Noitra's New Do'
K a p p a F o r e s t
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a/n: I decided to post this after writing it up in class, I mean, what else am I supposed in 3 goddamn studyhalls? This little drabble story thing spawned from someone mentioning to me that Noitra would look an awful lot like Shinji if he ever had decided to cut his hair like his. LOL I think Shinji's the only character in bleach who could pull of a bowl cut, I mean, can you imagine everyone else sporting a wicked sexy bowl cut lol? o.O
warnings: rampant retardedness and unbetaedness
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Disclaimer: " KappaForest-tan does not own Bleach" ....... I need a moment
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Prompt: Bowlcut
Noitra could nothing as at least half the espada broke into spontaneous laughetr upon his arrival. Grinding his teeth, a vain was slowly starting to form on his head when they didn't cease. He knew it was bad idea coming to the meeting, knowing today may very well be in his top 10 list called Days I Should Have Died.
" AHHAHAAAHAA-...wha-...what tha' hell did you DO to yourself?!" Grimmjow was laughing hysterically as he clutched his aching sides.
'make that top 5'
'Bastard'
" Why, isn't it obvious Grimmjow,he wanted a BOWL, to go with his SPOON!!~" Gin was banging his fist loudly on the meeting table, laughing at his own joke.
'Double Bastards'
" FUCK YOU Grimmjow, this was YOUR fault in the first place!"
It was just the other day that said bluenette decided to fling his chewed up piece of gum at the poor kitchen utensil, seeing as he had nowhere and no one else to dispose it of.
Well... really, he actually meant to aim it at the back of his satellite of a uniform, but he must have put too much strength into it as that same piece of gum landed peacefully atop his head. Grimmjow had immediatly slapped a hand over his mouth as he silently backed away, where he went to, who knows.
That night, the sticky pink blob had settled even further as moved his head around in his sleep, stretching and creating tight knots and tangles.
By morning, the residents of Las Noches woken up to the most Horrendous and unholy screeching noise ever made as it echoed through the halls of Las Noches.
(somewhere far away, a hollow ostriche jammed it's head in the sand)
He decided to confront a certain pink haired scientist about his problem.
*Flashback*
"....."
"oh...my-" he spluttered.
Szayel's red face looked about ready to explode after taking one look at the webs of pink, twisting and mangling tightly with the ebony strands.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP Ya' queer! I don' need ta' hear this."
he crossed his arms childishly.
" AHAHAHAHA.... but you.....your ..... HAIR-"
'stupid bitch,queer,fuckin'pansy assed-'
" Ok, OK seriously could you just....Do....somthin' bout' it already.?"
'homo,fruity,motherfuc-'
he glanced sideways
" I don' wanna go out there lookin' like you."
Szayel quickly recovered himself, unruffled by his comment.
" Well, if you must know, there is a very simple solution that will solve everything."
" What's that?"
*End Flashback*
Ok. Today was officially the worst day of his nonexistent life. The man who was supposedly helping him decided to play hairstylist for day, and CHOPPED his hair into a nice, neat, and PERFECT little bowl cut.
No literally.A BOWL cut. he took a bowl from who knows where and literally put it over his-
"GODAMMIT! WILL YOU TWO QUIT LAUGHING ALREADY!?"
The quinta's already long face was further elongated by the shortness of his new do'.
His face scrunched up.
'Dammit! of all the dumb and stupid things'
Well, at least he could count on Halibel, at least she's always-....wait,no,her shoulders are shaking..that means she's laughing........Well at least he could always count on Ulquiorra! He looked over at Ulquiorra who was giving him a sympathetic look, but only because he knew he'd be pretty sad himself if some imbecil were to give him a haircut of the sorts.
Barragan?
"Kids these days, back when this ol' coot was a menos I-"
Yammy?
" I wonders when Noitora will get heres, he's goings to be pretty pissedid when he finds co-co-nut man in his chairses."
Aaroniero?
Aaron:" Ha! look at that fool. He's fugly as a horse!"
Niero:" Well compared to you, he's an ANGEL!"
Aaron:"Bitch-"
Niero:"-Cunt"
Random Hollow Dog!?
" Arf! Yap! *whine*!!"
Translation: "You got duped BITCH!"
Sonnova dough boy- Stark was even SLEEP LAUGHING at him?!?!
Now that was just border line weird, he'd have to check up on that later. His new do' (or don't) couldn't be that bad could it?
'Oh yes it tis'
He slowly turned to Szayel
"you"
"said"
"This"
"Would"
"HELP ME!
said pink haired scientist flipped his hair
" And it did. I got rid of the gum didn't I , plus look at that masterpiece-"
he formed a rectangle with his fingers, holding it up in front of Noitra's face.
" Just marvel at it! Clean straight edges, even color tone, I am SO proud-"
" DO I LOOK HAPPY!? What do you have to say for your self!"
"....."
"....."
"......"
"You..."
"......"
"....Have no taste."
As the fruity scientist furthered his embarrassment, the poor quinta finally passed out from the high levels of stupidity, mental scarrage, and other damage to his pride. His body convulsed on the floor as Grimmjow poked it with is sword.
"Ha! The wuss couldn't handle a gay haircut."
He propped one leg on his knee as he placed his hands behind his head, leaning back into his chair.
" Che' I don' blame im', if I had a haircut like that I'd probably hafta' kick my own ass."
A smirk formed on a certain Pinkette's face as he listened
"That could be arranged."
~End~
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a/n:I just finished imagining everyone with bowl cuts and now i'm probably gonna have odd dreams tonight. yay,can't wait! Review if you like, but no one's forcing you
Chow~ K a p p a F o r e s t