I Miss Everything About You

A/N

WARNING, THIS STORY CONTAINS HARD YAOI

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Kadona, Hashino, and Hiro have been living together ever since they started their second year of middle school. They're currently in their third year of high school, and are nearing their graduation.

For the past three years, Hashino has been suffering from depression. He's isolated himself and never comes out of his room. At least until one morning when Kadona mindlessly knocks on his bedroom door, already knowing Hashi won't open it.

For those who don't know who is who, here's a reminder:

Hashi- Butch

Kadona- Boomer

Hiro- Brick

This story is based on a few ideas thought of my wonderful girlfriend.

The original concepts of the RRB belong to Craig McCracken, but all of these backstory ideas and headcanons belong to me.

None of us knew when it happened, nor did we know how it happened. It just.. happened.

Hashi had always been the person who seemed unapproachable because of his appearance, but once you got to know him, he was the kind of person who could cheer just about anyone up with his dorky smile. Any time someone in our group of friends was feeling upset, one small conversation with Hashi would put a smile on their face for the rest of the day. You wouldn't expect that from a tall, muscular, punk/scene guy like him. But one day, that person disappeared... And it was replaced by someone who was mute, constantly somber-looking, and suffering from serious depression. He began to shut everyone out of his life, not ever talking to them. He would never come out of his room, unless he was going to school. He hardly ate, expect for when he was forced to at dinner time. We would all constantly ask him what was wrong, but he never responded. This went on for almost four years...

I woke up early on a Sunday morning, and was unable to fall back asleep no matter how much I tried. I sighed, and eventually got out of bed. Normally, on our days off, I'd take the opportunity to get some extra sleep because school always wore me out. Since I was still extremely tired, I went ahead and got in the shower to wake myself up. Once clean and dressed, I went downstairs and found Hiro in the kitchen making breakfast. He smirked when he saw me.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty. You're up early." I rolled my eyes.
"I'm only up cause I couldn't fall back asleep. I didn't do this by my own choice."

Before I go on, I'd let to get a few things straight. Hashi, Hiro, and I all live together in our own house, even though we haven't graduated high school yet. No, we are not related. Hiro's parents kicked him out after he came out as genderfluid. Hashi was a foster child, but he moved out after his foster parents were both arrested. And I... Well, I ran away from home. When I was younger, my mom and dad would always argue. My dad would repeatedly hit my mom, my two sisters, and I. They eventually divorced, and my mom took custody of me and my sisters. I didn't run away because I hated living with my mom. She loved me and took care of me. I ran away because of her boyfriend. He didn't have a job, so he was always home with my sisters and I while our mom was still at work. My mom saw it as a great thing because we'd have someone to watch us until she got home. But her boyfriend saw it as an opportunity to take advantage of us. We were only ten years old at the time, so we had no idea what was going on. He would always lure us into the den, asking us if we wanted to "play a game." We never said anything to our mom because he threatened to hurt her if we did. As we got older, he did it less and less. To me at least.. My sisters weren't so lucky. By the time we were in middle school, they both were pregnant from his "games." They finally told our mom the truth, but she didn't believe either of them. I was already friends with Hiro at that time, and we both raised enough money to get our own place. My sisters eventually stepped forward and reported everything our mom's boyfriend had done, and he was sent to prison. After that, I never heard anything about them or my mom. I just hope that whatever happened, they're all doing better now. But enough about that...

Once Hiro finished preparing breakfast, we made ourselves plates and ate. Ever since Hashi started isolating himself, we always ate in silence. It just wasn't the same without him sitting there with us. After breakfast, I went upstairs to my bedroom to find something to do. On my way to my room, I stopped in front of Hashi's door. I could hear faint whimpering noises from inside. I knocked softly, calling out his name quietly.
"Hashi?..." There was silence, then a soft rustling sound and a faint creak from movement on his bed. I knew it was hopeless to get him to come out, he'd already been like this for three years now. But what happened next shocked me.. I heard soft footsteps, and his door opened slowly. He stared blankly at me with his emerald-green eyes. You could tell something was wrong just by looking at them, and his facial expression was a clear sign that he had been crying.

Since this was the first time in forever that he had opened his door for reasons other than school or dinner, I didn't know what to do. He didn't say anything, which didn't surprise me. I stared at him for what seemed like the longest time, before I hugged him tightly without thinking. My sudden actions must've surprised him because he made no movement for a few moments, before saying my name softly,
"Kadona.." The only thing that was running through my mind was why he was all of a sudden opening his bedroom door and talking to me. We stood there, hugging in silence for what seemed like hours, until he pulled away. I looked back up at him, and now noticed every detail of his face. He looked the exact same as he did three years ago, but with one look you could tell he wasn't. My mind was suddenly flooded with memories we'd shared before all of this started happening, and before I knew it, I was crying.
"H-Hashi... I.. I missed you... So much..." He didn't respond, but his presence was good enough for me. I hugged him again, burying my face against his chest.
"Why have you been doing this for so long? Why did you shut us all out?" Still no response.
"Hashi... Whatever's wrong with you, I want to get you help.. I can't stand you not being a part of my life anymore. I miss your smile, your laugh, your stupid jokes..." I looked him straight in the eye, hot tears flowing down my face. "I miss you..." He bit his lip as tears formed in his own eyes. He hugged me back tightly, sobbing softly. Without even saying anything, I knew what he was trying to tell me.
"It's okay, I'm not mad at you... I forgive you..."

~Time skip to a few months later~

For the first few weeks I started going into Hashi's room every day, he never spoke. He would write small notes on paper and give them to me, but that's the only communicating he would do. But I didn't mind. I always told him stories of things that happened ever since he isolated himself to keep any awkward silence from happening. After about a month, he slowly began talking more and more. About three weeks after that, I began to notice him smile every so often, especially when I was telling him stories of things that happened to me. I was glad he was finally opening up a little, but it saddened me that he wasn't doing it with anyone else. At the same time though, it made me feel special.

It was Hashi's birthday, and I had woken up early that morning to make him a special birthday breakfast. I softly knocked on the door before opening it.
"Hashi?.." I poked my head in, and my face went pale. He was getting dressed, and he stood there in his boxers, looking for something wear in his closet. I saw all of them.

His body was covered in scars. Some looked more recent than others. They were all over his arms, legs, and sides. I knew depression was the reason he'd isolated himself, but I was never aware that he had been cutting himself all this time.
'That would explain the whimpering I heard when I walked by his door a few months ago... He had been cutting...'

He hadn't heard me say his name, nor did he hear me come in, so I said his name a bit louder.
"Hashi...?" He turned around, the color draining from his face when he saw me.
"K-Kadona.. W-what are you doing-?" I cut him off before he could finish his sentence,
"This is what you've been doing all these years?... You've been locked away in your room, hurting yourself..? Instead of every trying to talk to either of us, you shut us out and covered your body in scars?.." He looked at the floor, clearly feeling ashamed of what he'd done.
"I didn't know how to talk to you... I've told you before, I don't know what triggered the depression or why it happened... I knew what I was doing was wrong, but my mind just kept telling me to do it.. I'm so sorry..." He walked over to me, and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into a tight hug.
"I've been trying my hardest to stop, I promise... I've been doing it a lot less..." His voice quivered as he spoke, and eventually cracked, "Kadona... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." He buried his face against my neck, and sobbed. I instantly felt bad for being so cold towards him for hurting himself. He couldn't help the fact that he was suffering from depression, and I knew how sensitive his emotions had become because of it.
"It's alright, Hashi, I'm not mad at you.. I promise..." He lifted his head up, and looked at me with a tear-streaked face. I smiled softly, wiping away the tears, and I kissed his forehead softly. He smiled, chucking softly.
"But just promise that you'll stop?.." His smile widened,
"Anything for you..." We stood there, for what seemed like hours, in an embrace.

I've known Hashi since I was in pre-school, and he'd always been like an older brother to me. We'd always been close with each other, and we knew every little thing about each other. We would always been open and honest, and would spend hours upon hours rambling on about absolutely nothing. But ever since we started spending a lot of our time together in his room, the way I felt about him started to change. Over the past few months we had grown even closer than we were before. Being in an embrace with him felt so right.

I couldn't help but stare at his lips and his emerald green eyes. Hashi must have noticed because he smirked slightly. He brought his face close to mine, and I could feel his breath on my lips.
'This feels so wrong... But it feels so... Right..' He softly pressed his lips up against mine, sending a rush of pleasure through my whole body. I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. I don't know how long it lasted. It may have only been a few seconds, but it felt like forever. I didn't want to pull away. I wanted to be in his arms forever. I wanted to be with him forever. I wanted to be with him. I wanted him. His tongue began exploring my mouth as soon as it entered, and we fought for dominance. I eventually gave in and let him take over, massaging my tongue with his own. I wasn't sure what pushed him to do this, but I didn't want him to ever stop. I now understood what those new feelings were. I was in love with Hashi.

He slid his hands down my waist and hips, causing me to tremble with pleasure. Where had this side of him been all this time, and why am I just now getting to see it? He pushed me against the wall, kissing me more roughly and passionately. I ran my fingers through his jet-black hair, gripping onto it. He moaned softly, and god, his moans are the sexiest thing you have ever heard. I felt the bulge in his boxers as he grinded against me; I wanted to rip them off of him. He broke the kiss, and a string of saliva connected to each of our tongues.
"Kadona," he moaned softly. His cheeks were flushed a deep red, and his expression was full of lust. I never would've thought that the guy who was once like an older brother to me, would end up being the person I desperately wanted to lose my virginity to. He purred softly in my ear,
"I want you to open yourself up to me even more..." He bit down on my neck, causing soft moans to escape my mouth. He slowly began to strip me of my clothes.

Once he had me undressed, Hashi was kissing every square inch of my chest, and letting his hands explore my body. The only things that could come out of my mouth were his name and soft moans. Once he got down to my abdomen area, he paused. He growled softly, and gripped my erect member tightly and slipped it into his mouth.
"H-HASHI!" Pleasure rushed through my entire body. All I could hear from him was muffled moans, and soft sucking noises. It wasn't long until I screamed, and released a load of liquid into his mouth. There was a short moment of silence before he swallowed while moaning softly, clearly enjoying the taste. He slipped my member out of his mouth, but he wasn't going to hold back from giving me as much pleasure as possible. Hashi slowly began to rub my member up and down, teasing me with pleasurable torture. My whole body shook, and I couldn't do anything but moan loudly. He slowly began to quicken his pace, causing my moans to grow louder.

After making me release a few more times, Hashi got back up to his feet and looked down at me with a lustful expression. I was panting heavily and blushing a deep red. He chuckled softly,
"Am I already wearing you out?" He ran his fingers through my tangled blonde hair and kissed my forehead softly.
"Can I least enter you once before we stop?" My blush deepened as I buried my face against his neck, nodding. He chuckled once more, rubbing my entrance softly with two fingers.
"A-aah!" He growled lustfully in my ear,
"Sensitive, are we?" I nodded again. He pushed me back up against the wall, lifting me up slightly.
"Ready?" he purred. I kept my head against his neck, nodding once more. He softly rubbed his member against my entrance before thrusting in.

I had never felt as much pleasure or pain as I did at that moment. I let out a loud scream, digging my fingernails into Hashi's back. He had barely gotten in, and it already felt like Satan was ripping apart my lower half. He grunted softly, holding me tightly, as he thrusted the rest of his member in.
"HASHI!" Tears were running down my face, and I dug my nails even deeper into his back.
"I-it's alright, Kadona!" he said, thrusting in and out at a very quick pace. I wanted to open myself up to him as much as possible, but I wasn't aware of how much it would hurt. It was pretty damn stupid of me to forget how painful taking it in the ass felt, considering what happened when I was younger.. It must have slipped my mind in the heat of the moment. He slowly began to thrust harder, and the pain was soon replaced by nothing but pleasure. My screams soon became full of lust, and they grew louder with each thrust. It wasn't too long before Hashi released his load of liquid into me, and burying his face against my neck. We both were panting heavily and breathlessly, feeling completely exhausted. He covered my neck in soft, loving kisses. I knew that it was time to tell him the truth.
"Hashi... I'm in love with you... So much..." He lifted his head up and smiled warmly at me.
"And I'm in love you..." He kissed me lovingly and passionately.

~Epilogue, Hashi's POV~

It's been seven years since that day. Seven years since I escaped the dark void known as depression. Seven years since I became one with the love of my life. Seven years since I remembered what it felt like to be happy.

Kadona, Hiro, and I went on to graduate high school together. Hiro became a social worker, to help children in abusive homes. Kadona and I both became teachers at our old academy. I now teach high school third years, and he teaches the children in pre-school. It's both an exciting, but sad, moment seeing those students grow up right before our eyes. They're always so surprised to learn the last teacher they'll have before college is the husband of their very first school teacher. Kadona and I adopted a child after our first year of being married. She's now three years old, and she's our whole world. Her name is Nemizaki, and we love her more than anything. Every year on our anniversary, I never forget to give Kadona all the thanks he deserves for helping me back when we were still in high school. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have the life that we now share together. Each day, we still grow closer to each other. We still have that spark between us that we felt from our very first kiss, and we both know the spark will never die out until our final breaths. Kadona and I have already made plenty of wonderful memories together, and I just know that we still have plenty more to make, especially now that we have a family together.