houses had been burnt to the ground with decaying bodies laid scattered amongst the rubble. She recognized some of the rotting faces and would have thrown up had she eaten anything in the past few days. It all seemed like a dream, too outlandish to be reality. Until a noise suddenly erupted from an approaching alleyway and she found herself snapped out of the deep trance.
The old her would have turned to Jon or Robb for help and protection, but she had lost them both. She only had herself, now. Gwynne stepped forward and cautiously looked into the alley. It could have been a friendly face or an unknown enemy, but to her surprise it had turned out to be neither.
She looked at the silky white coat and subconsciously moved towards the horse she had tried to train in the field just a few years ago. The snowflakes blended into the horse's body and Gwynne reached forward, her fingertips burning with desperation to touch the beautiful animal standing before her.
Gwynne remembered the first time she had laid eyes on the horse. She had been out riding with Jon after sundown one night. They had lost track of time and knew they were going home to a tongue lashing so they rode their horses back as fast as they would take them. She had seen a movement from the corner of her eye but managed to convince herself that she was just making it up. They kept riding until she finally listened to the voice in the back of her mind and glanced over her shoulder. She had never seen a horse so pure and untouched before and it had taken her breath away for a split second. Jon's voice had distracted her from the horse and before long she had lost sight of it. Nearly a year later, she had tried to tame the wild horse in the very field she had just collapsed in. And here it was, standing before her, in the rubble of Winterfell.
"Come here. It's okay." She shivered violently under her heavy cloak but tried to steady her voice to avoid frightening the horse away. This horse was her last hope to reach the Wall. If she tried to go any further on her own, she would collapse from exhaustion and exposure. My death is the only way I will not find you, Jon. I swear to you, I will not give up. If you're alive, I will find you.
She prayed to the Gods to grant her this one thing. She could go another day without food and could ration whatever water remained. The only thing she needed was this horse to carry her the rest of the way to the Wall. She would thank them for the rest of her days if it meant they would give her this.
The horse hesitated and sniffed Gwynne's hand cautiously. It could have sensed her sadness or her desperation, but something it smelt made it relax and allow her shaky hand to gently stroke its nose. Gwyne spent the next few minutes gaining the horse's trust. She ran her frozen fingertips through it's soft mane which drew a happy neigh from the animal. Eventually, when Gwynne had found enough courage to try, she moved closer to the horse and climbed onto its back.
She tried to brace herself for a fall, assuming the horse would instantly try to throw her off its back. To her surprise, the horse had decided to let her remain seated on it. She leaned forward and stroked the horse's neck, a small smile spreading across her dry lips as a distant memory suddenly took over.
Lord Stark had just taught Robb how to ride a horse without a saddle and a rein. A man should always be prepared, no matter what situation you may find yourself in. Ned had told his heir. It is a skill you may never need but one that is important to possess. It had taken Robb longer than he would have liked to admit, but eventually he was able to command his horse without using the tools he had grown accustomed to. He had already taught his half brother and eagerly suggested Gwynne had let him teach her, too. She had at first resisted, but Robb knew he would eventually wear her down. He also knew his Lady mother would be furious if she found out he was teaching Gwynne something so unladylike, so he came up with a way to try and hide it. Robb gave Gwynne some of his clothes to wear to prevent destroying her dresses and leaving evidence of their lessons for handmaidens to find and alert Lady Stark.
Robb's plan had worked. It worked and Gwynne had finally become comfortable with riding a horse without help from either a saddle or a rein. The memory stung when she suddenly realized that she had lost him twice. And just like that, everything seemed as distant as the Wall.
If she had stayed in Winterfell and married Robb, would that have altered the course of their lives? Would the Starks still be alive or would the Gods have simply taken them away in a different way?
You cannot keep focusing on what could have been. Find Jon. Go to him, go to him now.
She listened to the voice in the back of her mind and prepared herself for the remainder of her long journey. In just under a day, she would be at the Wall. She would find Jon and somehow, someway, everything would be okay. All she had to do was live long enough to get there.
So, what did everyone think of the first chapter? Drop a review! I'd love to know what you think!