Captain Rorschach's journal
Stardate 46395.2
Met Romulans. Raised shields. Fired phasers. Destroyed one. Scared two. Going home. Warp 6.
Rorschach's Journal:
Date unknown
Next flash brought me to Africa, meet a large white man, kept asking if i've seen Jill, must investigate further, I can't move and shoot at the same time. Killed a snake, gold egg popped out. Meet a small white man, told me I was just in time for the fire works show, broke his fingers.
Rorschach's Journal:
Date unknown
Next flash brought me to backwater town in Spain. Man tried to attack me with axe. Broke his Fingers. Some sort of squid-like creature bursted out of his head. Apparantly part of Veidts plan. Also heard something about Presidents daughter. Unaware Nixon had daughter. Must Investigate further
Rorschach's Journal.
December 6th, 2002.
Next flash brought me to a place I don't quite know. They speak a language I do not understand, possibly Japanese. Most likely Japanese. Came across little, green haired girl. Loud, annoying. The girl kept talking to me, or at least, I would suppose she was. She walked away. Flash taking me to another place again.
Rorschach's Journal:
Date Unknown
On rooftop with four individuals. Three men, one black, and a woman. Heard them screaming something about a tank. Muscle man came out screaming. Broke his fingers. Black man kept screaming, something about Pills, must investigate further, old man, possibly homosexual, woman, obviously a whore, the last man, a drug addled criminal. Don't like this reality
On top of hospital, man in hooded shirt jumped me, threw him down elevator shaft
Rorschach's Journal
Date Unknown
Killed man with his own golf club, everyone else in this underwater city. Waiting for next teleport. Must find tea shop.
Rorschach's Journal
Date Unknown
Another reality jump, now back in New York, fighting along side Dan, trying to bust up gangs, I feel slow and clunky, have strange urge to pick up coins with my face on them, feeling stronger.
Rorschach's Journal
Date Unknown
Woke up near some trash cans in some small city, possibly near New York. Probably between 11 PM and 3 AM. Surprisingly not a lot of people out.
A green person with a unibrow is telling me to scram. A giant yellow bird is sleeping in an appropriately sized nest.
Must further inves-
*rest of page torn out, with bits of blue hair and cookie crumbs along the rip lines*
Rorschach's Journal
Date Unkown
Teleport brought me to a little girl, forcibly making animals fight against each other. Smashed brains of a bird, shock of the blow ran up my arm, warm blood splatter on face. Little girl ran.
Rorschach's Journal:
Date unknown
Found myself in a room with a muscular man with a skull on his shirt questioning burglar. Man threatened to break burglar's legs. Pulled out a gun that fires swords. Man broke both of the burglar's legs before he talked. I like this man.
Rorschach's Journal
Date approximately 21XX
Woke up, startled by smog. Realized had been sleeping in capsule-like thing. Right hand missing, in place is a hole. Shook hand vigorously, blew hole in wall. Fat man dressed in white speaking. Didn't listen, too busy holding my face. Cannot be peeled off, also very very hard. I like this face.
Glimpsed a man in whorish red attire. Long blonde hair. Held long, green, glowing object. Feminine features. Possibly homosexual. Must investigate further.
Rorschach's Journal:
sometime in the 1980's.
Meet a man named Rick, told me he was never gonna give me up, never gonna let me down, never gonna run around and desert me, obviously homosexual. Broke his fingers
Rorschach's Journal
Date Unknown
Arrived in what looked to be the outskirts of some kind of industrial facility. A fat man with a russian accent heavily armed clad in bright red clothes being followed by another german sounding man wearing a doctors outfit with the same colour, constantly follows him with some kind of handheld lazer cannon, they seemed friendly although. Possibly homosexuals investigate further.
Rorschach's Journal
Date Unknown
Arrived in large mansion. Living room has nice furniture, comfortable couch, refrigerator has vast selection. Home of the decadent rich, obviously--should go teach them lesson. Owners of mansion walked into kitchen, one short square-headed, one tall, both black. Hurm. Taller one made crack about face, approached him and dared him to say it again. Made crack about smell. Broke his fingers, then punched him in face. Had big ears as well. Square-headed one screamed. Quite possibly homosexual, but no time to investigate. Flash changed dimension once more.
Grabbed some cake from fridge just in time.
Rorschach's Journal
Date Unknown
Suddenly in middle of forest. Wandered around for a while. Was approached by elderly bearded man wearing a pointy hat and robe, followed by company of midgets and long haired men. Liberals, possibly homosexuals. Attempted to convince me to join their "fellowship". Homosexual slang term? Must remember to investigate further. Declined. Tree began yelling at me in a slow, deliberate manner. Hallucination? Covertly drugged by homosexuals? Do not know. Ignored tree as best as could.
Was accosted by what appeared to be filthy black men armed with swords. Largest one called me manling, apparent leader. Broke his fingers and fled.
Rorschach's Journal
Place Unknown, 2004
Red-haired girl think she is superhero. Has sidekick who continually loses pants. Warned both they will not be laughing when they are raped and killed, maybe not in that order. Villains are not Saturday morning cartoons.
Then saw blue man threatening them with ray gun. Fiendish cackle. Did not make good on any threats. At all. Wanted to break fingers; would have been like breaking bones of small child.
I miss New York.
Rorschach's Journal
Date Unknown
Landed in the some snowy country side. Met four little boys waiting for bus to school. Asked them where I was. Fat pig boy told me to leave in a very foul manner. Broke his fingers. Small child in a orange jacket ran off scared and was killed by a car.
Rorschach's Journal
Date Unknown
Flash brought me in front of a video rental store. Two young men standing outside. The tall blond one was loud. Said words in some sort of jibberish. Broke his fingers. Shorter bearded one said nothing. Another man came outside from the store with a backwards hat. Told me I couldn't rent here anymore. Sat on curb waiting for next teleport. Overheard the same man talking to another. Other man repeatedly said "I'm not even supposed to be here today". Appropriate.
Rorschach's Journal
Found myself in an oddly colored plain. Floating blocks in the air. Gravity seems to hold no place here. Saw man in plumber's outfit jump on turtle. Says they stole his princess. Whore, no doubt. Still, admired his ruthless sense of justice.
Rorschach's Journal
Date Unknown
Flash brought me to gleaming white spaceship. Man with two heads talking about golden hearts. English man in robe blubbering about his tea and towels. Only the robot saw the world as i do.
Broke all of their fingers.
Rorschach's Journal
Date: Unkown, but signs of ancient civilization.
Woke in Asian country. Unsure which, can't speak language. Witnessed Panda speaking and practicing some crude form of martial arts. Approached with noodles, broke fingers...claws. Attacked by various other animals with unique fighting styles. Communist animal experimentation to serve as secret militia? Must investigate further.
Rorschach's Journal:
Date unknown
Somewhere in USA. Probably Los Angeles. Met a man with red mask. Annoying. Talking a lot. Mostly to himself. Something about being broke, lack of ammunition, heroin. Evangeline Lilly and children pornography. Probably personality disorder. Screamed "Chimichanga" and wave his sword at me. Broke his fingers. He healed in a matter of seconds. Attacked me with a bat. Broke his fingers again. He healed again. Attacked me with a glass. Crushed glass in his hand. He hasn't stop talking. Cut his hands off. He regrew hands and throws his gun at me. Broke his fingers, drop him down the elevator shaft. He screamed about meeting me later. Possibly homosexual. Don't want to investigate further. Don't like this world.
Rorschach's Journal:
Date Unknown
Have gone to hell. Jon was here before me.
Man in ugly hat must have slipped me LSD before the last jump. Light without shadow illuminates everything in nausea-inducing post-primary colors. Mouth tastes like chemicals used to process film, and music squelches at the level of my consciousness like hovering child, just out of sight.
Ponies are for girls. I and not a girl, so why do I halucenate ponies?
A world of adolescent female pre-sexuality. Big doe eyes, and clumsy developing bodies. Buildings and statues- evidence of a hidden human slave-caste?
Horses smile with blinding-white teeth. Suspect ponies-but-no-horse's society is based on cannibalism, killing and devouring each other as they reach adulthood. Menstruation is like a dinner bell that makes everyone start licking their chops.
New rule: Drink only rainwater.
Rorschach's Journal:
Date Unknown
Flash dropped me in alleyway. Noon time. Walk out into street. See fire truck change into large robot. Does battle with fighter jet. Jet also transformers into robot. Fire truck is victorious. Climbs onto fallen robots chest. Demand answers. Ask if it is a communist bot. Won't answer me. Smash it's fingers with a pipe. Screams very loudly. Possibly homosexual. Can robots be homosexual? Must investigate further.
Rorschach's Journal:
Unknown date
Appeared in strange futuristic world, people flew about in green tubes overhead. Wandered into delivery company, robot told me to bit his ass. Homosexual? Orange haired man attempted to seduce one eyed female, got punched. I like this female. Spoke breifly with red alien doctor, called himself Zoidberg. Jewish name? Raustefarian accountant offered me drugs, I broke his hand. Left that liberal cesspool before lost control of anger, future had gone to the hippies and politicians.